I don't have a problem with this~~~~

[Linda]

George...what you are describing is bullying...we have zero tolerance for this too but it continues.

[george2]

If every spare dollar could be spent on the most dynamic Youth Director and their programs at the churches in each town, with weekly city-wide get togethers. young people would learn to care about each other. They would also have a large amount of very safe fun and learn how to become the best adults they can be. "Kids will be kids", it's OK for them to do that. The noise is just the music of their youth. I believe they should be given the expectations for success and if they work and accomplish this communicating with each other just makes their workplace more barable for them. Work is work they don't like it anymore than we do. I want to know who the idiot that decided school fun should stop after elementary. Maybe his invention was named after himself. "Mr. Dropout"

[mothercat]

They have a wonderful church related program in the nearest town to us. It meets once a week and has dozens of vid games and computers, and pool , and bowling alley etc. All the kids have to do is sit thru one sermon which also has a rock band. All the gang bangers go every week..free food and party ..its not that they follow the rules its that they dont get caught breaking them. I went once to check it out for Jared and one look around told me that it was organized caos. While they have a very good idea one still has to remember that you can lead a horse to water but you cant make him drink.
Kids will be kids and rules are rules..bullying and fighting should be zero tolerance. Today isn't like years ago ..now they bring guns to fist fights. The music of their youth today could be the funeral march of what should've been their future. The final word on it all is that if you dont teach them how to behave at home then dont EXPECT society to teach it for you ..we set the examples for our kids. It isn't societies job to tell our children what kind of behavior "we " expect out of them.
Now I will climb off.

[camismom]

George said:

There are two main reasons for fights at school. One is romance jealosy and the other is ego protection. Kids start out as the young child that is friends with everyone. In junior high social climbing begins. The same child walks up to the schoolmates he or she always played with and gets rejected. This happens because the schoolmates have formed a "we are better and more important for whatever reason" group that excludes their former playmates. After this rejections sinks in the child looks for acceptance somewhere else. If the same rejection keeps occuring the child joins the "Thug" group and begins to use intimidation as their means for respect. The theory is if I can't get respect because I'm just good enough then I just beat the respect out of you. I have tried to convince kids for years to be themselves, not some alter image.

George, this is so true. My dd is in her 2nd year of middle school now and has been dealing with this very thing since starting. Once in middle school they seem to want to put put people in categories....i.e., this person is a "prep", this person is a "punk", this person "goth", this person a "sk8ter", etc. I often ask my dd why they feel like they have to put a label on their school mates. People are people, they just choose different fashions that's all.

[Linda]

The rejection actually starts in elementary school...sad but true

[mothercat]

My kids have been categorized to death at school..but it is still not aa reason to turn into a bully. Punk ,Goth ,long hair , f*g, fat, geek, pc nerd, cripple, hippy (still used here) ,. You are very right..people are people just different. Its wrong but no reason to turn unto a bully (which I might add is another classificatin only on our part). It still is no reason to fight. Bud got jap slapped in the locker room by a bully Friday before last. Bud is adult enough to see it for what it was and even though other kids were egging him on with "I wouldn't stand for that." .He didnt clock the kid..he waited and talked to an adult. He also wouldn't let a friend do it The kid was a bully left over from grade school. (he wanted to clock him but didn't because he follows the rules) He told me that he has many more friends in high school that respect him more for not fighting because it is stupid to fight. I told him I was proud of his reaction but if he runs into the kid on the street I think I may get another reaction our of him.

[Linda]

M/C...I hope the bully was dealt with but something tells me it wasn't.

[mothercat]

It was dealt with by the dean..Bud asked that they not suspend him as the kids likes that ..my kid isnt stupid . The dean told me that they talked for quite awhile about things..he likes Bud. ;D..and the others in gym have now more or less set the other kid straight verbally. I like the high school kids. They do seem to grow up more and for the most part the probs only come from a few. (in grade school it was half the class)
A lesson was learned but Bud has said he only turns one cheek and its real good that the kids doesn't live nearby ;D ;D ;D But why do they all want to try an egg on a fight when there is a problem that most times can be handled easily..I still say zero tolerance and teach them right from wrong at home. Had Bud wanted to he could have hurt the kid badly..he has learned control from living with jared ;D ;D ;D ;D

Zero tolerance and teach them right from wrong...and if my kid had a cell phone and refused to call for help in that kind of situation , they would no longer have that cell phone.

[Kaiti]

I know it's a little late but I'd like to chime in, if I may.

We supposedly have a zero tolerance for bullying, but when Mikey is being picked on by 5th graders-come on now, he's a second grader- something is wrong.

Most parents around here are afraid to say anything for fear of retaliation on the part of the kids or the parents, you know what, tough.

Personally I talk to kids about what is right and what is wrong. I tell them to put themselves into the others shoes. Everyone is different and that is what makes the world go round.

If everyone thought the same way, there would be no new ideas, no new thoughts, no new technology. No new nothing, it would be boring.

I think around here, with the "bully" programs, they ( the programs) aren't really helping, they (the institutions using the programs) are just face coating it to say , yeah, it was done........we tried.

I too think that it all begins at home, the kids need to learn the respect factor from the day they enter this world.

Off the box

[Linda]

Question? I wonder why certain kids are "targets"

Paul has been bullied many times...mostly in elementary school and a little bit in middle school. He finally fought back in middle school and he has no problems what so ever now.

[mothercat]

When Jared was in K grd he got closelined by 2 8th graders..Jared got yelled at not the others kids are targets if they are quiet, different looking, have parents who do go to the school and check , and they are also targeted alot out here if they have two parents ( believe it or not) 90% of kids are from divorced parents out here..

[Linda]

I know Jacob gets targeted sometimes because I work at the school....but kids are really dense sometimes because I am harder on him sometimes because I am THERE

[Kaiti]

Wondering why it happens, well, thinking about it and I think that the kids that pick on Mikey are just trying to be cute in front of their friends because I work at the school and they don't think that I'd talk to them personally, well, they were wrong on that point, I called their bluff and told them to knock it off or I personally was calling parents......ain't no middle man getting in my way.....and all of the parents would be tottally furious, so it's slowed for a bit now.

Anyhow, well, thinking about it, when I have been nasty to other people and said inappropriate things it was to make me feel better, or so I thought.

I always thought it was a crock about the kids having a poor self esteem, but I think that they aren't taught to be empethetic, is that the word I am looking for?

My kids feel compassion for others because I have shown by example and correct them......not embarrass, but correct.

Mike and I go round and round about teasing and how far it goes,

[kurs10b]

There are kids in our neighborhood that bully other kids. One particular one is about 13 and he likes to beat up on 5-10 year olds since they are the only ones that cant kick his butt. Our solution is to just call the cops. They know where he lives, they have talked to the deadbeat mom. He knows we will call the cops if he even acts like he is messing with anyone in view of our house, so he doesnt come down here much. He also knows better than to mess with my kids.

[Linda]

kurs...that is meanness in the worst form. I hate to see little kids get "beat up" by older kids.