? to women 35 or older

[camismom]

I am SO confused lately...I have a whirlwind of emotions going on in me.

I know that so many things start to happen for us "lucky" women when we reach the age of 35. At 35 our metabolism starts to slow down, estrogen decreases, peri-menopause can start to "kick in" etc, etc. Most of you know I am taking SJW for depression...so far I notice a little change but not like with the Effexor. On SJW I don't notice much "attitude" help but it does make me want to sleep more and sleep better. On Effexor I notice a much better mood but it effects other things that make it hard for me.

On top of that I am dealing with (STILL!) my weight. Even after having the lipo done I am battling weight gain. Though the lipo removed the PFD from the middle that was bulging over my jeans, I am still battling with weight. I have gained another 4 pounds recently. My eating has become somewhat out of control in that I am ALWAYS hungry and I crave sweets. I do pretty good during the day but can sometimes lose it in the evenings. I am exercising a minumum of an hour a day though so I feel I should be seeing something despite the once in a while set-backs. It just seems that no matter how much I exercise or how good I am with my eating I get nowhere, and when I am good and stick to eating "right" I am always hungry!

Four years ago when I first returned to the school district and the job I had prior to my current one, I weighed around 135...I am up to 152 now. The last two weeks I have exercised between an hour and an hour and 15 minutes every day and yet my weight hasn't moved! And it can't be because of muscle gain because my pants aren't fitting any better..in fact some are fitting worse!

What I'm getting at is could this all be peri-menopausal? Should I consult my doctor? In the past couple years I have seen him for depression and the last time I saw him I asked for help with my diet. He prescribed me phentermine. It did suppress my appetite at first but I lost nothing on it. This was all back before the lipo. I know I am nutty when it comes to my weight..obsessed even. but it is important to me. I just don't want to come across as a hypochondriac like my mom but I also don't want to wind up with all the real ailments my mom has. I am not yet 36 and a half. lol My 36th birthday was in March. What do you all think (besides that I am a certified nut job )?

[kstquilter]

christy,
wish i could help you but i have so much weight to lose that i can't imagine sweating it the way you are! are you having unrealistic visions of what you should look like? i mean i played ball all three seasons of high school and still weighed around 135#. so to expect myself to weigh anywhere near that at 47 after two kids, isn't realistic.
i didn't start peri-menopause that early, i'm just getting there now.
i also take effexor and didn't have any luck with sjw. maybe you can find another anti depressant that works.
don't get so hung up the numbers of either your weight or the size of your clothes. our bodies change over the years, even if you weigh the same, it might be distributed differently. my mom barely eats anything and still has a hard time losing weight. she doesn't exercise but takes care of a house and yard by herself as well as her dog.
if you feel good and are healthy, cut yourself some slack and relax a little. you also don't want cami to pick up on any weight issues you have.
i don't mean to minimize your concerns because no one wants to be heavy. i think we just have to look at our own bodies, our age and our health. then let it go.
good luck
karen

[AnneM]

Christy !!

I have to be careful here because I DO know that advice is just NOT really welcome from someone who is simply 'lucky' enough NOT to battle with their weight ... ... (or at least haven't had to yet!) ... which by the way IMHO is due to inherited GENES ... period!! ...

One thing however that really sticks out in my head and makes me CONVINCED how our body has an "ideal weight" is a friend of mine whom I have known for YEARS... she is considerably larger than me (most of the time) but on one occasion a few years ago she dieted and slimmed right down ... OMG !! The sheer BATTLE that poor girl went through to maintain that "lower" body weight was horrendous!! ... She had to eat virtually NOTHING (ie. salads and light meals) to keep that weight down ... simply and purely because her body WANTED to be a "naturally" higher weight ... !! I thought she looked LOVELY at the weight her body wanted to be ... but sadly SHE didn't ... but oh!! the sheer willpower she had to exert to keep down that weight!! Meantime I was and am lucky in the respect that I was able to eat considerably MORE than she did (because again quite honestly I would NOT have that sort of willpower!) and remained slimmer ... purely again IMHO because our bodies "natural weight" (due to our differing genes) differed considerably!!

Now ... turning to the "over 35" and the start of the perimenopause etc.etc..... apparently a "thickening of the waist" is part of all this!! ... and even though I am lucky enough to be slim built that "thickening of the waist" is IMHO a VERY REAL thing!! ... (and I am 46!) ... I don't think we women have a lot of choice on that one!! ... My waist just doesn't go "in" like it used to ... I might still be slim but it feels to me (in the past 3-4 years) as though my waist and hips are "evening out" ... !! How DARE they?? ;D and it also seems that there is NOTHING we can do about that except ACCEPT it (grudgingly!) as part of the ageing process!!

Oh yikes!! I am not being a lot of help ... and again I DO know its so easy for someone who doesn't battle with weight to give totally unwanted advice ...

Christy !! ...

[camismom]

I don't think I am having unrealistic visions because I was there before...just four years ago. Course I do know that I have crossed the wonderful age 35 threshhold in that time. I do admit to being obsessed and needing help though! lol It's just that weight is a big issue with my family...I'm the only one in it that isn't significantly overweight and I don't want to join in. I weighed barely over 100 in high school, ballooned up to about 175 or 180, and lost back to the 135 I was at four years ago. I just get frustrated because I see people older than me that have had more than just one child and they achieve it...I know I am getting older and my metabolism is changing, but my lifestyle isn't. Maybe with age it will get harder to lose, but I am still exercising like a fiend so why am I gaining?

Anyway, I just wonder sometimes with my mom's thyroid problems and all else she has/had could it be that for me, but then I realize that usually comes in the 40's, not 30's.

I know what I really need! I need to be nominated for "What Not to Wear" so I can have Clinton and Stacey show me how to dress myself at the age and weight I am now! ...and be able to afford what they recommend! ;D ;D

oh, and Anne...you are not giving unsolicited advice... I asked for it...so thanks for giving me you honest, heartfelt reply!

[tridlette]

I'm on the other side of the coin from Anne. I am more than 60 lbs. overweight... I weigh as much as I did the day my babies were born... and my youngest will be 11 in a few weeks.

I have battled for ever as well, and at one point I did lose 35 lbs. I am sedentary for the most part, and I had to struggle like crazy to get smaller for a wedding I was in.

I don't think I eat too much, and I am mindful of my calorie intake. But I seem to hover at exactly the same weight forever. So I think Anne might be right about an ideal weight for each person. I KNOW that if I could lose even half of what I am "supposed to" I would feel better, have more energy, my knees wouldn't hurt, etc. etc. etc. BUT...

I am either miserable dieting, or fat and happy. I am at a point in my life where for the first time in 10 years I am not taking anti depressants. And I am mostly happy. So... advice...

Keep doing the best that you can for yourself, don't believe for a single minute that your body is rebelling against your efforts. Your hard work IS paying off... you are holding at a decent, managable weight that is healthy for you. You got rid of the spare tire, and your body is still trying to adjust to the change... give it a little time. Keep exercising...

See the doctor for the emotional adjustments... if sjw isn't working, look further... it is sooooooo easy to feel good, if you find the right meds.

Believe in yourself, and your efforts. Don't give up when you have made such great progress so far!

(actually... make that a little hug... since you are DEFINITELY smaller than me!)

And send me some of the energy so that I can get up and start moving!

[camismom]

Thanks Trid! I need the encouragement because it IS getting harder and harder for me to do. I just work out like crazy and am mindful of everything I put in my mouth and see nothing coming from it so I develop the attitude, "why bother?" As far as energy, I battle it too. Where I USED to not have any problem getting up so early and exercising, now it is a STRUGGLE. After sleeping in the last two days this morning it was soooooo hard to get up. I swear I feel like I could lay in my bed FOREVER and be perfectly happy!

I do feel like, know I do know, my problem is gene related.... I am just determined to beat it! You see my mom was always overweight in her adult years and most of what she has wrong with her could have been prevented if she had exercised and lost weight.

[SKay]

Christy, I have been feeling the exact same way, although I don't exercise as much as you do. I've never been a particularly active person (constant low energy), and exercise is boring to me; I just don't see results fast enough. I have been trying to get a little exercise, though, and I take the stairs to the 3rd floor at work.

I started on SJW on Aug. 11 and haven't seen much difference yet, but I know it could take few weeks. I do know that prescription meds that increase serotonin can also cause weight gain. I don't know about SJW, though.

[camismom]

Well, Skay, we'll just have to be each other's support! As my wise and darling hubby reminded me last night after a long and grueling workout that though I may not be seeing results in the form of Christie Brinkley's figure instead of Christy W's, I am still doing my heart good and that is most important. He also in his sweet way told me that although I'm not as small as I would like to be I am wonderful to him and while I look around jeolously comparing myself to others I see that are more toned and slimmer than I am, that there are still others out there that would be satisified just to be my size. So, anyway, it did remind me what they say about us women never being satisfied..... LOL.....while it helped me to come to the realization that obsessing over it is not changing anything. I decided that I am going to TRY, no promises though, to cut bread out for a while and cut down on sweets (my two biggest weaknesses) and see what happens. Though I get aggravated by my weight I don't see myself ever stopping exercise because I know that it does help keep me healthy.

[Kaiti]

HI Kristy, I avoided this since you put over 35 ;D ;D

No, not over 35, but my family being of the German decent, I'm trying to not have that body type ;D

Like you I am the smallest of the family and fighting like the thingyens to keep it that way. Growing up I was ALWAYS the biggest girl. In 7th grade I was 5'2 and 210lbs. But I wasn't fat persay, it was muscle for the most part. I was solid. I played sports, I was fast.....for a big girl.

Anyhow. Don't worry so as much about the # of lbs, but the fit of the clothes. In high school I was the same weight, give or take 10 lbs, but I started to do aerobics and went down 8 sizes from 9th grade to 12th grade.

Then Tara came along........started to excersize again, got back down to a size I liked and BOOM welcome Mikey. SO I will not TRY to get down to 145 anymore ;DI ain't having another kid ;D

Make sure you drink plenty of water. That is very important, as it helps everything break down in your system And a boost of caffine doesn't hurt either, just don't drink too much or you'll be working against the amount of water you drink.

And I have come to terms that my bones are more then 100 lbs, so I will never be wafer thin even if I wanted to be ;D

Oh if you reach a plateu, try changing up your excersize routine. That's your body's way of saying it is used to what you are doing.

Goodluck, I am right there with ya

[mothercat]

I think I have finally figured out that there is avery fine line between having a weight problem and having weight issues. If your doctor says to lose then you need to worry..if it is an obsession then you need to think about that fact. I for one constantly worry about weight. I am not allowed a scale in the house for a reason. Years ago they called it anorexia..I more or less controlled it way back when but other members of the family didnt. My lil sis is obsessed with her weight and was looking real good ..she wasnt eating and was putting her body thru alot of exercising at the same time. She got help and gained somewhat but the thing is all the extremes helped her to weaken her bone strength. She broke three bones just by jumping rope.
She is also facving hip replacements and is only in her late 30's.
I still want to lose about 15 pounds...I am 5'4 at 119lbs. Bobo says if you feel good, if you can move about without lack of breath(not from tight clothes but from lung space) , if you have energy when you need it, and if you eat healthy foods...then you dont need to worry. Looking in a mirror doesnt count for squat. I still want to lose mainly for health reasons. I wouldnt want to be heavy and get down to where I couldnt walk...plus diabetes runs heavily in the family.

I dont want to be consumed by dieting and looks anymore like the old days. The teens and the early thirties were total h*e*c*k with the mind games over weight.

Cant look 20 forever..havent seen thirty in awhile either! ;D Kinda like I wouldn't want to rush out and do all the flip flops or play tackle football like I used to do either. (unless the other team were guys and looked real hot)
So what I am saying is you actually look good and dont be so worried about it all unlesss it obstructs your health. Numbers mean nothin unless you are going 80 in a 30 with a cop around.

[Linda]

Bobo sounds like a smart man and he is sooo right....If you feel good and we know YOU look good Christy...don't sweat it

[Kaiti]

80 in a 30 ;D ;D

I also don't have a scale, so when I go to my mom's and weigh myself, I try to remember it's not the numbers.

I had read a few years back that for every inch over 5 foot tall, women should tack on 5 lbs and men should tack on 10.....that's not fair, why do they get more allowances

Anyhow, surprizingly, when we all sit out to the club and talk.....well, the guys actually would rather have a girl with meat on her bones then a stick figure......no offense is meant.

Mike is a stick figure, but his metabolism is catching up ;DWhen we first started going out he was a 29x34, now he's up to 32x34

[mothercat]

;D ;D Funny but Bobo says the same thing...some meat to hold on to is a nice thing...and something about a slight jiggle (i dont get that one).

When I met bobo he weighed 130lbs (I weighed 80 on a fat day) Six months later he had gained 40 lbs...now years later he is over 240 and claims to have a great investment in his middle. Alot of good food and liquid enjoyment . He also says he has worked very hard to save it so well. He is a 38x34...Bud is only 15 and is a 38x30..and only 1/3 the way done. Numbers dont really matter... ;D ;D ;D .

I still weigh at my moms too...just dont tell Bobo...but the days of 80-90 pounds are over forever. ;D ;D
Especially after the kid thing...shoot I couldn't hold my 357's if I was still that little ...and Cecil the snake might mistake me for his dinner... ;D ;D

[camismom]

You guys are doing a great job of making me feel better! Thank you all for the kind words, understanding, and support. I have been trying not to live by the number AS MUCH, but when my clothes start feeling snugger than normal... what's up? I think my boobs have even gotten a little bigger lately! lol M/C, I hope your lil sis gets better. Though I have had my mom worry when I was a teen about me an anorexia, believe me, I like to eat and could never go there. It's just for me....and please noone take this wrong and try to understand since it's hard to explain....my "looks" were all I had growing up so I worry I guess more than I should about losing them. You all know I was raised pretty danged poor and so wanted to be popular, to cheer, to be in the "in" crowd and yet my mom couldn't afford to put me in anything extracurricular. My good grades, singing, and "pretty face" is what got me noticed back then. I watched my brother get lots of attention for things he excelled in and of course for being the only boy, I watched my younger sis get showered with attention for her learning problems. Then along came Wendy (my half sis I wasn't raised with but the one of my dad's three he DID raise) who was in EVERYthing. She was a cheerleader, on the gymnastics team, on the softball team, yet when we went places together I was the one the guys noticed and secretly it meant the world to me! So though I know I can't look like the teen I once was forever, I'll fight it til the bitter end! And Kaiti, you are so right about the men too! Andy ain't quite the skinny man I married anymore either. Course when I met him he had lost quite a bit of weight from the loss of his mom. He had just turned 30 and now he's facing 41 next month! I love him just the same, so I guess I can see him doing so with me!

Oh well, I guess we can just sum this all up by saying, "It's hell getting older!"

[Kaiti]

I'm pretty much happy if I am proportionate. 10" difference between the bust and waist, and 10" difference between the waist and hips.

Doesn't matter as long as they grow and shrink at the same rate.

Mike says he needs a handle :oOh and I still get into wresting matches with Mike at the club, we'll go back and forth.

Gets the adrenaline going. Especially if some one decides to be smart and chase me with a snake or a lizard........not a pretty site after that