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Post by Linda on Dec 10, 2003 12:19:00 GMT -5
Marja,I guess I have got really "tough" through the years because I do not care what other people think about our precious kids...I t is their loss if thet don't want to find out how great they are! I know it sounds "callous" but that is the way I feel ;D ;D
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Post by Dad2Brooke on Dec 10, 2003 13:26:12 GMT -5
But I think there are many people out there who attribute our children's ADHD behaviors to our lack of parenting skills. No matter how detached we claim to be from all that, being judged as a bad parent hurts. Especially when we're trying so incredibly hard, harder probably than any parent who doesn't have a child with special challenges. And these people who judge have no idea the amount of time, love and commitment it takes to raise our children. Instead of simply dropping them off at the cub scout meeting, we host the meetings in our homes. Parent teacher conferences aren't twice yearly events, they're weekly. Homework isn't something you ask them to do, it's something you sit down and make sure they do. We listen to teachers criticize our children and friends make excuses why they aren't included in things. I wish more people could look at our children and see the bright, loving nature beneath the hyper, sometimes inappropriate, behavior. As to the others...well, I agree with StrugglingAgain...they can go suck an egg! , that was beautiful. I applaud you.  I also need a tissue....  Truly, that cuts to heart of how we all feel, and how we deal with our children's ADHD "...Instead of simply dropping them off at the cub scout meeting, we host the meetings in our homes. Parent teacher conferences aren't twice yearly events, they're weekly. Homework isn't something you ask them to do, it's something you sit down and make sure they do. We listen to teachers criticize our children and friends make excuses why they aren't included in things." |
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Post by DanielsMom on Dec 10, 2003 13:35:15 GMT -5
It's incredibly easy for people to judge us when they are on the outside looking in. This is not a problem with a easy answer or deal with it once and all better. This takes over your whole life, and how you deal with everything. It's 24/7/365. And the way I see it, anyone who doesn't like how I do things or the choices I have made for my son can just KISS MY ***!
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Post by jachkldavis on Dec 10, 2003 19:55:17 GMT -5
My thoughts exactly!!! ;D
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Post by Jorgy on Dec 10, 2003 23:41:49 GMT -5
I have always had the philosophy of "if you don't like it, don't look at it". I could care less what others think, they are not living my family's life. I also used to feel sorry for us. God then kicked me in the "butt" and gave me a good lesson in real grief. I would not have any of my children any other way than how they were created. They are all special in thier own little way.  By the way... what is normal?!! ;D It would probably be BORRRRRINGGGGGG! |
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Post by LitlBaa on Dec 11, 2003 1:30:02 GMT -5
Anyone who doesn't have an ADHD child has absolutely no idea of our day to day routines. I feel so sorry for my DD, she creates most of her own problems and then doesn't know how to undo it or even how she got there in the first place. I am sad that her life is so difficult and that realistically it probably will always be difficult. On the other hand, I see my girlfriends who love spending time with their children, they go places and do things together, and I'm sad for me and a little jealous that I don't have that easy relationship with my daughter. I don't believe in making things harder than they have to be, and I have a child who is the center of conflict and strife on a daily basis. It breaks my heart to see her do these things, but it's so hard for me to spend time with her, because I don't like screaming and crying and constant upset, and that seems to be par for the course with her.
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Post by on_edge on Dec 11, 2003 12:44:25 GMT -5
I have noticed how much we hibernate. I took a good look at the people in my life and noticed that I have only those people who accepts ADHD and excluded those who don't if I can. I had an eye opening experience the other day in the child psychiatrist office. My daughter decided to do a last run through of the waiting room when we were leaving and knocked over a small chair and then headed toward the door. I had a choice to pick up the chair and hope DD waits for me at the door or quickly get to her. I looked at the people in the room waiting for me to scold daughter and I realized that I don't know any of you people and probably never will. So what about the chair because I am not going to allow strangers to make me self-conscious as a person and spend my time apologizing for my daughter's actions to people that it doesn't involve.
I can either spend my time and energy on other's expectations or I can give it to my family. If my daughter is loud or even sassing me then it is my problem. Unless she is hurting someone or saying rude things to others, it is nobody's business. There are places I don't take my dd to out of respect for others like restaraunts and theatres because she has a hard time in those atmospheres, but I am not giving anymore of my self-esteem to stangers.
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- Mother of two wonderful boys! Klayton - 5 and Haden - 5 months