Book review (Dr. Phil's show continued)

[SKay]

In another thread, I mentioned that my DH brought home the book discussed on Dr. Phil's show a couple weeks ago. Since others want to know about this book and because reading is such a chore for me, I decided as a motivation and way to keep me accountable I would try to post a little here each day about what I read--maybe just a quotation--but SOMETHING.

Today I read only the front matter and first few pages.

"In facing the challenge of ADD together, you will experience the privilege of truly getting to know your child and yourself. Believe me, that is a gift, regardless of what life throws at you later." p. 3

[rosyred45]

Hey OUR KIDS ARE SWEET: WHEN THEY ARE ASLEEP

I get gifts all the time, you should see the front of my fridge ;D

[Linda]

I hear ya Kaiti....mine is the same way....OUR KIDS ARE SWEET AND A GIFT!! I WAS JUST HAVING FUN EVEN THOUGH THERE IS A LOT OF TRUTH TO IT!

[camismom]

rosyred45 said:

Hey OUR KIDS ARE SWEET: WHEN THEY ARE ASLEEP

or when they WANT to be!

[finnmom]

He´s right about our kid´s being a wonderfull gift... I just wish life wouldn´t throuw so much else with them...

And I agree that our kid´s are at their best when they are a sleep Kid´s and pet´s, both at their best when sleeping

[SKay]

For the record, the quotation is by Frank Lawlis, the author that Dr. Phil had on his show.

[rosyred45]

OHHHH, ok, so one day with Dr. Phil the next day with this guy

So how's the book coming along? I noticed in another post you said it sounds more like he's not against short term meds, just long term.

Hope it's worth the time to read it.

[SKay]

Well, reading is just too much of a chore for me; I'm afraid I won't be getting a post in every day. I'm home today with a cold and strict orders from DH to not do any work ;D so maybe I can get a little reading done; but other days, I just don't know.

Here's a quotation: "The treatment of an ADD child begins in the healing home--not at school, not at the psychologist's or doctor's office. If a child's parents and other family members do not invest their time, effort, and love in his treatment, there is very little doctors or teachers can do." p. 20 This seems to be a major component of Dr. Lawlis's book. Guidance from others may be helpful but the family is where the majority of the healing comes from. This makes sense since that's who the ADDer spends most of his/her time with. I'm sure most of us here would agree with that, and that's why we're here.

[SKay]

I'm really struggling here. I don't know that I have ADD, but it is very hard for me to read. I usually read self-help type books so I think part of the problem is trying to absorb so much information at once. I can only take so much; then I have to take a break. But there's more than that because while I'm reading this type of book, I have trouble concentrating on what is being said. I'm afraid I'll never get through this (268 pages).

[rosyred45]

it's not add, it's boring

Sorry, that being said

Youhave read up on so much that it seems redundant, so if we were to buythis book, we would be bascially skimming the pages too.

Nothing to be ashamed of, just being honest.

Let me write my diary, there would be a little excitement there

[SKay]

You may be right, Kaiti. While I would have some problems anyway, I think they're worse now because this is the 7th ADD book I've read. Each author has his own twist, but there's only so much new stuff to come up with. And then there are the parts that don't really fit my situation. For instance, Dr. Lawlis recommends having a family gathering where everyone tells 3 positive characeristics about each member of the family and gives and example of each. My kids are 7 and 3. They would be going HUH? I'll keep muddling through, though.

[SKay]

Well, on the subject of this book: I feel like I would need to be a psychologist to do what he says. He contends that there is a reason we do everything that we do so when the kids behave negatively we should try to find out what the payoff is for them by asking them how it makes them feel, etc. to behave that way. I can't figure out why my DS does some of the things he does. Anyone else feel this way?

[rosyred45]

Bravo for the quick recovery

Anyhow, the way that I have tried to do with the kids at home AND at work is to put myself in there shoes.----no matter how irrational some behavior is or impulsive for that matter, it is for a gratification, at least what I think anyhow.

If they misbehave, did they do it impulsively? If they did, they need to be reminded OVER AND OVER AND OVER....you know what I mean. They have not yet come to the realization that there are further consequenses for their actions.

They might give you lip service with the best of intentions, But they haven't felt the full brunt of why they shouldn't do what they do.

My 2, even though Tara isn't dx'd, are harder headed that a helmet. I have always been a believer of natural consequenses. I know I said it before, but they will not learn unless they are cut to the core and convinced something isn't what they say it is.

Tara had to bounce of the dirt road out to the club before beliving that you can get hurt riding in the back of a truck. Mikey put his hand on the hot pan. He didn't do it again, and so far hasn't again.

But the learning process for all kids is different. Also is the parenting. I give my kids enough rope to hang themselves in certain situations. They overcome it, and that is where they are building thier self confedence and self esteem.

Then again in other situations I keep a tight reign just because of the surroundings. If it is low key, I keep them low key----as much as possible

Off the soap box, did that help a little, sorry for the long winded ness

[SKay]

Ok, let's see if I can explain this. Dr. Lawlis prescribes meds in this way: Once he finds a med that works in the desired way for a child, he will find a food (or concoction) with an unusual taste and feed it to the child at the same time as the med is given. Over time, the brain will associate this taste with the desired drug reaction, and this food item will become the "drug" so that the actual drug can be discontinued before bad side effects begin. He admits this sounds far-fetched but insists it works. Of course he presents this method in a better, more scientific approach than I just did.

This is a very interesting approach, but I'm not sure what to think. It scares me to have someone putting things into the mind (yes, psychologists scare me). I guess that happens all the time to a degree--all our senses are constantly training our minds as the brain processes information received from them. Yet having someone else train our minds is what is a little frightening; I'd have to really trust this person. Does that make sense?

[Linda]

You know what? I agree that there are a lot of good books out there about ADHD and like you said every person has their own twist on it.

What really works is to follow your own instincts....you know your kids....these authors do not.What also works is a support group with parents facing the same challenges as you.