lofo
Member
Posts: 47
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Post by lofo on Jan 8, 2004 10:02:35 GMT -5
Rosyred,
Be careful with the statement God won't give you any more than what you can handle. That only works if you are relying on His word for your daily bread, meeting with him daily in prayer to seek His will for your life, and on top of it all "living it out not just taking it in."
Someone who does not have faith in God would surely "get MORE than they can handle "because they never give their problems to Him in prayer to let Him deal with them. Or they may know His desire from scripture and choose opposingly.
I didn't mean to preach, I just know some say this out of context and apply to everyone.
Lori
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Post by rosyred45 on Jan 8, 2004 10:23:51 GMT -5
That's ok, don't worry about the preaching, I do see where you are coming from.
My fault in blanketing, sometimes it just takes others to open the eyes. I usually assume too far, one of my drawbacks. But I do believe that for me personally.
Kaiti
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Post by ohmama on Jan 8, 2004 23:19:22 GMT -5
I didn't have any social skills as a child. I didn't want any. I still don't. You guys are the only ones I get along with. I don't understand how or why people make small talk. I don't know how to do that. I'm still a social misfit. I guess that's how I like it. I think to be social you have to care about what other people think. I've never found much value in that. When I say "I don't care what other people think" .... Though I am open to reason I will not be swayed by popular opinion just because it may be the majority. Therefore I will not be bullied or intimidated. I feel all of this goes along with having principals based on a careful search of what is true and worth standing for. That I care for those in my family cannot be disputed since I have given the last 10 years of my life to my adopted children. I fought long and hard with several court room scenes that felt like something out of a horror movie. Many thought I should have walked away and not gone through with it as my boys were thought to be damaged beyond repair. Even my husband apposed it. I knew what I had to do and didn't care what people thought. You see I care about people, I just don't care what they think. I have been a fighter all my life. I don't know how else to be. It has grown to suit me and I recognize this does not appeal to a lot of people. I love to help people. In doing so I have often felt I got more out of it than they did. My children and I volunteer regularly and are involved in a local community service to help others less fortunate. I believe it is important to teach by actions. I want them to be fighters. I don't care if society accepts them. They will learn to accept themselves no matter how severe they are afflicted. One of the few things that touches my heart is when someone is kind. It catches me off guard once in a while. I have seen it here a lot. You people accept me on my terms. Even though I am a social misfit. |
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Post by rosyred45 on Jan 9, 2004 6:22:48 GMT -5
ohmama, y'all can come over here and join our group of social misfits for dinner anytime. Then we can all sit on my front porch and wave to everyone like total loonies.
I understand what you mean now. You'd fit in right at my house. We're the ones with all of the kids sitting on the porch, you know the ones. Whenyou ride by, your hoping to hurry and lock your door w/out them seeing you just in case they jump up. I consider all of the kids that hang at my house MINE. They know that they need to behave, I do know their parents!! We've had to tone them down a bit, but they are great kids!!!
I give you all of the credit in the world for adopting the "damaged beyond repair" boys. I bet they have the most love to share. I have had the fortune to have a boy in my program last year, actually there were 3 of them. They were the sweetest kids. 9yr, 11yr, and 12 yr. They aren't there this year, and while the program is quieter, I miss them, no matter how many times I wanted to scream.
Oh well, thanks for the explanation. My husband, me and my kids welcome you w/open arms to our misfit haven!!hehe
Kaiti
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Post by mom2tj on Jan 9, 2004 9:40:40 GMT -5
I still to this day dont have many friends I have low selfesteem and no matter how much I tell myself I'm worthy, the voice inside me keep creaping up telling me I'm not good enough or pretty enough. I was teased as a girl (I was fat and very shy) it affects us for live!
That is probably why I take it so hard when I see DS having the same problems. DS & I when to therapy last summer, it helped for a while but we are now back to friendless I dont know what to do..... he learn to be considerate and he does not seem to have low selfesteem, he is far from fat and is not shy at all, he seem oblivious to what is happening he doesnt see the friends stearing clear or making excuses not to play with him yet they play with others...... he is so immature poor thing I dont know how to make him grow up....
Dh had lots of friends, still does I love to here him talk about his childhood I wish DS could have that.
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Post by LitlBaa on Jan 10, 2004 0:40:45 GMT -5
After Katie was born, I made the decision that she wasn't going to be moved from school to school, that I would find a place with a good school and keep her in it, no matter what. We moved to this house the summer before she started kindergarten, she was in the same elementary school through sixth grade, she's now at the junior high down the street, and she feels like she belongs here. She knows where she's from, and I still don't know how to answer that question.
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Post by rosyred45 on Jan 10, 2004 6:16:46 GMT -5
mom2tj, I was there, and sometimes feel like I am. I make myself more personable. Sometimes I want to crawl in a shell and cry. When I can't, I put on the best fake smile I can and try not to let things get to me. After a while, I feel better. I finally learned. Keep on smiling, it'll make everyone else wonder what your up to. I guess that's how I've been for the past few years in others eyes. I fake it, but after all is said and done, in the end it wasn't so fake afterall. Some people need a smile. It's free, it's contagious. Try it.  Did it work? Kaiti |
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Post by ohmama on Jan 10, 2004 11:10:47 GMT -5
Kaiti,
We are what we pretend to be. When I think of you I see a smile.
Mom to tj,
I think you are quite wonderful. I hope some day soon you will realize this is not idle flattery. You are just as good as anybody else. I'm sure your son knows this, just look into his eyes it's probably written on his face. Most people if they are honest can count only on one hand the number of "true friends" they really have. You have a husband and son who love you for starters. That's more than a lot of people.
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Post by rosyred45 on Jan 10, 2004 11:34:14 GMT -5
Thank you ohmama, I have to smile. Like I said makes other people wonder what you are up to!!!  mom2tj: did that work yet? I agree with ohmama not very many people have a husband and son to count on for love. Take a moment and spy on TJ and Christpoher playing. Don't let them see you. Just watch their eyes. Of course this has to be done when they are playing nicely. I think my kids are best friends. They are very close and inseperable. Sometimes I worry that they will regret being so close, like loosing other friends, but watching them separately and then together, I don't have anyhting to worry about (YET). |
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Post by AnneM on Jan 11, 2004 13:39:42 GMT -5
when you were a child (or for your child today) what helped boost social skills and friendship making? 1mom I would consider myself a little shy ... it takes me a while to make a friend - but when I do it has generally been a very lasting friendship ... However, my add husband and my add son are much more fickle (for want of a better word) BUT they are both "people magnets" ... People tend to seek out their company... They get to know people very quickly indeed (unlike me who takes time!) ... BUT they are both guilty of often later neglecting friendships or outright replacing them by other friendships.... My husband is very outgoing and makes people laugh. My son is not as openly outgoing as his father (he must get some of my shyness) ... BUT what he (son) tends to do when making a friend is to apparently find the 'other' person hugely amusing and entertaining ... He makes himself into a very "good audience" ... I believe most people find this a magnet ... anybody who makes them feel that THEY are amusing and witty company is definitely worthy of friendship!!  Husband is more inclined to BE the one who is witty and amusing but BOTH seem to work in making constant and rapid friends which can occasionally go on to make "lasting" friendships... As for me I am more reserved ... I make fewer friends and not such "quick" friends with people than my husband and son ... but I am much more "loyal" to the friendship itself once it is made ... An interesting topic and one that makes you really "think" about our various friendship skills!! As for me |
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Post by mom2tj on Jan 11, 2004 19:48:45 GMT -5
rosyred... Thank you I'll try it... your right smiling is contagious... and yes I thank God for my DH and DS's they make my life worth living Ohmama... again my DS's are my life I am so very gratful they they are my 2 little miracles (God & science) I love them so much... unfortunatly they have such a big age difference that they dont play together T-J will help take care of him give him things and loves his brother so much but he has no one to play with, I wish they would have been closser in age.... this is the way it was ment to be.... |
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Post by finnmom on Jan 12, 2004 12:59:27 GMT -5
Rosyred and Mom2TJ I´am sorry to kind a jump right in the middle of this confersation, but I have to say this: I´ve found both of you, as so many other´s too, so essential to this forum that I should miss you both dearly if you would decide to be quite  you shouldn´t underestimate your skill´s and understanding, other people just often see what they want to and ignore the rest.  (I know it´s very hard to get out of a lifelong pattern of beeing "the shy and lonely, dont get affended, it´s not my meaning) I myself, am often considered as an "open" person a.e. easy to make friend´s. But they are more like people I know and talk with, not my good friend´s. I have one dear friend from my childhood, many "Hello, nice to meet you"-kind of friend´s(accointances?) and I´am happy with this situation, I feel I get enough support, and quite ohnesty I think I wouldn´t be able to maintain any more significant relaisonship´s. ;D this forum, on the other hand, has been really a lifesafer!!! Thank you all of that!!! I feel you like somekind of a soulmate´s or mayby even "battlemate´s " ( I´am trying to mean friend´s in a war or in battle, is this the proper way?) I feel more closer to you than to many of my so called friend´s.(Woops, that sounded miserable, but I dont feel like that!) Marja |
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Post by rosyred45 on Jan 12, 2004 13:16:23 GMT -5
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Post by mom2tj on Jan 12, 2004 13:51:58 GMT -5
thank you finnmom, I do feel like I belong here, It took a long time before I posted (on the other board) I lurked so long untill I could no longer resist Now I cant stop I feel like my Web-Friends are so understanding. the only thing I must stop is that I re-read my posts about 4 times afraid to sound funny, I dont think I need to anymore you guys are so great.... |
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Post by Dad2Brooke on Jan 12, 2004 17:09:43 GMT -5
It's not the quantity of your friends, it's the quality!
I have two best friends.
I know that I could pick up the phone at 2 in the morning and call my either of my best friends and they would come running, just as I would do for them.
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