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Post by AnneM on Mar 19, 2005 12:30:56 GMT -5
My 16 (going on 17) year old son Sam has some important decisions to make over the next few weeks ... There are several options available to him for the next academic year and he really is struggling to make his mind up right now ! ... I am trying my absolute best to guide him (and I know full well the direction i want him to take!) but ultimately the decision is his and I am trying to guide him without being seen as pushing him.... (Remembering that saying that when your kids are teenagers you have to take on the role of CONSULTANT rather than DICTATOR!! LOL)! Last week he passed an 'External' Assessment Exam which was hugely important !! ... We were over the moon with this vital "Pass" .. This gives him a "seal of approval" with potential employers AND gets him onto the 2 year course that he "thinks" he wants to do ... (without it he would not have been able to do this particular course!) ... However, he is now having second thoughts about whether that IS what he wants to do!!  & he says he is frightened about starting this particular 2-year course and then finding mid-way that he doesn't want to do it after all!! ...  We have suggested to him that we take him out for dinner next week (at a restaurant of HIS choice) and we (JUST Sam, his Dad and I) will talk it through and look at his options and TRY to get to the bottom of how he really feels and which way he should go forward ... Doing this course MUST be ultimately his decision ... and NOT because his parents pushed him into it!! .... Any ideas how we can manoevre him in that direction whilst making it "his" decision? |
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Post by kurs10b on Mar 19, 2005 18:12:01 GMT -5
Try the whole "pros and cons" thing. You could also try to help him explore why he initially thought it was a good thing to do.
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Post by Linda on Mar 19, 2005 18:20:25 GMT -5
:)I think Sam is scared of starting something new. A lot of us are...maybe you could put it to him that way. How about asking him to give it a shot and if he doesn't like it he can back out. I am very proud of Sam for passing that all important exam and I bet you are too.  |
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Post by AnneM on Mar 20, 2005 12:18:21 GMT -5
Thankyou ladies ... this is good advice ... and Linda funny you should say that about telling him to "give it a go but if he doesn't like it he can stop and change direction" ... we in fact did exactly that for THIS college course THIS year (because he was also equally scared before starting this one!) but he has continued and is now nearly finished!! .. Meantime around HALF his present class have "dropped out" during the year !! ... The statistics are NOT good ... but Sam has seen it through ... and that in itself has also made me proud of him!! |
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Post by camismom on Mar 23, 2005 10:11:06 GMT -5
Thankyou ladies ... this is good advice ... and Linda funny you should say that about telling him to "give it a go but if he doesn't like it he can stop and change direction" ... we in fact did exactly that for THIS college course THIS year (because he was also equally scared before starting this one!) but he has continued and is now nearly finished!! .. Meantime around HALF his present class have "dropped out" during the year !! ... The statistics are NOT good ... but Sam has seen it through ... and that in itself has also made me proud of him!! I was just about to bring this up when I saw you already had. Remind him of how he felt the same way last year and how once he started he like it. I agree with Linda.... it's probably just the fear of change. Just keep encouraging him that he CAN do it! We ALL know he can! |
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Post by AnneM on Mar 23, 2005 13:15:32 GMT -5
Thanks Christy!!  .. Oh and I am proud of him again today ... he passed his Application of Number (i.e. Maths) Exam just this afternoon (which over 50% of the students fail!) ... This year (at college - in contrast to school) he is suddenly PASSING things rather than all those years where he either failed or got low grades!! ... He is ridiculously modest though ... he just comes home and sort of gives me an envelope !! .. I have no idea what I am going to see ... and then I saw PASS ... and I was saying 'YEEEEEESSSSS !!! ' and you can sort of SEE he is pleased too but he doesn't want to make a big deal of it!! LOL!! (so I have to 'tone it down' a bit!!) You are right ... he CAN do this!! .. and he has stuck with it soooo far whilst soooo many of his peers have dropped by the wayside !! ... |
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Post by camismom on Mar 23, 2005 14:30:18 GMT -5
It is so good and shall I say inspiring to hear these stories of how well Sam is doing. I often wonder if Cam would be college material and I think of Sam.... in college, off his meds. He is proof that you can make it if you try... and at age 16! Here in the US, we're still struggling with high school at tht age. Give him a congrats for me for passing!
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Post by gabrielsmom on Mar 31, 2005 21:36:30 GMT -5
I am so so proud of SAM.....I read your posts and it gives me such hope for Gabriel. I see a light at the end of the tunnel. Thank you so much Anne for sharing Sam's achievements with us. You not only get to brag and with good reason about Sam, but you give those of us who have younger children see that everything will turn out right at the end. THANKS |
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Post by Linda on Mar 31, 2005 21:39:24 GMT -5
What has Sam decided Anne?
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Post by AnneM on Apr 1, 2005 11:47:50 GMT -5
Thanks so much everyone ... Sam has decided that he DOES want to go the CITB Route which he can now do having passed the CITB Assessment Exam ... this means the next 2 years at college and possibly another year after that BUT he needs an apprenticeship to "go with it" ... (i.e. he would spend some of his time working (3 days a week) - and some of him time learning at college (2 days a week) .... However finding an apprenticeship ISN'T so easy as there are just not that many vacancies !! Sam's main tutor at the college this year is fortunately one of the people in Sam's life who thinks he is great ... (rather than one of those who has no time for him!) ... PHEW!! and we are seeing him on 11th April to talk about all this .... His tutor is so much FOR Sam and has put so much faith IN Sam so I am hoping for a productive meeting ... Fingers CROSSED!! ... There are two other routes (one other apprenticeship route OR a full-time college route) he can take but the 2 year CITB is by far the preferred route ... He has got this far and if he can just get an apprenticeship he will be well on his way ... !! PS Oh and this CITB route is DEFINITELY the one I personally was hoping he would go for!! ...
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Post by Linda on Apr 1, 2005 13:06:35 GMT -5
That is great news anne...tell Sam I am proud of him Paul will be a senior next year and he has been offered a few apprenticeships also..he hasn't decided yet...he really likes electrical work...so we shall see |
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Post by camismom on Apr 1, 2005 14:43:22 GMT -5
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Post by sweety on Apr 1, 2005 17:22:37 GMT -5
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Post by gabrielsmom on Apr 7, 2005 16:27:47 GMT -5
Congratulations Ann
You've got a great kid with a good head on his shoulders!!! You have done a wonderful job at raising him.
Keep up the good work Sam!! We are all very proud of you.
Joshua
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