Breach of confidence?

[camismom]

What do y'all make of this?

As I posted in another thread I just started, I'm beginning to lose faith in all schools.

Cami told me last night that yesterday after going to her peer group session, her counselor held her behind to question her about something. She said Cami's friend I always call A (the troubled one) told the counselor in a session she had that another student has been going around talking about skipping class and how cool it would be. Apparently the counselor got this student and Cami mixed up since both are friends of A's. Well, Cami told the counselor she had not said any such thing then called A last night to ask her why she would tell the counselot that. That's when A told Cami is was the other student she was talking about, not Cami. This of course led to both of them realizing that the counselor was repeating to Cami something A had told her in a private session. Sessions that both of these girls have been told are supposed to be private. Well, now of course, Cami no longer trust that what she tells this counselor stays with this counselor. She already has a deep mistrust of counselors in the first place.... already has a strong fear of telling them anything for fear of it getting out, a fear of talking about someone else for fear it will get back to them that she did. This counselor apparently just proved her right.

I sent an email to the counselor this morning bringing this to her attention.

Her I am trying to teach my child to open up to the counselors so she can get the help she needs from them, and they do this.

I am just so sick to death of schools, teachers, and all administrators!

Am I making a mountain out a mole hill here? Is Cami? Or is she right in her feeling that this counselor broke A's confidence?

[mskris]

Well, this is kind of a tough one. I mean, if A told the counselor that she thought student B was suicidal, should the counselor keep it private?? In your case, it wasn't a very serious issue (come on, many students might say it would be fun to skip school but don't do it), so I'd be forthright and tell the counselor it wasn't necessary to break confidentiality. However, in the case of bullying or suicidality, etc., it might be a different story.

Kris (I hate school, too! )

[camismom]

I got a reply from the counselor at 11:20. She said she had tried to call me. Funny, I was here all morning and have only been on my phone for maybe a minute at the time. She left no voice mail, and din't try back. Anyway, she asked if I could call her between 12:00 and 12:30. I didn't get the email until 1:40. She said she would rather we talk on the phone rather than by email. That may be hard to do here.... I get a lot of people thru here sometimes and many interruptions.

Oh, I wish I could pull my child from this school. ARGH!

[Linda]

Christy I would wait till I talked to the counselor....there may be more to this than you know. Let us know.

[camismom]

OK, I feel like an idiot but the conversation was about girls "cutting" themselves (the very topic I touched on in another thread), not "skipping" class. In retrospect Cami did use the term "cutting" but maybe in my own naivety, I took it as cutting class. This IS an case where they have right to break confidentiality. She said she talked with Cami today and cleared it up with her and I will reiterate it to her tonight.

Let's all gather round and samck me on the head! MAJOR blonde moment!

[tridlette]

Christy, I don't think you over reacted at all... I never heard the term "cutting" as anything but skipping a class... and I am a paramedic in the Philadelphia area. So...

And as I was reading through this I was thinking... sure the counselor doesn't want to use e-mail... that leaves a paper trail! See, we have been burnt by schools so many times that we always think the worst! HA! We aren't judging the book by the cover... but by the history of the author!

BUT... on the bright side... let Cami know that the counselor was acting on her behalf when she talked to her. I also have been involved in severe depression more than once, and the first question the medical staff ask is always... have you had any thoughts about hurting yourself. When you are truly miserable, that question is an eye opener... you will answer it truthfully without hesitation.

As much as you question your parent skills, be thankful that you two TALK and LISTEN to each other. As long as Cami has the confidence in you to listen to her, you are both in good hands!

Keep hearing her, and keep responding the way you do, and she will turn out FINE!

[finnmom]

Christy, I see you´ve got it solved allready, good!!! I think Cami will understand why she did break the confidentially, it was meant for her good. I think also that the counsellor should have investigated it a bit further , like asking more details about WHO was the other girl. Assuming is not the right way...