|
|
Post by StrugglingAgain on Oct 9, 2005 19:23:09 GMT -5
do homework. I know no one will believe this, but I CANNOT get my almost ten year old son to do homework. He just plain refuses to do it and what am I supposed to do? Just now, I told him that the television that he watches will be gone tomorrow...the end! I've already taken away the tennis that he's taken for two years and the Tae Kwon Do he's also taken for two years. Nothing, and I mean nothing, makes a dent in him. How on earth can I motivate him?? I've completely quit spanking him, it does no good, and I might start spanking and forget when to stop. He absolutely doesn't care one bit what the consequences are. Does anyone have any bright ideas for me? His teacher gives very little homework, so I don't dare ask her to alter the volume. What is due this week is a book report. I DID get him to read the book, but now I can't get him to do the book report. OMG...this is ALL the time. This is a sh***y way to live day in and day out.  |
|
|
|
Post by Linda on Oct 9, 2005 19:33:02 GMT -5
Really common problem for a lot of us because writing is the last thing some of our kids will do.  You said he read the book.......How about he tells you about the book ....in his own words and you write it for him. |
|
|
|
Post by StrugglingAgain on Oct 9, 2005 19:38:48 GMT -5
Great idea, Linda, but he won't even do that! Is he lazy? Or obstinate? Or is this part of his defiance? IF it's part of his ODD, then how is he going to ever finish the fourth grade?
|
|
|
|
Post by catseye on Oct 9, 2005 19:38:59 GMT -5
Oh SA! I know the struggles!! Have you looked into the reward system INSTEAD of punnishing? For 20 minutes of homework (or whatever), he can EARN a special treat? Or t.v. time or whatever it is that motivates you child?? I hope you can find something to get him motivated, their self esteem REALLY goes caput if they cant do well...  Hang in there... cat |
|
|
|
Post by Linda on Oct 9, 2005 19:49:46 GMT -5
Great idea, Linda, but he won't even do that! Is he lazy? Or obstinate? Or is this part of his defiance? IF it's part of his ODD, then how is he going to ever finish the fourth grade? I don't think he is lazy as much as he is pushing your buttons Would his teacher let him give a oral report? Speaking of his teacher she probably could give you some ideas! |
|
|
|
Post by StrugglingAgain on Oct 9, 2005 19:56:13 GMT -5
Now THAT is an idea!!! I think I might just ask her if he can do an oral report. He'd have to do that with her in private; even his psychologist says he's not to stand up in front of a crowd, but hey, that's a good idea! I'll email her in the morning and see what she says about it. Thanks!!
|
|
mothercat
Member Emeritus
With a little luck and a lot of Gods help anything is possible!
Posts: 1,468
|
Post by mothercat on Oct 9, 2005 20:20:31 GMT -5
Does your school have an after school homework detention or homework help period ? If they do tell him that he can either do it at home or school but remember to reward him for a job well done so it isnt like a punishment. OR maybe given the option of doing it orally he would just rather write it down..when I was little I would have rather done ANYTHING than to stand up and do an oral report even one on one to a teacher. ;D
|
|
|
|
Post by StrugglingAgain on Oct 9, 2005 20:34:55 GMT -5
ME TOO!!!!!!!!!!
|
|
|
|
Post by kurs10b on Oct 9, 2005 21:01:39 GMT -5
Oh heck, I am the opposite. I never minded getting up in front and doing an oral report. Saved me a bunch of time and trouble.
|
|
|
|
Post by Kaiti on Oct 10, 2005 5:48:43 GMT -5
Are you sure you don't have Mikey over there  He is the worst when it comes to getting anything done. Last week he had 3 sets of 5 times each to do  Did he do them when he was supposed to? Of course not. He did them all Thursday night.......fell asleep at the table too..so I had to wake him up As far as the book report, does he have a guideline to follow? Like a Paper to fill in all the information? That might be easier for him. Ask the teacher if h emight be able to do that. you can guide him by haing a separate line for each: Setting Characters Plot Conclusion: Something like that.......... |
|
|
|
Post by StrugglingAgain on Oct 10, 2005 7:11:23 GMT -5
Oh yes, the form was supplied by the teacher. She has been more than cooperative. This morning the battleground still exists, but I'm trying to follow advice of letting it go. I emailed the teacher that he might do well to have her give him an oral book report one day this week during the recess period of the other children. I don't think that will motivate him, but it'll get the book report done for THIS time.
This exhausts me before 7:00 AM. Surely the TX Children's Hospital doctors will come up with something that will make this more tolerable. (I wonder if they can recommend something more for me??) First thing this morning, DH is faxing a letter to the doctor to beef it up and a list of our in network providers. We need to get this show on the road. This deal with the hospital testing, reports, etc. has dragged on for months!
|
|
|
|
Post by Kaiti on Oct 10, 2005 7:15:33 GMT -5
You never know unless you ask....as far as something for you. I know what you mean about the before 7 thing, Mikey has been up since God knows when and truckin gon ever since  I'm glad to see that the teacher is a willing one to work with you.  Remember to pick your battles for YOUR SANITY |
|
|
|
Post by StrugglingAgain on Oct 10, 2005 7:32:31 GMT -5
I've decided everyone is right. I'm tired of living in a war zone and it's going to stop. He can suffer his own cosequences. They'll only hold him back one year if it's necessary. I've busted my buns to get school work done for years and I'm through. Aside from me encouraging him to read....I'll not pressure anything else. He being healthy and my relationship with him is FAR more important. THAT part is my job....the school can do theirs.
|
|
|
|
Post by camismom on Oct 10, 2005 8:56:46 GMT -5
I've decided everyone is right. I'm tired of living in a war zone and it's going to stop. He can suffer his own cosequences. They'll only hold him back one year if it's necessary. I've busted my buns to get school work done for years and I'm through. Aside from me encouraging him to read....I'll not pressure anything else. He being healthy and my relationship with him is FAR more important. THAT part is my job....the school can do theirs. I'm right there with you S/A! After trying unsuccessfully to get Cami to do the essay her teacher was giving her another chance on last week , I decided to heck with it! It is HER choice, and if she chooses not to do it, SHE can suffer the consequence. |
|
|
|
Post by StrugglingAgain on Oct 10, 2005 10:35:52 GMT -5
Good, Christy. There is only so much we can do and I know you're like me....been doing this for so long I'm just worn out! Our relationship is going to the dogs and I don't know if it can survive me being on his case any longer. Besides, I'm going to have a nervous breakdown and THEN where will he be??
|
|
