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Post by swmom on Feb 19, 2004 10:00:54 GMT -5
I'm constantly finding myself caught between making a decision on behalf of my ADHD chlid OR letting her make the decision and suffer the consequences. For example, my daughter enjoys sports. Each season, there are numerous sports to choose from, i.e. soccer, softball, lacrosse, tennis, etc. She has played soccer for 4 seasons now. And is eager to play again. Problem is, compared to the rest of the girls, she isn't any good. Just don't think soccer is her sport. But she loves it. Really wants to do it again. What do we do? Let her play because she likes it and it would be her choice or not let her play, knowing that she's probably not good enough to excel, and will realize this at some point down the road, and get her involved in another sport she might be good at? What do you do? Each soccer season costs us about $120. I am eager for her to try a number of sports, because she is a good athlete, and I firmly believe she will excel, once she finds her sport.
What would ya'll do? Help.
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Post by Linda on Feb 19, 2004 10:45:10 GMT -5
If she loves it...why not let her play? Who knows somewhere down the road she might make another choice on her own.  |
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Post by Honeysmom on Feb 19, 2004 10:53:35 GMT -5
$120 is a lot of money to do something you are not very good at, but if it something you love to do it would be worth it. I would let her play. I think is shows great confidence on her part knowing she is not very good, but wants to keep at it because it is fun.
IHMO, letting her play also shows that you support her no matter how good she is at it. By encouraging her to quit you could be teaching her that she shouldn't do things she's not good at and then she may never want to try anything new or get better at the things she should.
Sports do more than test athletic ability, lots of charectar traits are learned as well. If she loves it, I'd keep playing it, but it would not hurt to encourage her to try new things, she may find out she loves tem too.
Good Luck...Becky
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Post by Dad2Brooke on Feb 19, 2004 11:04:34 GMT -5
If she loves it, let her play. You never know that she may all of a sudden click in soccer. IMHO, I think it is more important to love what you do, than to always be the best at it. One final word of encouragement; Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team because he wasn't good enough.  |
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Post by swmom on Feb 19, 2004 11:27:15 GMT -5
Thanks for your replies. Perhaps I should go ahead and let her play.
Becky - She DOESN'T realize that she isn't any good. She THINKS she's a great soccer player. ' Spose I should've included that. She honestly does not realize that when you're on the bench, it doesn't always mean that coach is giving you a chance to rest!
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Post by kstquilter on Feb 19, 2004 20:54:36 GMT -5
i also agree that you should let her play if she loves it no matter how good she is. she'll eventually figure out she isn't good enough to play much and move on or she'll keep playing for the love of it.
dd was a decent dancer, barely made the competitive team each year. she knew she'd never be a pro or a soloist but she did it for the love of it. she'll always be a dancer because it's a part of who she is even tho she doesn't currently take any classes.
my only thing would be to watch the other parents and kids for negative stuff. parents can be even meaner than kids can be. no kids needs to hear from others how awful they are. then you might want to talk to the coach about how they need to nip this in the bud.
dance moms are no better than little league moms and soccer moms when it comes to how much better their little darling is than yours no matter what skill levels the respective kids have.
also since dd danced so much, we made her take the summers off to try something different. those programs are usually shorter and don't always cost as much. eventually she had to continue dancing during the summer because of the team activities but at least she had a chance to try other things without giving up her first love.
karen
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Post by aimee30 on Feb 19, 2004 21:27:10 GMT -5
Going to sound like a recording here....let her play. What harm would it do? She may eventually decide she doesn't want to play and wants to try something else. Until something changes......she is having a great time.
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Post by rosyred45 on Feb 19, 2004 21:34:05 GMT -5
I'd be torn too. I agree in the fact that if she loves to do it, let her go for it. I also see the point of the parents and the negative stuff. Please make sure that she only hears good points about any of the things she tries.
Growing up,(fourth grade) I thought that I had a chance to be in an enriched program for art. I put a portfolio together and did my best to get into this program, wanting a shot at being able to draw, or whatever.
I over heard my mom telling one of my dad's cousin that she didn't know how to break it to me, but I couldn't draw for squat. I was messy, didn't even have a clue about perceptions that should be in art. Needless to say I went to bed crying myself to sleep.
Sorry it's so long, I just think if it is something that she wants to do, don't crush her hopes or over hear you.
Kaiti
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