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Post by AnneM on Aug 29, 2005 11:21:37 GMT -5
My 17 year old son Sam has been 100% "off meds" now since the end of June when college broke up ... and he has honestly been absolutely 100% FINE without meds right through the summer both at home, out with friends and at work... and I must admit that I planned on sending him back to college 'med-free' to see how he did since he is now getting older and finally really appears to be functioning so well without them etc.... BUT we had a chat and HE says that HE really feels he would like to go back on them "for college days only" when college starts again on 6th September .... I think he is a little worried about college without meds ... and I wonder whether I should be encouraging him to "TRY for a bit without" ....? ... OR should I be simply 'listening' here because I would HATE to advise him to do without and then find that he was "struggling" !! ...   |
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Post by camismom on Aug 29, 2005 14:02:32 GMT -5
oh Anne, this is a tough one....and ironic too because we are usually dealing with the opposite scenario of kids NOT wanting it. My first instinct is to give him wants he wants since he knows himself best...BUT if it is a "crutch" he's looking for, I don't know. You say he is doing fine without it, but remembering what we always say about how well our children do with something they enjoy versus something they find tedious, maybe he needs it to help him stay connected during the boring spots of class. He did well on his test recently though med free right? Oh, this is a tough one! How does he feel about a trial period without? If he isn't up for it and is adamant about wanting to go back on it for college days only, then I say let him do it. There is no harm being done with him taking it, but as you say, harm could be done if he doesn't and needed to. I guess ultimately at age 17, the choice is his.  |
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Post by Linda on Aug 29, 2005 15:15:55 GMT -5
Are the academics going to be especially hard for him Anne?
This is a tough one....I would have to go with what Sam is telling you...at least for a while...I am with you...I would feel bad if he was struggling.
He may find he doesn't need them after all.
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mothercat
Member Emeritus
With a little luck and a lot of Gods help anything is possible!
Posts: 1,468
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Post by mothercat on Aug 29, 2005 15:18:23 GMT -5
Maybe he could start on a smaller dose..I wish Jared would want to take meds...but its a tough call to make at your Sam's age. good luck..
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Post by Amsmom on Aug 29, 2005 19:49:52 GMT -5
oooh annie, yes, this is hard!!!! since sam hasnt really had to deal with academics since the end of june, i guess he is worrying that the return to them will be problematic, as opposed to not having any problems with work or socialization. poor kid, it's gotta be a difficult place to be in. i keep going back and forth with my answer!!! i understand both ways. i dont think it would hurt to let him try being on meds. as christy said, if he's willing to do a trial period without meds the first couple of days, maybe he could try that? but then, i dont want him to struggle either. im not much help, but i can certainly see why it is so difficult for you.  |
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Post by Linda on Aug 29, 2005 20:03:07 GMT -5
Sorry Anne we are all trying so hard to give an answer but coming up with very little.
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sportsmom
Member Emeritus
What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
Posts: 1,171
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Post by sportsmom on Aug 29, 2005 21:10:28 GMT -5
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Post by AnneM on Aug 30, 2005 10:57:21 GMT -5
Thankyou so much to everyone of you ... Talking things like this through with you helps sooooo much!! ... By the way ... the days Sam is talking about taking meds for college are only 3 days of the week - not 5 days ...so he is suggesting 3 days on meds and 4 days a week off meds .... Christy the exams he took and did so well on were taken back in May/June so he WAS actually medicated at that time!! ... (We just didn't get the results of the exams until August!) ... Oh ... I think I am going to have to go along with Sam on this ... the last time we saw the doctor (back in about May) the doctor said to Sam that it has got to the point where it is now "up to him" ... and if he still feels that concerta is still helping him then there is absolutely no reason why he shouldn't continue ... because they are NOT doing him any harm ... but equally if he wants to try without that is absolutely fine too .. !! ...
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Post by Linda on Aug 30, 2005 12:26:31 GMT -5
I am willing to bet that once Sam goes back on the meds...he will decide he doesn't need them.  |
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Post by AnneM on Aug 30, 2005 12:31:38 GMT -5
I am willing to bet that once Sam goes back on the meds...he will decide he doesn't need them. Linda !! .. Now this is so interesting and something I honestly hadn't actually THOUGHT Of at all!! but in fact I COULD in reality see this as being something that honestly COULD so much happen!!! OMG !! ... I promise you faithfully to let you know!! ... |
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sportsmom
Member Emeritus
What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
Posts: 1,171
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Post by sportsmom on Aug 30, 2005 13:24:19 GMT -5
Another point is 3 days a week is not very many days and he may forget to take his meds on a school day and realize that it wasn't as bad as he thought. I think it will just be a crutch until he is sure he can do it. Good luck to Sam when he starts school |
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Post by camismom on Aug 30, 2005 14:08:36 GMT -5
I think it is a fear of the unknown and Cheryl is right, once he gets settled in he can try without then and maybe just see he doesn't need them afterall.
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Post by AnneM on Aug 30, 2005 15:23:41 GMT -5
Yes Cheryl and Christy ... I think you have such a good point here ... one day last year he "forgot" his meds and came home and said "Mum did I take my meds today?" and I had to tell him that he didn't (because as I have said before he doesn't actually"feel" any different in himself!) and he said "I had a BRILLIANT day though!" ... I sort of cringed inside thinking "Hmmm .... what YOU think is a brilliant day Sam might not be the equivalent of what your tutors think!! ;D ;D But of COURSE I kept those thoughts strictly to MYSELF !! ;D ;D But joking aside ... I honestly think he IS finally lucky enough to be ready to "go for it without meds" ... but I don't think HE knows that yet !! ... |
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Post by Amsmom on Aug 30, 2005 16:14:50 GMT -5
I honestly think he IS finally lucky enough to be ready to "go for it without meds" ... but I don't think HE knows that yet !! ... well said annie, i think you are spot on!!!!!!  |
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Post by kstquilter on Aug 31, 2005 11:24:05 GMT -5
since brittany is in college and i wish she was on her meds, i have to say to go with how sam feels. i'm sure some of it is nerves as he's just getting ready to start. no kid wants to get behind right off the bat tho. especially since he's only on meds 3 days now. although he may want to think about the homework he'll need to do, especially the tons of reading and writing that need to be done. as well as the organization to meet with the small groups in some classes where you contribute a group project so his behavior and focus will affect other students' grades as well as his own.
i'd let him start with tehm and that may give him the confidence to know he can do the work. as time goes on, he'll be the best judge of what he needs or doesn't need. same with any special needs he'll have like getting longer time for tests or a quiet place to take them, etc.
it's a big transition and if his meds help him get off to a good start, then i wouldn't have a problem with it.
tell him good luck!
karen
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