advice on school prob needed

[mothercat]

Okay I guess I do need some more advice...I was gonna ask the other mornig then had to handle it myself but now I am getting mad. (never good) Jared had two books come up missing. The last he remembers he put them in his locker before lunch Fri as required to go to lunch. After lunch he got his afternoon books out and put them in his bag and went thru the rest of the day. He had been so proud as he had finished his assignments in these two classes and had no homework in them. Monday he gets to school and the books are gone along with the homework. We always check his bag and homework, the kid didn't have the books at home or I would've checked them off on the assignment book. We have been looking for the books everyday (except today) at school since . These things happen and I will probably have to pay for them.
The thing that makes me mad....his S.Studies teacher called him irresponsible in front of the class and told him he could use a book one day at school only then after that he would get detentions till he found his book.
I didn't know what to say so I went and talked to the principal and he says Jared must 've misunderestood and that he would not be punished. I thought it was all settled till I looked at Jar's assignment book last night.
The durn S.Studies teacher actually wrote it in the book for Jar to look at every time he opens it this week. The S.Studies teacher is one who says adhd is a myth and they just need DISCIPLINE ...he is also a single one with no kids. When I read the assignment book last night I started feeling nautious and have had what I thought was the flu since (it is going around) but I have to wander if it is stress and BP now. Why would a teacher write something like that ...I mean I think it is bad for the self esteem. Should I carry this one out..to make matters worse yesterday morning Jared forgot his bookbag on the play ground (first time ever) and got in trouble. He has been accused and hassled by this teacher to the point where he is gonna mess up.
I am not sure whether to let this drop or what. I believe Jared as we walked thru it over and over agin...he did not waiver in his memory and just swears he put the books in the locker. They dont change combos from year to year and Bud said it could be just
a silly prank .. I dont know if the battle is worth it or if I should wait for the next one.

[Linda]

Oh carry it out girl That s.s. teacher has no business being a teacher. Maybe you need to remind him what a bully is cause that is what he is doing to your son

Go to the principal again...if you can't get anything done there go to the school board...the newspaper...anything you have to do...DO IT

If that fool teacher thinks ADHD is a myth invite him to any of our homes...better yet.take them to his and we will see how far he gets with his DISCIPLINE

[mothercat]

You know what really bothers me...alot of the teachers at that school who are younger than me are having this attitude about adhd being a myth and all that...shouldn't the younger teachers be BETTER educated and know better.. I thought they taught them about these things in school before they let them around kids? ? I am totally confused just thinking about it..I mean I expect it out of some of the old tenure teachers that have been teaching many years but these people are younger than I am.

[Linda]

I always picked Paul's teachers in elementary school. I had heads up cause I worked there. When he was in 2nd grade a teacher just out of college came to work there and he was a male...I thought...great...this guy is going to be up on ADHD!!!!WRONG...Did I ever make a mistake with him. The classroom was chaotic and did the kids ever take advantage of him...Paul included. It was a very long year.

[mothercat]

Well I went to the principal and he took the teachers side. He said it was good for Jared to be told these things and it was good for the teacher to communicate it to me in the book... I told him the word responsible and adhd dont go together and he was kidding himself if that note was gonna do anything more than hurt Jared. I also told him he needed to educate the teacher on adhd. He still thoought the teacher was within his rights...oh well.. next battle I will win..it's not the war.

The most important thing this teacher taught BUd when he had him was that russian vodka is better than american vodka. I might add that he is also a coach and refuses to let the boys play on any sports teams due to their hair.. so like I said we will go round again.

[tridlette]

This sounds like newspaper and school board stuff to me.

If ADHD doesn't exist, explain to me why there is a medical billing code for it?

And I think they would have to show me in the school district policy book, in writing, that a hair cut is a reason to keep a child out of sports.

If Alan Iverson or Dennis Rodman can play in the NBA, and these NFL guys... for that matter, what about the nice clean shaven guys too... that is a matter of personal preference... and is called DISCRIMINATION.

We aren't asking for anything except a FAPE (free APPROPRIATE public education). APPROPRIATE! Major word...

Make photocopies NOW of that page the S.S. teacher wrote, and keep one for yourself. Doesn't sound like this teacher is too smart... putting it in writing could be his LAST mistake! I think he has taken his share of the rope and just needs you to pull the knot tight... he has hung himself... and the principal along with him. Write a letter to the principal summarizing the conversation as you understand it. Keep a copy of that too! Send and electronic copy as well as a paper copy of it...

DOCUMENTATION!

I dislike ignorant teachers, young or old!

[mothercat]

I agree 100% with you but gave up the hair battle along time ago..it is unsafe for boys but who cares about the girls basketball team being safe...yeah I got it. Good thing that I think more about education than sports.

I have thought about hanging his as@ but then the brunt of it would be taken out on my kid by everyone else on the staff. Small town crapola. It was a battle not the war..I wrote him a note back stating that if he could find a way to cure the problem of adhd kids being forgetful and losing things then please let me know ..as alot of kids out there need the help. I also told him any communication about Jared is to be kept between PARENT and Teacher.

Hey tridlette.... bet you know what anniversary it was on Monday. (We did 8 yrs of the scout thing...) You ought to try that in a drug infested little town like this one. Its like painting a target on your forehead. we finally got out of it.

[mothercat]

;D ;D

Okay so Jared swears he left the books in his locker. He has s.studies 2nd hour and then reading third..he has the books in both classes and then goes to his locker leaves his books and goes to lunch. I really do believe him as we walked it thru time and time again. He hasn't altered his thoughts.
In the meantime he has to listen to the s.s. teacher call him irresponsible in front of the class and threaten him with detentions etc. He has gone to search before and after school daily. Each day his s.studies teacher meets us at his door and say no the books aren't here you need to look at home and be more responsible.
GUESS where they found the books! In the S.S classroom.
The s o b wasn't even man enough to hand them to Jared...he had the reading teacher do it.

What I want to know is how they got there..he went to reading after s.s on Friday and had the books there so he didn't leave them in the S.S. room on Friday.. Oh well atleast we wont have to pay for them. ;D

I am still mad about the way the teacher in question treated my child...I dont mind if they punish him for not doing his work or breaking the set in stone rules but the teacher (in my opinion) still went over the line. Especially writing it all down in the assignment book for EVERYONE to see...believe me the doctor will see it at the next eval.
Yeah I guess I am still angry, but I just keep on sayin its just the battle and not the war. (does this mean I win this battle by cowardly default?)

[tridlette]

mothercat said:

its just the battle and not the war. (does this mean I win this battle by cowardly default?)

The war... I think you are the one looking for the peaceful cease fire! I am proud of you! I wish I could keep my anger and frustration about unfair treatment under control. But I wear my heart on my sleeve. Everyone knows when I am upset, and I am impulsive when I am angry. (the doctor called security on me Tuesday because I demanded loudly to have my children treated... she pulled out a needle and started after Patrick without any explanation of what she wanted to do... he threw a 12 yr. old tantrum... I threw a 39+ y.o. tantrum when she called security!)

I am glad you stayed calm... what is your secret?

I still say keep plenty of documentation. Time may come when they fail to meet his true needs and you can push for compensatory education to make up for their failure the first time through. I hope it never needs to come to that point, but it is easy to keep the records just in case.

Good job, you showed him you trust him, you know that what he says is the truth. You taught him a wonderful lesson by not siding with the teacher, just because he is the teacher! Way to be "Mommy Advocate of the year!"

[mothercat]

;D ;D ;D ;D

I keep every single scrap of paper my child puts out in files under each teacher.. every year I make the office give me a full new copy of Jareds files, and I have been asked rudley to leave the school grounds many times and thrown off them once. Me under control??yeah I am getting better at it but .. I just have to pick my tantrums carefully..the hubby says he wont pay bail for tantrums. ( I do know that they dont want him to handle this crap)
Keeping in mind that I have been there before with my older son also being harrassed and picked on for being long haired , different, and quiet (a bad combo) the whole time he went there. Not to mention his health probs that they didn't want to accomadate.
I wish I had a quater for everytime I stepped foot in the school..I could get the car with the heated seats then.

The teachers all know me and there is a certain look in their eyes when they see me coming. ;D
I dont know but I think they are all just crazy... cause they are the problem ...couldn't be me. ;D ;D ;D

[tridlette]

mothercat said:

...I think they are all just crazy...

NEWS FLASH! Of course THEY are crazy. Who in their right mind would intentionally go back to school after so many years of compulsory attendance?

As if it wasn't bad enough having to be there for the first 12 years.

[mothercat]

Well Jared only has two more years at this school and he goes on to high school. I think he will love that. Bud was totally miserable with these people and now that he is in high school it is much better for him.
Jared was relieved that they found the books and he has learnt something from all this..I am not sure what but he didn't fuss about homework and he asked for help when he needed it and he also took his bath without pleading....maybe he learnt that he is more adult than his s.s teacher. (either that or we are in for a heck of a snow storm ;D)
They are in the process of voting on the new school board here..when they get some new blood in ..I plan on going to a meeting and asking why the teachers aren't educated in adhd when they should be...
and why they dont do some inservice type programs to get them educated...my son isn't the only one who is adhd...I did cubscouts here in town and I know alot of the boys are adhd,add,odd,and many other things. My child wouldn't benefit but there have to be yonger kids who would. I may or maynot get far but atleast I will have done something. They have the one on one for the extremely adhd ld's but the kids that are integrated into regular classes deserve teachers who actually know what adhd is and that it is real.
I may also pick up the baton again on the hair issue with sports as Jared does love track but that is dealing with the S.S teacher (he is also coach) and it may be a dead end. little town crapola

Bud came home from his friends house tonight and his friends foster mother told him she knew who I was but had never met me....she used to be on the school board...(I hope I gave them nightmares)