|
|
Post by sierra on Apr 20, 2004 19:11:33 GMT -5
This board is visited by people from all over the world and not all of them are necessarily born or raised Christians.
I don't make the rules around here but I'm comfortable sitting at the table with my coffee and the computer and discussing ADHD with people of different cultures and faiths.
Songwriter, I hope you'll find that whatever your beliefs this forum will be here for you. It's an ADHD group, not a prayer group, though most of us will be grateful for any prayers on our behalf.
If there's a God then he made my sprouts ADHD because they were born that way. Me too for that matter. God did give them to me to raise. I do my best but I'm not perfect and I make mistakes. We don't sin because we're ADHD we sin because we're human.
I'm the same parent to both my sprouts. The older one has a strong moral compass and I believe he'll make good choices in life despite being ADHD. The younger one has a good heart but he's also a very stubborn and contrary person. The 10 commandments and the gospels aren't reason enough for him at least right now. "Because God said so" sounds too much like the parental "Because I said so" to a child with Oppositional Defiant Disorder. Neither statement works with Li'l Sprout at the moment though it would sure make my job as a parent a little easier if they did work.
|
|
|
|
Post by BBW4EVR1 on Apr 21, 2004 1:06:56 GMT -5
In the end, I think, Christian or not, we all want the same thing for our children (ADHD or not). That is for them to lead happy, healthy physical as well as emotional lives. How we achieve that will be different in each household. In our house, as you all know, we live by absolutes on major issues and we will not change our way of parenting on the "absolutes" no matter what our child/children is diagnosed with. Sierra brings up valid points, as does HooDunnit. We all form our parenting skills based on our past and our beliefs--I believe all of the parents on this forum are some of the best parents in the world 'cuz we all care enough to discuss these tough issues. Bottom line at our house, it will always be "because I said so, that's why!" Thanks to all on this post who have been so candid and honest with their respones!  |
|
|
|
Post by camismom on Apr 21, 2004 8:14:29 GMT -5
Songwriter:
I call myself a Christian, in fact I AM a christian, but I don't claim to be perfect and impervious to sin. We are all sinners according to God. "For all have sined and fall short of the glory of God." That is why Jesus died on the cross for us. This is a place for people to come and talk, share views, find support. We are a people of different views, religions, backgrounds, but we are a COMMUNITY. We should respect others opinions and not judge. In fact, the Bible teaches against that too: James 4:12 "There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the one who is able to save and destroy. But you-who are you to judge your neighbor?"
I respect your views on this, and agree that premarital sex is a sin. But many things we do each day are a sin. I am not perfect, and know you aren't either. It's not your place to judge, and I hope you can see that and remember that in the future.
|
|
|
|
Post by BBW4EVR1 on Apr 21, 2004 8:25:21 GMT -5
Don't be so hard on Songwriter-he too is simply expressing his point of view--whether we agree with him or not. I tend to be very straight forward (as you know) in my posts--especially something I am very passionate about. While I don't mean to sound judgemental or harsh, I am sure my posts come across that way. Perhaps it is the same with Songwriter--besides, give him a break, he writes great poems! |
|
|
|
Post by vickilyn32 on Apr 21, 2004 8:47:45 GMT -5
I do not want my children to have sex untill they are married. I have told them that many times, and the reasons why. Both religious and health. but I also realize that children do not allways listen to us. Even though we want to believe that they will ultimately do the right thing, it does not always happen. They are not extensions of ourselves, but each child is their own person with the ability to make their own decisions. Some will be the right ones, some will be the wrong ones. If my child decides to have sex with or without my approval, I would much rather they were able to talk to me about it and protect themselves from a lifetime of consquences(sp?) and maybe even eventual death than I would have them deal with an unwanted baby or STD because I would not help them and they went and did it anyway. I would not like it, and they would know that. Right now that is not an issue, because they both have a lot of self confidence and big dreams for their future, and have told me that sex is not for them untill they are much older and married. I do however know that that may change as they change. I hope and pray that it does not, but it is something I have thought about whenever I find out about a teen having a baby or getting an STD. I also realize that teens do lie to their parents and may tell you that they are not having sex when they are. I worked with a man who did not know his daugher was having sex untill the nurse called him from the hospital to tell him his 15 year old daughter was in labor. She was not to their knowledge allowed to be alone with the boy, and because it was winter was able to hide the pregnacy with sweaters. I was sitting next to him when he got the call, and you can imagine his reaction. I do not ever want to have that happen to me. This was a church going family, she had a mother and father, was an only child, and they thought they were keeping a close eye on her. They also had all the talks, and let her know their beliefs about sex before marrage. In return she was afraid to talk to them when she realized she was going to have a baby. I would be heartbroken if one of my children decided to have sex, and they know this. I have also let them know that they can ask me anything and talk to me about anything and I will help them all I can. In the end that is all anyone can do.
|
|
|
|
Post by Linda on Apr 21, 2004 8:58:36 GMT -5
|
|
|
|
Post by WasAMom on Apr 21, 2004 9:00:51 GMT -5
Thanks to all for your positive words. I said it before, WasAMom is my screen name here, since my kids have access to the internet and know the name I use with you when I come here.
Song Writer, I know I have sinned... the biggest in my eyes although I haven't murdered and don't intend to either.
I appreciate the candid discussions, I spoke out because I want you to share my mistakes with your kids and the results of my mistakes. I am so ashamed of what I have done, I don't want to ever tell my own children. Telling my own mother was so hard, but she was so supportive. Facing my MIL after the affair was worse, and she was supportive also. I don't deserve that treatment, but God gave them the courage to forgive me for my sins. I am trying, but I live with the results everyday.
From this Topic, all that we want is for our children to make wise choices. As parents it is our job to arm them with all the facts. The facts are simple in my eyes, but this is a topic with other issues too. Are they physically ready, emotionally ready, financially ready?
... then the moral issues according to the God, Jesus, Allah, or Mohammed, among others.
As a 16 yr. old girl, I know I wasn't emotionally or financially ready. My body was physically ready, but it was still a strain to go through that stretching and weight gain and puffy feet in the heat in the summer.
I think that BBW has a good set of values set up in her home, and I hope that I can raise my children with the same strong values and morals. I am proud that my sister was able to raise her girl with them.
[glow=red,2,300] You give me hope that I can be stronger for my family and isn't that what this forum is all about? [/glow]
|
|
|
|
Post by Linda on Apr 21, 2004 9:12:32 GMT -5
That is exactly what this forum is about...and if we have helped you in any way,,I for one am very greatful.
I appreciate all the candor and responces...it had to be difficult for some...Thank You...Linda
|
|
|
|
Post by songwriter on Apr 21, 2004 9:49:04 GMT -5
I have read that America leads the industrialized world in STDs.
Should that surprise us? It is impossible to watch prime time T.V. anymore without having Hollywood inflict it's loose morals upon us and our children.
bbw4evr1 was right in saying that this is a topic I feel passionately about. If we as parents dont adopt a passionate stance on these issues then our childrens lives will read as a soap opera or cheap tabloid. Do you want that for your kids?
My intentions were not to hurt anyone-This is my 'family'. I don't know what i'd do without you guys. And I am not holier than thou
Just concerned for the direction this country is headed in.
---songwriter
|
|
|
|
Post by finnmom on Apr 21, 2004 10:06:59 GMT -5
Songwriter  I believe that examble is the most powerfull way to theach, so when I show and tell my thought´s about different thing´s then I wish that my kid´s will adopt those way´s to confront thing´s, believe´s, moral and all from me. I hope, I try, I keep up the moral, theach them age apropriate way´s, talk to them.... rest is up to them. As I´ve said before, I believe in educating, confersation´s and rolemodel´s, but in the end, kid´s make their own desicion´s and carry the consequense´s. I have to believe I´ve got all those thing´s in to their thick skull´s before they´ll reach the age of making desicion´s I think this is common for us all, we all want the best for our kid´s and do what we , each and everyone, find the right thing to do:) Marja |
|
|
|
Post by sierra on Apr 21, 2004 10:12:13 GMT -5
WasAMom,
I just wanted to add my thanks for your sharing of your story. It had to be very hard to bare your soul this way. Though my sprouts have already seen some short term results of impulsive teenaged sexual activity in our family I do plan to share a little of your experience with them when the time is right for each of them.
Though God may not have wanted your life to take these turns, it amazes me that he was able to make so many good things happen as a result.
|
|
|
|
Post by BBW4EVR1 on Apr 21, 2004 18:05:06 GMT -5
WasAMom- I for one think you should change your name to "AmAmom." There is not one parent on this board who has a greater love for his/her child than you! I know, our son is adopted. My last words to his birth mother were, "We can never love him more than you do, but we promise to love him as much as you do." |
|
|
|
Post by Amsmom on Apr 22, 2004 7:01:38 GMT -5
WasAMom,
Thank you for your thoughtful, sensitive posts. It was very generous of you to share your very personal story with us. ((((((Hugs to WasAMom))))))
|
|
|
|
Post by aimee30 on Apr 22, 2004 10:36:06 GMT -5
WasAMom, Thank you for sharing. I agree with BBW, you should change your name to "AmAMom"!
{{{{{WasAMom}}}}}
|
|
Anna
Full Member
Posts: 124
|
Post by Anna on Apr 22, 2004 10:47:32 GMT -5
Well i NEVER would have talked to My mom about it! *lol* We just didn't have that type of open relationship!!
But I DID ask the doctor about getting some (mostly for period issues) and he refused to even consider it...
One year later I was preggy with my daughter...
So I guess IF my kids came and asked me about it we would have a LONG SERIOUS talk about it...I would point them to scriptures about waiting...but then I'd probably being a crying mess but would take them for protection... But I PRAY we won't have that discussion...
|
|
