SKay
Member Emeritus
Posts: 1,126
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Post by SKay on Oct 10, 2005 21:48:43 GMT -5
Tonight was the first parent-teacher meeting of the year. On his report card, DS had two B's, one D, one F, and the rest C's. He was supposed to be saving certain pages to put in a notebook, but was bringing them home. I had decided to be more efficient this year and not save all the papers he brought home until the end of the year. Since I didn't know he was supposed to be saving these I threw them out. I come out of these meetings feeling overwhelmed. There is so much he needs to work on that I think we could spend all his after-school hours tutoring him. Our school is very structured and also expects a lot out of the kids. Our family just can't handle all that--having to do this and that all the time and making sure everything is done the right way. I think I used to be pretty well organized and able to accomplish what I needed to, but as I've gotten older or maybe just having the added responsibility of a husband and kids, I'm just not able to keep up anymore. DS has to have someone constantly there helping him. How do you help a child mature and face responsibility? How do you get him to improve his attitude instead of wanting to quit? How do you teach a child to work independently? How do you teach a child self-control, especially in keeping his mind on track?
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Post by Kaiti on Oct 11, 2005 4:59:02 GMT -5
SKAY :-XI know what you mean. This 3rd grade stuff here is harder then I thought as well. One thing that one of the fifth grade teacher's do is appoint a "buddy" to help in clgreat BIG bumorganizational skills. Mikey had a buddy in first grade, who helped to keep him on track, but the teacher was great too. Do you e-mail the teacher? Maybe you could set up a daily e-mail that tells you what he is expectewd to do, then when he gets home, just run down the check list WITH him, not for him. After a while, he'll either be like Mikey and roll his eyes and do it, or you won't even get the eyes rolling. Mikey's teacher sends Monday notes......it is a schedule of the week for homework on one section, a list of what day what is happening, then the other column has a basic run down of the past and upcoming week. We hang ours on the fridge and Mikey has toi check it everynight and show me the work that he did. Good luck  |
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Post by Linda on Oct 11, 2005 6:33:27 GMT -5
We have the same thing here with our 5th graders. It might be something to look into SKay. 3rd grade is very hard as Kaiti said....not only that the behavior seems to be worse in this grade too  Jacob too is in 3rd grade and had to do the MEAP test this year. It has always been in the 4th grade and up before. This is putting a lot of stress on these kids. Again...try to find your ds a buddy to help tutor him |
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Post by brookesmom on Oct 11, 2005 6:33:28 GMT -5
skay I hear you loud and clear. I have many of those same questions that you mentioned. I know it is difficult to always feel that you have to be on top of everything that relates to your child who struggles with AD/HD. I think you are being way too hard on yourself. I know that it comes from the fear that these kids have to learn how to function and succeed in a society that does not understand or recognize that our kids learn differently. You know I actually had a teacher tell my dd in a meeting recently that she needed to use her self control and pay attention in class. I thought that was a ridiculous statement to make to a kid with ADD. I understand that she needs to try to do this, but it is not like she can flip a switch and presto she pays attention! I think it is time that society and teachers learn to accept children with ADD and AD/HD as intelligent human beings who learn in a different way then the mainstream. In regards to the struggles at home, is his homework load too heavy? Can the teacher allow you to modify as needed? I personally have had trouble getting my husband to accept responsiblity for Brooke's educational needs. I am the one who does all of the research, contact with school, organization of IEP materials, doctor visits and the majority of homework. My husband is a great dad overall but not very helpful in this area. He is also the first one to complain when she is struggling. I have told him that I need help dealing with this and he needs to get involved and take some of this off of my shoulders. We are trying to work that out right now. Set your priorities and hang in there. You are feeling a low spot right now but you know that you can do this. You are not alone with this!! |
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Post by camismom on Oct 11, 2005 8:39:43 GMT -5
How do you help a child mature and face responsibility? How do you get him to improve his attitude instead of wanting to quit? How do you teach a child to work independently? How do you teach a child self-control, especially in keeping his mind on track? Skay, my child will turn 14 one month and one day from today, and I'm still looking for the answer to these questions!  |
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Post by catseye on Oct 11, 2005 9:36:03 GMT -5
What wonderfull timing for these questions, I will be DESPERATELY awaiting the answers myself.... Yesterday I was TOLD and even SCOLDED by several people... 1. the bus people feel I need to frisk a TEN year old before she gets on the bus in the morning (apparently the child is STILL sneaking toys on the bus, but does NOT take them in the classroom, really so FREAKING WHAT!! ) 2. That I HAVE to brush a TEN year olds teeth every freaking day... OMG! You have GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!! Apparently she isnt brushing *good enough*... 3. This one I have come up with on my own, without being scolded... I HAVE TO DRESS THE DANG CHILD!! 4. Another one I have come up with on my own, reminding her to wipe after going potty... 5. child STILL cant bathe properly, or on her own... MY GOODNESS!! She is TEN for cripes sake, I have to do these things for my 4 year old, and it should not have to be done for a ten year old!! IMO... grrrr  Sorry for robbery, just a bad day!! cat cat |
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Post by Kaiti on Oct 11, 2005 10:23:58 GMT -5
Cat Stop the scolding, I hollared at Tara this mornign to get it in gear. Apparently last night when I told her to get her things together, it bounced off the brain and went into the trash. She was running around the house socks in hand looking for her mouth guard.....she starts field hockey today.......didn't have the shorts in her bag..... I'm starting to wonder about Tara  |
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Post by catseye on Oct 11, 2005 10:30:36 GMT -5
I wish I COULD!! Problem is the dentist, and the bus people are scolding ME!! Telling ME I have to frisk child, brush her teeth yada yada.... I wasnt scolding sd, in case that wasnt clear... Although she did have to write an apology to the bus people AGAIN!! |
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Post by Kaiti on Oct 11, 2005 11:09:32 GMT -5
Oh opps, much clearer. Tell them to take a flying leap and keep her for a week  |
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Post by AnneM on Oct 11, 2005 11:55:30 GMT -5
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