Overstimulation and after school care.

[sweety]

I'm having a problem with dd. She has to go to after school care because I work and at 10 she is too young to go home by herself. We are on our 4th day care in 6 years. Right now she is going to the YWCA after school. She complains that the kids are "loud, inappropriate and obnoxious" and that the teacher doesn't do anything about it. I try to get her to explain and she says they run around screaming, hit each other and the teachers don't pay attention. I know the noise is a problem and overstimulation can make us ADHDer's very nervous. Since there are no other day cares togo to, is there something we can do to help her be calmer and tolerate the daycare more. I am going to talk to the director. She is good friends with the teacher so I don't know how much this will help. i know part of this is dd just being 10, but I also think that there is some way I can work with her to tolerat it more.

[finnmom]

Sweety

That´s very hard thing. I can fully understand that she get hyper and cranky of all that noice, I know overwhelming stimulation make´s me cranky

If that´s the all you have, no other option´s... then you should go to talk to this principal of this. Do you have to pay about this, if you do, then I think it´s more than appropriate of you to complain if this is not handled right. Even if it´s for free, you have all the right´s to talk to them. I hope it´ll make the difference for you.

Do you think this could be just that she´s getting bored with all this at this time of the year? Mayby it´ll be easier after holiday´s...
good luck.

[sweety]

I talked to the director and we'll see how it goes. She acted rather surprised when I told her some of the things that dd was telling me. I hope things get better.

[AnneM]

Sweety I find this really interesting because as an adhd'er I would have expected your dd to be "joining in to the full" with the running around etc. rather than finding it hard to cope with .... I find that a very interesting reaction ...

BUT I also sympathise because if it is upsetting your daughter this is NOT, NOT, NOT an ideal situation!

[sweety]

It's not the running around that she minds it's the screaming that everybody does while they run around. Aparently there are a bunch of kids who can not run without screaming. (acording to Rose) They also purposely hit each other which she finds very offensive. She's not a prissy little thing, she describes herself as a "tomboy" but any kind of excess noise she finds really troubling. When she was 5 she sat in a movie with her hands over her ears because she said the sound was too loud. (I talked to the manager and he turned it down. It was a little loud) She also is the only kid I know who doesn't like Chuck-E-Cheese. She says the place really "bothers" her. She has told me that the place is "too loud and too busy" I just wonder if there are other members who have ADHDers who don't like noise?

[Sorka]

Wow.. new smileys!!

Ok.. they were distracting me..hehehe

Sounds like a bit of sensory integration disorder..
Or the new sexy term is sensory proccessing disorder.

She is a sensory avoider.. in the sound and sight arenas probably..

Is there a chance of another mom in the neighborhood watching her just after school for a couple extra bucks a week I would do it!!!! Sure helps with the groceries.. then it would be probably a calmer environment.
Denise

[MistyMorningPA]

My DD doesn't like Chuck E. Cheese either, so now you know 2! LOL!! I was thinking, ???do you think your DD would wear a pair of those foam earplugs?? You can still hear with them on but it might be enough of a buffer to block out the loudest noise.

[rosyred45]

Sweety, I am SO APPALED at this. I have not busted my butt for the past 12 years to have other kids acting like this.

Sorry, hate it when prgrams are like that. sad reality is that some of the staff think that the kids need the immediate release......yes they do, BUT don't think about the noise.

I have been the biggest mean, and been called worse by the kids, because I want inside voices PERIOD. You are in a building, you use an inside voice. Be respectul of others that are still in the building.

If they are outside, if they c\scream, some one better be bleeding or dying, if not, Picnic Table until you can control your self

Sorry I just feel so bad. I have started taking the 5-7th grade to another room for homework and "get away for the volume/younger siblings" room. It is SO MUCH CALMER WHEN SOME KIDS ARE SEPARATED!!!

Is there anyway to have a separate quiet area, where that is just what it is QUIET? Mikey is the same way. He might be hyper as all get out, but as soon as hje is around a bunch of noice and total kaos-----most of the time he doesn't join in.....he crawls into a shell and cries that it is too loud.

That's when I take him with me to the quiet spot

[rosyred45]

Forgot to add, what is the staff to student ratio?

[finnmom]

Sweety

Loud noice´s and crowd´s and pushing bother´s my ds too. He get´s really restless and nervous of those. Sorka is right; it´s SI problem.

[Linda]

SWEETY...LOUD NOICES HAVE ALWAYS BOTHERED PAUL TOO...AS THEY DO ME

I AGREE WITH KAITI AS I WORK WITH KIDS TOO.I GUESS I WOULD BE VOICING A COMPLAINT...SOMEONE IS GETTING PAID FOR A JOB THEY ARE NOT DOING!

[rosyred45]

The thing I don't understand is how they can get away with it

We have our kids meet in the library, them I take the bigger "big kids" down for some quiet time. I had to explain to them that I was trying to get them away from little brother and sister types that would bug them when getting homework done.

They finally got it on Wednesday when I said NO MORE. We'll stay with the little guys.

They didn't like that answer.

Oh I am really sorry this is happening. Ihave been with state levels to try to discuss things, and it is a pain int he butt.

[sweety]

She is going to the YWCA today. I'll see how it goes. The teacher student ratio is about 6 or 7 to one. No more tutoring till January. I am going to talk to the neighbor that keeps her on mon-tues and see if she can keep her every day. The problem is that the neighbor does car pool for her sons school and some days doesn't come home till 4:30. Keep your fingers crossed and say a prayer so I can get quiet time for Rose.

[rosyred45]

Fingers crossed.

With that type of ratio, I'd expect more from the program, and that's just me professionally speaking with a touch of mom thrown in for good measure.

Have you made a formal complaint in writing to the YWCA, not just the child care portion of it? What I was told when I worked at the daycare center that for every complaint that is made, that person will tell 9 people. For every compliment that is made, or good thing, it is only told to 3 others.

They don't need to hear that you will tell people what their care is like now would they? If I was you, I'd be talking it up. Ask other parents what they think. If there are enough of you fed up with it being so out of control, band together. It will make it look better on your part if there is more than one complaint.

I have always told my parents that there is nothing trivial when it comes to the welfare of the kids. Something I can help, others I can't. But if I can change it for the better I will.

[sweety]

:-[Well having a typical ADHD memory, I forgot that there is tutoring today and tomorrow so Rose will be going to the friends house. No tutoring in the month of December so we'll see how the YWCA does. The Y had to severely cut back it's services this year. It closed it's pool, took out the exercise equipment and canceled some of the afterschool classes. It also eliminated a couple of administrative positions.I think it has "management issues", or at least "issues". I know the furniture is old and the carpet is really worn and torn in places. They do a great deal with what they have but everything in general doesn't seem to be handled very well. I hope I can find something better. For $60 for 3 days a week, I deserve better.