TEACHERS don't "get it"!

[Eye]

We went to a conference with the counselor yesterday for our son. It went well. They are going to test him, to make sure he doesn't need "special ed". They don't think he does, but it's proceedure. Then in a month we'll get back together, and they will come up with an Individual Education Plan. Basically pin-point the subjects he's needing help in and either put him in a special class where there are less students, and more one-on-one time with the teacher. Or get him a tutor..... I'm really glad it's all coming together.

I still can't stand his teacher though! She's such a PAIN! She actually sat there staring off in space during the meeting, kind of like she was trying NOT to roll her eyes over the whole thing. Then as she was leaving, she had a class.. She says," I just wanted to tell you both, He is improving in turning his work in on time, but it's the little things, that are the problem. For example, the other day the kids had to do a graph. And there were 4 that didn't have names on them. I put them on the chalk board for the kids to claim them. I was doing the quarter end grades, and he hadn't turned in a graph. He insisted he DID do the graph. And I said, you didn't turn it in. Then he told me it was one of the ones on the board. And I told him, if you knew it was on the board, why didn't you bring it to me and tell me. I told him think about what makes sense. It doesn't make sense..."

My husband asked her,"Just out of curiousity, did you know which one was his?" And she say's,"Yes, I knew which one, of course, but that's not the point."

I'm thinking, ok, I understand her point, but does she "get" what ADHD is? I don't think so. Our son has to be explained from beginning to end the process. You can't give him generic instructions. Ya know? Like, go clean your room. You have to say, go pick up your clothes, put your toys away, and make your bed. You know what I mean?

Also, why does she want to make it so hard for somebody that already struggling? Seriously! Most teachers I had would have said, "Hey, your name's not on this, help me out!" Ya know?

OH! So frustrating!! I'm just hoping that the teachers next year will help us out a little!! I really think the teacher is the problem here!

AND I think the counselors "get it" too! Cuz After she left, one asked me if our son has had these problems all thru the years, and I said to some extent, but only this bad this year. And I explained that I think the teachers have been a little more helpful. She totally understood.... So, I just can't wait til he's out of her room!!!!!

Are we the only ones with a teacher like this, or am I whining about something that's inevitable?

[rosyred45]

OHHHHHHHHH DOn't worry, your not the only one. We went through some of that last year and Mikey was only in Kindergarten. I can't say it is or isn't inevitable, but I think based off of our experiences, it's half and half, so far.

Mikey's teacher this year is SO helpful in trying ot pull up info for us concerning different technical stuff, and I have been doing the same for her. I tell her what works at home to get things done and if she can incorporate it, she has.

She has also opened my eyes to his vision and stuff. He wears glasses because of an lazy eye, but she pulled up info for visual perseption. I'm still trying to grasp everything, but we are working on it.

She wants to set up a 504 for next year so that he CAN have accomidations made for him and she has been successful in what she has tried so far this year without any accomodations. She told me the other day she knows that it is in there, it's just a matter of figuring out how to get it out at the right time.

Don't worry, my favorite expression for the next 20 yrs will be
YOU ARE NOT ALONE
Kaiti

[Kimmers]

I made the mistake before school started of "warning" my 6 yo son's Kindergarten teacher about his ADHD/ODD. My reasoning behind this was to give her a heads up so that she could ask him quietly a few minutes before the rest of the class that they would be switching activities...or so that she could keep him sitting by other kids who don't already have trouble staying on task to avoid distraction...or to give him some extra time to complete assignments...you get the point.

It was the worst thing I think I could have ever done. His teacher basically picks him out of the class all the time as the troublemaker, she does absolutely nothing when he is the one getting picked on by the others, she doesn't help him out with extra time or switching assignements like I had hoped for, nothing. If he has problems, he is just labeled as uncooperative. He is even sitting at a table where the girl next to him talks non-stop and the boy across from him is always either falling off of his chair or getting up to look at what the others at the table are doing! What the ** ?!?

I am with you, I feel that my son's teacher is the problem. I understand he has issues but she is doing nothing to help him or make his life in school any easier, even after I set this all right in her lap. It is so frustrating to me! My son complains about school all the time and doesn't want to go just because she makes his life miserable.

Sorry to vent but this topic strikes a bad cord with me!

I can't offer any help or advice because I am in the same boat but I wanted to let you know that yes, teachers CAN and often are the butt of the problem. I know next year I am not breathing a word about my son's problems. If she confronts me about specifics then I will offer all the info. in the world but I guess I have learned a hard lesson about getting my son labeled!

Take care!
Kimmers

[camismom]

Teachers today are a sore subject with me... I am a firm believer that the type year your child will have depends on the type of teacher they have. It has been my experience that there are good ones, and bad ones, and no in between. You have the unlucky draw of a bad one this year. My dd is in 6th grade and we have had more good than bad, but boy, the years with the bad ones are soooooo long and the ones that stick in your mind the most. Hang in there, as the end is approaching (only a few more months), keep out your pointy hat and don't back down. Get everything done you can this year so it'll be in place for next (just in case) and as I always say, remember you are not alone!

[rosyred45]

Oh I had to come back, and as I did and read through Kimmers I started to cry. That was us last year. The teacher did nothing but pick, pick, pick. Even after Mikey had gone to the principal's office for, are you ready for this one...
:oSTICKING HIS FINGER IN ANOTHER CHILDS KETCHUP

Expel the Rebel Darn it!!
Thank fully the principal has a son who was dx'ed, he was 19 last year. If I started to cry she would cry because she said she was in my shoes 10 yrs before. That made me feel a little better, but the teacher was an absolute dumba** I'm sorry for that but she can't handle kids like I thought she could. I found her weakness. ;D
As long as the kids sit like zombies and do everything that she says when she says, she's a great teacher, really she is, BUT when they don't, um, it's not pretty.

Oh, I guess that's enough for now
Kaiti

[LitlBaa]

Pick pick pick was fourth grade for us. I spent a great deal of time and energy picking back at the teacher till he finally toned it down. Of course by then every teacher at the elementary school knew Katie "had issues" and her mother was "difficult".

Junior high was a different ball game. I only told her Academic Block teacher about her ADHD, not the others. He started picking, I picked right back, we seem to have come to an understanding. I'll be glad when this year is over!

[TexasMom]

It was Steven's third grade teacher for us, the one that was the teacher the year before he was dx'd. All she was concerned about was if Steven wrote his assignments down in his assignment book. He couldn't do anything right. She sent him to the principal for popping a cellopane bag in the valentines day party.

[rosyred45]

TexasMom, was he sitting next to mine for the ketchup thing. Lets see, I was just going through my papers and reports about Mikey, let me find another good one

Oh, well, this one isn't that great because Mikey kicked someone, BUT the teacher ALWAYS swore he lied to her.
My son might make up stories, but when asked point blank, he won't lie to me :
"Michael kicked a second grader and then tried to lie and say the second grader told him to do it."

UM, my daughter was in this other kids class with 5 others standing around that heard the little boy tell Mikey to kick him.

No wonder I don't like that teacher any more, shame I have to work around her.
Kaiti

[Madison]

Hi,
I found your posts interesting reading. I've found out that a kid can act like a MONKEY in class and do all kinds of stuff and if they are tested to be SMART they DON'T worry about this child. They MIGHT complain, etc, etc but that child has NO WORRIES! If your child is GOOD acting but a SLOW LEARNER or tests low that child THEY worry about!! There's a little boy in my girls class that is TOTALLY OFF THE WALL they can't get him to complete his assignments/do homework/sit in his seat, etc, etc but that child can READ anything put in front of him and math skills are excellent! My child is LD disorder and even though she GOOD in class she's the one they WORRY about! The teacher slightly compared them and told me "That boy in class will be just fine and will move on but my child is the one they really have to worry about." Maybe if your child is basically SMART there really isn't a worry.

take care...madison

[Allanque]

Guess how alla fell through the cracks? Anyone? C'mon!

Yeah. She was smart enough that she could get at least Bs almost all the time. Bah. Silly teachers.

[Denise110]

Yep I know how you feel My dd has that teacher this year for 1st grade and last year for kindergarden until I had her moved.

At the first of this school year we were still in the process of try to find the right med and dose.
First conference: The teacher said my dd wasn't doing good at all she was way behind all the other kids. I told her we were still working on the med part. I thought maybe she might have some learning dissabilities. I asked if there were some good computer programs that might help her learn better. Her reply was yes, but she didn't think that was a good idea, because she needed to learn how to sit still and learn the work on her own. Not with flashing lights and sound you know stuff that would make it interesting to learn. I said ya but the whole point is her learning. I don't care how she does it just so long as she does.

Me and my husband have talked to the principal about her. My husband told her he thinks my dd's teacher has a problem. The principal told my husband that this teachers students has had the highest test score for the last ten years.
We'll good for her! This told me right there all she was interested in was keeping up her rep. That my dd wouldn't have a chance at some compasion.

[TexasMom]

Anymore all the schools care about are the test scores. If a kid is smart and can pass the tests, they don't worry about him, but if your kid has problems, they worry...

[Eye]

Ok, guys, I need your opinion!! A friend of mine at work, after hearing the above story, told me I should file a grievance... He feels that this has gone on too long, considering the level of my son's self esteem... The way we have been treated is unwarrented, and he feels that we have waited too long and should take action now...

My feeling is that maybe we should wait until the education plan is in place, give it a chance, and see what happens. He said it sounds to him like the teacher is hindering his learning experience by being petty. And it should stop NOW! No matter that there is only one quarter left.

Any thoughts?

[rosyred45]

Eye,
Could you refresh my memory on your child? With my son, we are evaluating at about the same, start something next year, BUT the teacher in our case is going beyond what she has to since there is nothing on paper in place.

I love my son's teacher this year, why can't he keep her til he gets done graduate school?
Kaiti

[Kimmers]

I had to laugh at the finger in the ketchup because my son got sent to the pricipal's office for throwing a snowball. I understand it probably isn't a good idea because someone could possibly get hurt but...he lost 3 recesses because of this. Now come on, all they had to do was tell him, hey don't do it again and then if he did, well then punish him. No mercy at all!

Our school also had a contest to see which class could collect the most "Boxtops for Education." The winner won a "party" with popcorn, candy and other treats. Well my son's class won and the party is today. This morning he informed me that he would only get popcorn today because he only had 11 stickers and you had to have 15 or more to get everything. He also said there were others that wouldn't get certain things either. Now what strikes me as TOTALLY unfair is 1. the whole class participated in the contest so why the h*ll are they being limited according to behavior on what they get to have and 2. my son informed me that one of his stickers was taken away earlier this week because he didn't know what to do on one of his assignments. I didn't get all the details but I can imagine my son was talking trying to figure out what he was supposed to do and she figured he was just talking to be a pain. I know my son lies sometimes but I can tell when he is lying and he was truly upset about this.

They're EVIL I tell you!

Kimmers