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Post by catseye on Apr 22, 2005 8:59:31 GMT -5
 :'(THIS STINKS!! I feel so totally set up, betrayed, devastated, there simply are not enough words to describe my feelings... The answer to why no one really knows what a maps meeting is, is because probably no one has had a school give up on a child... Until now... Sd's school is recommending moving her to a CI (cognitive impaired) full time class room... This is BARELY above a SMI (I think that is severely mentally impaired class)... Not only will she be yanked out of main stream schooling, she will also be physically moving to a different school... I dont know the details yet, but I am guessing we wont be able to get bussing even... This school starts later in the day, I will have to totally rearange my work schedule... This on top of the psychologist meetings we are going through, and I just want to lay down and cry!! We had NO idea this is what this meeting at the school was about... Sd's IEP is in 2 weeks, and we have to make a decision by then... Obviously she cant go to 3rd grade, and obviously she cant be held back again (she is 9 and in second grade)... Its like we hit a wall, and no where to go but down...... ARGH! cat
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Post by vickilyn32 on Apr 22, 2005 9:15:36 GMT -5
Oh Cat, I dont know what to say. I am so sorry you are going thru this.  Is there no other option right now? ;D How could they just give up on a child? This is going to be a very hard decision to make, I am sending lots of to you, I think you will need lots of them. |
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Post by catseye on Apr 22, 2005 9:55:37 GMT -5
Thanks vickilyn, I think the hardest part, is I KNOW they are probably right to recommend this... Its an unfortunate reality, that sd simply is not learning anything... She absolutely HATES school, and I cant say I blame her... There isnt a single subject she can do with some ease even... With everything being such a struggle for her, I wouldnt want to go somewhere everyday where I know I cant do anything "right" or "well"...
Its a fine line, we dont want to underestimate her ability... Yet if we over estimate her, sd fails everything...
I just plain ole hurt with the reality of her situation, and knowing how hard her life is going to be... Just feeling like we totally failed my sd, and now it will be just soooooo obvious to her that she isnt "normal" (I HATE THAT WORD!! Best I can come up with though)....
cat
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Post by Annette on Apr 23, 2005 9:30:06 GMT -5
Do you have an advocate? If you're in Michigan you can get one from either the ISD ( Intermediate School District ) or CAUSE ( Citizen Alliance To Up Hold Special Education ).Here is the number for Cause in Detroit 1-313-863-8201. There is also another office in Lansing.What School district are you in ? Before they move her or you even talk about moving ,ask to check out the CI classroom.Ask for other suggestions besides the CI classroom. Maybe the psychologist will have some ideas. I am almost positive that they HAVE to provide bussing to the other school. I wouldn't make the decision without the whole I.E. P. team being there. Don't let them push you in to anything. Your not failing her.Your making the best decisions you can for her. |
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Post by Linda on Apr 23, 2005 11:18:58 GMT -5
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mothercat
Member Emeritus
With a little luck and a lot of Gods help anything is possible!
Posts: 1,468
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Post by mothercat on Apr 23, 2005 11:36:55 GMT -5
Catseye my sisters daughter is 17 and at a 1st grade level..she is in spec ed of some sort at high school. They have spec classes to teach her how to function in the real world after she graduates etc. She may not be able to read well or write well but she can and does get by. SHe will be able to hold a job and has a very busy social life. She does competition figure skating and track events and has boyfriends. I cant see how they could give up on your daughter. Think of the guy who was on Jane Pauly the other day ..the one with add that couldn't read or write well but invented things like E-tickets and stuff. They gave up on him but he went on to be a millionaire so to speak. I would definitley get an advocate and dont just roll over for the school..check into every possibility even the ones they wont mention. (we would 've never known about 504's if we had left it up to the school.) Alot of in the meantime! |
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Post by camismom on Apr 23, 2005 12:01:33 GMT -5
oh Cat.... I can't offer up any more advice here than what you have been given but I just want to reach out and give you a hug. one thing you said here that I want to correct you on though.... YOU HAVE NOT FAILED THAT LITTLE GIRL!! You hear me?! You love her like your own and have done all you can for her... You are a very special lady for that. Don't you forget it! You will find a way... you always have and because of the great love and suport she has always had from her special step-mommy and her daddy she WILL be fine. I know it. (((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))) |
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Post by AnneM on Apr 23, 2005 15:53:53 GMT -5
Cats I have to reiterate completely what Christy says .... THERE IS NOOOO WAY YOU HAVE FAILED YOUR SD ... OMG!! NOBODY could be more loyal, loving and supportive than you have been !! ... So NO !! That is just SOOO WRONG !! Apart from that I am soooo sorry that this MAPS meeting was about this !! ...  You know your SD best of all and YOU will know whether this is right or wrong for her .... Cats |
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Post by Annette on Apr 23, 2005 18:01:52 GMT -5
Here is the web site www.causeonline.org/Here is the Lansing Number Lansing Main Office Detroit Office 6412 Centurion Drive, Suite 130 Northwest Activities Center Lansing, MI 48917 18100 Meyers, Suite 307 Office: (517) 886-9167 |
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Post by Amsmom on Apr 23, 2005 18:21:16 GMT -5
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Post by catseye on Apr 25, 2005 7:57:14 GMT -5
Thanks everyone, I just hope I can pull myself up out of this funk before the IEP meeting... I just feel so dang beaten... I have used an advocate from cause before, not sure I have her phone number anymore... I will email cause and see if I can get her phone number again... The psychologist that we just started seeing, when we asked if sd was capable of public school said that he is a big advocate of mainstreaming... Maybe he can help us to... I just fear forcing them to continue mainstreaming, is going to backfire, and may not be what sd needs anyway... He (psychologist) recommended taking charge of ADHD by russel barkley, I read almost the whole book this weekend (rotten outside anyway)... So far things are not going so well with him though, there are concerns I have... After ONE meeting with sd, he thiks she is depressed... I am concerned that IF sd is depressed it is situationally, with everything that is going on (failing school, her mom out of life again etc)... I dont feel antidepressents are the right course, dh unfortunately thinks we should just do whatever psychologist says without any questioning...   Sorry that doesnt fly with me!! I will question everything, once I get my strength back... I dont think I have ever been so scared in my life to make the wrong decision... To much pressure, and the cat is cracking under it!! 
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Post by catseye on Apr 25, 2005 9:50:30 GMT -5
Thinking about this more, do I NEED an advocate? I think what we really need is more independent testing on sd (something that isnt inconclusive GGRRR) to see where she really needs to be in school... An advocated doesnt really get to know the child, they just know what they hear from parents and teachers right? I need someone experienced in education skills to tell me where sd would be better off... More then someone telling me my sd's "rights"... I just want someone to tell me what is the best thing for her!! I simply dont know anymore... |
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Post by Linda on Apr 25, 2005 20:21:06 GMT -5
cat...I think an advocate would do what is best for your sd.It won't hurt to check it out. Check out everything that is available for sd...Annette has given some really good information. Your little girl is very lucky to have you |
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Post by Annette on Apr 26, 2005 6:58:34 GMT -5
An advocate can tell you more then her rights.They can tell you about different programs the school district may have.They can tell you things that may have helped other kids that are like your step daughter.You can also talk about different tests that won't be inconclusive.They can also help you get independent testing . As far as her not being "normal".Tell her everyone is different. People learn differently,just like they don't look the same.It doesn't mean anyone is better then anyone else,or smarter.She can do things they can't.Just like they can do things she can.Then tell her all the things she can do well.Talk about the things you can't do well. I'm sure you going to make the best decision for her. |
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