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Post by Kimmers on Mar 12, 2004 15:05:49 GMT -5
I forgot to add, my husband dropped out of school when he was a junior in high school because of teachers like my son's this year. They kept picking him out all the time because he has some mild learning disabilities in reading and english-type subjects. They made his life so miserable that he finally said the h*ll with it and quit. Now I'll be d**ned if I'm gonna let some moron teacher do that to my little boy!  Kimmers |
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Post by mskris on Mar 12, 2004 15:18:56 GMT -5
Kiimmers:
You're absolutely right about the behavior/party issue. The party was a reward for box tops, not for behavior. The two are unrelated. If it was me, I'd have gone with my kid to school and called the teacher on it. At least he wasn't the only one.
As for Eye's issue, I'm not sure you really have enough for a grievance. That's pretty serious. What I suggest is that you start documenting time/events and keep a log. If they start to really add up, especially after you get the 504 or IEP in place, THEN you have grounds to file a grievance.
I also wonder why some of these people go into teaching; they obviously don't like kids and don't have any compassion for others. I guess to them it's just a power trip...
I will definitely question punishments that I consider unfair. Luckily, ds hasn't had any issues of this type. He is on a behavior modification plan, but it is more of an "awareness" campaign than anything else - we don't punish, and I occasionally reward. Mostly just praise for efforts in controlling himself. It has helped.
One thing: I never punish at home for something that happened at school. I think whatever punishment they got at school was enough.
Kris
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Post by Kimmers on Mar 12, 2004 15:29:58 GMT -5
I agree with not punishing at home for school events-
However, the letter I got sent home from the principal after the snowball incident actually had a list of punishments that you were to give your child or else to fill in one of your own. First of all, I think losing 3 recesses for a snowball is way too excessive, let alone something else on top of it! And second of all, I don't think it is the school's place to say when and how I discipline my child. I think that is my own decision to make. Maybe I am a softy but I guess that is the way I feel.
And Eye, as unfortunate as it is, I think maybe people like us should just cut our losses and look forward to the fact that we only have a few more months of this to endure!
Kimmers
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Eye
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Post by Eye on Mar 13, 2004 9:26:28 GMT -5
;D RALMAO @ Kimmers!! "They're evil I tell you!"
Too funny!!
Thanks for all your advice guys! I appreciate it!
You know what? I my kid's school EVER told me how to discipline MY kids, I'd go off!!! My neighbors next door are so fed up, they're thinking about home schooling next year! Me, I don't have the patience, but if she does it, maybe I can squeeze MY kids in with her's! Heck, she's got 9 of her own, she probably won't notice 3 more, ya think? LOL!
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Post by rosyred45 on Mar 13, 2004 10:40:55 GMT -5
I have been debating about the homeschooling thing, but I don't think it would ever come to fruitation BECAUSE I will call any teacher on anything any more. I have finally doned the hat and broom enough times that I have talked to the teachers about kids in my program. Of course I have talked to the parents first to make sure it was ok, and I wasn't over stepping bounds. They've told me to go ahead if I think I can get through to them. I've made recommendations on what I have personally seen and done. I know that there have been a few accomadations made. I have had more of an effect on the teachers that have just gotten into it. than I have on ones that are set in their ways, and vice versa. I have made it a point to converse regularly with the teachers I know have had success with children with abilities. Mind you I didn't put the "dis" in there. Everyone was put on God's Green Earth for a purpose. Just because it doesn't conform to anyones "norms" doesn't mean there isn't an ability in that body. Some are good at math, some science, some at getting people to open up, interacting with other children.... And the list goes on. OK, sorry, novel done for now  Kaiti |
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Post by camismom on Mar 15, 2004 10:09:56 GMT -5
Eye,
IMPO, I agree with your friend. File that grievance. No matter there is only a quarter left. the teacher needs to learn he/she can't treat students that way and get away with it. Do it for next year's kids (and parents).
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Post by jdmom on Mar 15, 2004 12:08:05 GMT -5
Okay, I have TO DISAGREE here! My child has no problems with the school work. He is probably gifted, but they will not test until 3rd grade (stupid rule). His teacher is constantly telling me how smart he is. She is also constantly harping on me about how he will not shut up, sit down, and pay attention. He is on meds and she knows it and I'm sick and tired of having notes come home with the question " Did Jarrett have his meds today?"
I told her from the beginning about his ADHD. That was probably a mistake. I will not tell his teacher next year, though I'm sure that she'll hear it through the grapevine. He is not a discipline problem. He has never been mean to other kids or disrespectful towards her. He is just hyper. Get over it. Deal with it.
Please don't think that because my child is not slow that he doesn't get hounded by the teachers. Exactly opposite. "We expect so much MORE out of Jarrett." If you immediately get the upper hand with Jarrett, you and he will do fine. That's why I told his teacehr about the ADHD. I explained punishment has to be consistant. Do not threaten punishment and not follow through. She lets him run the little errands that come up and understands he is energetic. However, I'm tired of the red notes coming home because he is singing in class, or wandering around the room, or complaints that his work is so sloppy because he won't take the time to form his letters neatly. When he does homework, I make sure he writes neatly and sits in his seat and doesn't sing. If she can't control his behaivor in the classroom, I can't help her.
It's like the school expects me to punish him every time he brings home a bad note (2-3 days a week). I do what I can at home. If he gets a bad grade, due to sloppiness, he has to erase the entire paper and redo it neatly. I will not punish him for singing in class or wandering around the room.
So please don't think that the ADHD gifted kids have it lots better than the ones who are not gifted. It is entirely untrue. If anything, people are more exapserated at his behaivor because as his teacher told me "He is smart enough to know better". Whatever that means.
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Post by rosyred45 on Mar 15, 2004 12:34:52 GMT -5
I do love the smart enough to know better thing. Oh, If I could only tell you how many times I have heard that. Can't say as I blame you for being miffed. I would be too, that was ALL last year.
I also love the "if he'd think about it....." Nine times out of ten the impulsiveness is what gets him introuble.
Thank goodness this year, his teacher is VERY patient and redirects. The only time I hear anyhing is it is THAT bad of a day.
Kaiti
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Eye
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Post by Eye on Mar 15, 2004 13:10:29 GMT -5
My favorite teacher of all time was his 3 and 4th grade teachers!! She had two sons who were in their teens at the time. But they BOTH had ADHD, AND the oldest had terets(sp?). TALK ABOUT AN UNDERSTANDING TEACHER!!! LOL!
It's gotta get better right?
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Post by rosyred45 on Mar 15, 2004 13:16:43 GMT -5
Thankfully our Principals son was ADHD, so I am counting my blessing where I can.
Kaiti
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Post by Kimmers on Mar 16, 2004 9:52:45 GMT -5
If I had a $1,000 for everytime I have gotten a note home for "talking during quiet time" I would be able to retire. I thought I was the only one is completely peeved about that. Why can't they send home notes that say, "did a great job reading today." Hello?! Would that be so hard?!
Kimmers
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Post by rosyred45 on Mar 16, 2004 10:02:19 GMT -5
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Post by Kimmers on Mar 17, 2004 9:47:30 GMT -5
Not even close!  Kimmers |
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Post by mskris on Mar 22, 2004 14:59:56 GMT -5
I agree with not punishing at home for school events- However, the letter I got sent home from the principal after the snowball incident actually had a list of punishments that you were to give your child or else to fill in one of your own. First of all, I think losing 3 recesses for a snowball is way too excessive, let alone something else on top of it! And second of all, I don't think it is the school's place to say when and how I discipline my child. I think that is my own decision to make. Maybe I am a softy but I guess that is the way I feel. And Eye, as unfortunate as it is, I think maybe people like us should just cut our losses and look forward to the fact that we only have a few more months of this to endure! Kimmers I TOTALLY AGREE!!! I can't believe they'd send home a form like that - I think I'd have written a nasty response right across it. I'm good at writing, not so good at confrontation in person! LOL... Kris |
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Zotz
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Post by Zotz on Mar 31, 2004 0:16:25 GMT -5
This whole thread is making me so angry and tearful. I'm a lurker, but I've had it with my child's teacher. My child and I were doing just fine in another state, but the jobless and matching economy screwed everything up. Now, we've moved, we're settled, and the schools are different. He's in the gifted class, so they "expect more" and yet I'm pretty darn sure he's ADD (Attention and mildly Impulsive). He does great in his gifted class, because it's organized (project based, not a billion instructions, etc) differently and more "open-ended" than his other class. Problem is, his main teacher for Reading and Writing and English is the only serious problem. The other teachers dont' have all this trouble! "They're preparing them for middle school, so they can't play these games, Mom." That's BS, and on the third "Mom" I get from an adult at this or any other school, someone's getting an earful. Very condescending. I'm so fed-up with these teachers. I'm a single mom, I'm my child's secretary, and I'm sick of having a teacher making the problem WORSE. What is their GOAL? Are they trying to ensure these children hate school? Are they trying to ensure teachers down the road have it more difficult with the same "teacher damanged child"? Screw that. So many of these problems in this thread I've experienced, and it makes me teary to read them. Like ripping off a bandaid, over and over and over and over. My child was coaxed into saying in front of other adults by this teacher that he "chooses" not to do things. When asked in front of the doctor about that statement, the Dr. totally drilled down into it. Child (he's a 4th grader, btw) said abotu 10% of the time he chooses not to do something, and 90% he totally doesn't get it. He doesn't hear instructions, he doesn't realize things are passed to him for a reason. So, now this teacher is implying he's just bad, he gets in trouble for things left and right and if his schoolwork isn't perfect, then give the boy a 0. IF he doesn't enter everything he Reads into his Reading Log, then send home nasty notes indicating he's not reading. Everybody knows he reads anywhere from 500-1000 pages at the 9th grade level. But, by God, he didn't enter on the Reading Log. Wonder Why? He doesn't have the Reading Log on him. So is he not supposed to read? Does she really think I'm going to let her damage his love for reading? No. She can make his 4th grade year difficult, but in the end, he'll move on. And, when he does, I'll make sure he still loves to read and loves to learn. Whether she likes it or not. Gee, I'm aggravated just a bit, can you tell? (Hi, by the way.) And the background info is that I'm a single mom with a 10 year boy that is in the process of being diagnosed. He had his first appoinment last week with a really great (but new to us) doctor. Just waiting on the teachers to fill out some forms first. And, in the end, it probably won't help with anything with this teacher. But, it's a start. And, since they are preparing these children for middle school, they won't make any modifications unless necessary. EVen a simple matter of Checking His Agenda Every Day Before He Leaves The Building is too difficult. Let's ignore that he's never used textbooks before this year, never had billions of worksheets, and never had an agenda. ARGH!!!! I need to go to bed.  |
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