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Post by TexasMom on Nov 19, 2003 22:43:58 GMT -5
I think everyone is right about your neighbors. There isn't really anything you can do right now. Just keep in mind that people move all the time... ;D My son recently started counseling for depression because he was bullied by kids at school. He took some fill in the blank tests to determine this, and now he and the doctor are going to talk about how to handle bullies. As to your daughters sexual activies, I'm not so sure they're not age appropriate. I remember playing doctor with some neighbor boys when I was about the same age.  Your daughter has such a bad reputation, I don't think she would have half a chance. It would probably be better to have her play at your house exclusively |
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Post by Dad2Brooke on Nov 19, 2003 22:47:04 GMT -5
Thanks again for all the advice to everybody, I am looking for a therapist for Brooke. Also, thanks to mommyclaire and eaccae for their advice to interview them first to make sure they are compatible to Brooke. I hadn't even thought of that.
The neighbors can cluck their tongues all they want. I tried and that all I can do.
Tonight, I picked up Brooke and told her we weren't gonna worry about homework, or anything else. I bought her Krispy Kreme donuts (her favorite) for dessert. I told her to pick a movie (and prayed it wouldn't be Barbie or Willy Wonka.) She picked Rudolph the Rednosed Reindeer, and Brooke, mommy and I snuggled on the sofa and ate popcorn.
It's all good ;D ;D
Just had to figure out what was important.
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MommaToFive
Full Member
With God all things are possible!!
Posts: 113
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Post by MommaToFive on Nov 19, 2003 23:54:05 GMT -5
Ralph, I have to tell you that when I was reading your post I was tearful...  I so understand your struggle and your feelings. I am so right there with you. I can tell you that I think Brooke is a very very very lucky little angel to have you as her dad. You are a treasure!!! It is so evident that you love that little girl and that love is what will help her through all this bump in the road and all the bumps to come! I can tell you from personal experience that therapy can be a valuable tool for you all. It is something that I cannot imagine being without. We are ourselves in a very difficult place right now and I am so looking forward to going to therapy. My son goes alone and I go alone then we go together. ;D I want you to know that my thoughts and prayers are with you, Brooke, and with Mom. This is a hard place to be in but as you said you have to take a moment sometimes to remember what is really important. And I think the quiet time tonight was exactly what the doctor ordered. Always remember you are never alone in this fight!! We are all here for you!! You are never judged here <neither is Brooke> and we all understand the roller coaster ride our lives are and will be!! Hang in there hun!! Erin |
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Post by rosyred45 on Nov 20, 2003 12:55:46 GMT -5
I can't say I know where you are at this stage, but know that you and your family are in my Prayers.
Kaiti
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Post by Dad2Brooke on Nov 20, 2003 13:44:09 GMT -5
Again, thank you all for your prayers and thoughts. They really help. All the positive energy must have surrounded me as I slept, because I woke up clearly knowing what I must do. I started at the bus stop the morning. I asked all the parents to stick around after the bus left. I apologized for the way I went about it yesterday, and told them that we all wanted the same thing; none of us wants our children hurt, physically or emotionally. We all stood out in the cold talking for an hour about Brooke and their children. Many parents were supportive. All had concerns about their own children, but I let them know what I was doing and what I am planning to do. I told them that in order to effect a change in Brooke's behavior, I need to know what she is doing. I thought that hitting wasn't an issue, because I haven't heard about it since this summer. Turns out she has been hitting their kids on the bus when they won't sit with her or play with her. Now I know and can get her help for that issue. The "sexual" issue was talked about. I asked if any of them had played doctor as a child. Yes, they said and even told me that their kids had played doctor. But the concern is that Brooke continues say and do inappropriate things of a sexual nature. I assured them that I would get her counseling for that as well. (if neccessary) One parent said her niece has ADHD, that she understands that it is real. (That helped, coming from her, not me.) She also applauded me for supporting Brooke and not giving up and plugging away, even when it hasn't been an easy time. ;DShe also said I was very brave to come back and try again with them.;D ;D Almost all of the parents thought that the letter was cold and impersonal  and thought that I should have come to them personally. I told them that I never meant for it to sound that way. I just had a lot to say and thought that by writing it down I could say it all without getting sidetracked. I also said that the letter was meant to open a dialog. Everybody was OK with my explanation. Bottom line, we all agreed that we make sure that if anything happened, I would be told immediately. We would all talk to our kids. If they start playing together again it would always be supervised. Some parents are hesitant, they want to see improvement first. I can live with that. Brooke, my wife, and I have a lot of work to do. It isn't over yet, but there is hope. ;D I also do not expect the sun to shine and all be well in the cul-de-sac, but there is hope. ;D I am so glad I did not give up on this. "You can only go as far as you push." |
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Post by Jorgy on Nov 20, 2003 14:07:13 GMT -5
:DI am soo glad for you all. As you say it is a start in the right direction. You all continue in my prayers, Sue
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Post by AnneM on Nov 20, 2003 14:27:36 GMT -5
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Post by eaccae on Nov 20, 2003 14:42:45 GMT -5
Brooke is very lucky to have such wonderful, loving and supportive parents! Way to go, Ralph!!!
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Post by gabrielsmom on Nov 20, 2003 15:59:04 GMT -5
Way to go Ralph !!!! You have more courage in your pinky than I have in my entire body!!!!  |
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Post by Dad2Brooke on Nov 20, 2003 22:46:53 GMT -5
Way to go Ralph !!!! You have more courage in your pinky than I have in my entire body!!!!  |
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Post by LitlBaa on Nov 21, 2003 2:39:41 GMT -5
I'll keep you guys in my prayers! Hang in there, it will work out.
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MommaToFive
Full Member
With God all things are possible!!
Posts: 113
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Post by MommaToFive on Nov 21, 2003 9:01:02 GMT -5
That is wonderful news Ralph!! Way to go!!!!
I am so glad to hear that you were able to talk to them! I gope all smooths out soon.. I will continue to pray for you all!!
Erin
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Kymn
Member
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Post by Kymn on Nov 21, 2003 10:32:23 GMT -5
I've been gone for a week and I just read this whole thread and I must say I am so proud of you and your wife.What a lucky little girl you really make the term unconditional love come to life.I will continue to pray for you and your family.Do you have any other kids so I can add them to my prayers.
Kymn
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Post by Dad2Brooke on Nov 21, 2003 14:49:47 GMT -5
Do you have any other kids so I can add them to my prayers. Kymn , thank you for your prayers, and kind words. Brooke is our only child, but she fills our world. ;D |
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Post by Dad2Brooke on Nov 22, 2003 15:38:01 GMT -5
Update, and sorry it took me so long.
I have an appointment for Brooke, Dec 15th, with a Ped Psychiatrist. I plan to meet with him prior to the appointment and have his fax number so I can send him a letter (Hehe, I love my letters don't I ;D) about all of the issues beforehand. Then I can meet with him and get a feel about him before I let him talk to Brooke.
Yesterday morning at the bus stop, things went smooth, most of the children talked to Brooke and they played a game of tag before the bus came.
Brooke was it, (Seems like she is always it, maybe she runs slower and is an easy target) and one of the girls actually slowed down a little so Brooke could tag her. (I don't think Brooke noticed, but I sure did ;D)
Brooke was nice and polite. (We had a real long talk the night before about the Golden Rule and again in morning before going to the the bus stop.)
Today, Brooke is spending the day with Grandma (Thank God for Grandmas ;D) So I talked to more neighbors that I missed on Thursday.
All in all, everyone seems to understand a little better about Brooke and what she is going through. Most of the neighbors seem willing to let Brooke play with their children, but everyone wants supervision. I couldn't agree more.
I am saying my prayers and crossing my fingers that this keeps up. ;D
Again, I can not thank all the people on this board for thier support and prayers. I went from as low as I have ever been to feeling better about this situation than I have in a long time, and I owe a huge debt of gratitude to all of you. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
In the words of gabrielsmom,
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~~~~Erin~~~~ 
