Parent teacher conf/report card update

[catseye]

I am a little perturbed at sd's teacher, for remarks she made on sd's report card... I need to know if I am off base before I go in there tonight screaming!! LOL

They are on the number system still, 1- area of concern, 2- developing, 3 achieving, 4 exceeding... Needless to say there were NO 4's, which isnt my problem just a whine there... LOL There were several 2's though (and more 1's then 2's), that had little asterisks next to them.... The asterisks stood for, "based on IEP goals, not standard for grade level"... Does that really need to be pointed out? Arent we all aware sd is below standards? ARGH!

It just ticked me off, and I guess I thought the IEP IS sd's standards... I dont like the implication, of sd being compared to the "standards" of her grade level... She is in special education for all the core coarses, so why was it necessary to throw that on her report card?

Anyway wish me luck, I hope I can keep my mouth shut if sd's mom shows up... I tend to become a motor mouth when nervous and her mom makes me nervous... I definatly need my tonight!! LOL

Side note: Yesterday I received a call from the school, at first the woman asked for sd's mom's name, then quickly corrected herself... Picture me very unhappy about that one! Then the woman tells me sd peed her pants at school, I felt like telling her to call sd's mom!! MAKE her leave work and deal with it... Of course I didnt since sd's mom is 2 hours away, and it just would be silly, but I was very unhappy about the whole situation... First being thought of as sd's "other" mom's name, which to me is a HUGE insult, I dont like the woman... She would NEVER take off work for anything at the school, including parent teacher conferences, IEP meetings, volunteering which I have done all of those things and more, missing time from my job... I guess I am feeling a bit taken advantage of lately... No one but me will do these things with/for sd, yet I am supposed to "know my place" and back off... ARGH!

[oliviasmommy]

ah the joys of step-parenting: be everything and more that a "real" mom is, but don't step over the line and don't take any credit for what you do, because you're not the "real"mom.

cat, I know firsthand it's hard parenting someone else's child, but what you do for her will make all the difference in her life as she grows up. I look at it as a truly unselfish way to make a huge difference in a child's life - taking on the daily care and loving a child that didn't come from you - all the while dealing with the lack of respect for step parents. Please know that the time you spend with her will make a lasting impression on her - kids need to know there is someone to count on, especially if mom is far away. I'm sorry the school was so rough on her - and asking for the other mom is just plain inexcusable. I'm sure the school is aware of the living arrangements - they need to be more sensitive to you. (((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))

Stay strong and remember that you are giving your sd very precious gifts of your time and energy and that is priceless.

[Linda]

Good luck at the conference cat and I hope the "other" mother doesn't show up....hmmmm or maybe I do....she seems to think she knows it all!!

As far as the teacher goes I really do not understand what..."based on IEP goals not standard for grade level!!!I think I would zero in on that one with the teacher!

Just remember you are the mom here...you did the raising so don't let this "other mom" get to you....YOU ARE THE MOM AND A GOOD ONE TOO!!!

[tridlette]

Our report cards are computerized, and the asterisk is computer generated. It shows "the next school" that the goals for this child are individual. Supposedly.

I have my pulled out for my meeting in the morning, so if you pass me in the air tonight, don't be afraid. I will be practicing long and hard for my 8:30 a.m. meeting as well.

The other replies say it all. Your DD, (I don't think of her as sd, since you are really the MOM here), has it better than you think. Every time her bio. mom opens her mouth, it pushes you to advocate for DD harder! Let her be an added incentive to get the very best for DD. You just happen to be the MOM who cares enough to do the advocating. USE THE OTHER mom.

See how this works. USE her. Turn her negativity into a more powerful POSITIVITY for you. Let her make herself look bad, and you will glow all the brighter.

Enough of the colorful metaphors! Believe in yourself and what you are doing for the child. Think of it this way... the school lady who called, forgets you are "just" the stepmom, because you are the MOM she sees ALL the time. She forgets the other mom exists. It is an easy thing to do, and instead of it being an insult, look at it as the greatest compliment. It is a reminder that YOU ARE DOING THE JOB right!

Hugs!

Laurie

[finnmom]

Cat

you´re doing a great job with you sd dont ever underestimate your input and effect on her life The other mom is there and mayby she is the bio-mom, but I see you as the real-mom fr your sd; the rea-mom is there and does what ever needed to help this child, as you do

Trid got it right; use all that negativine´s to your strength and do good for your sd, as you already do.

As for the remark of the standard´s; I´d say something to the theacher. Your child has her standard´s on her IEP, so she should not be judged by any other "standard´s" at all

Good luck!!

[rosyred45]

I couldn't have put it better than the others, stay strong and when you pass Trid tonight, i want a picture of YOU TWO
Remember no drinking and flying, you might hit a mountain top

[Linda]

Just ask Kaiti she ought to know! ;D

[rosyred45]

not uhhhhhh :PNew Jersey is a very flat state, we hit trees, hills, other peoples vehicles that are parked. That kind of stuff.

Not me though, no drinking and driving, flying, walking around town, NOTHING

[catseye]

First have you ever heard of "touch point math"? Apparently sd was supposed to be doing that, instead of counting the pennies I gave her... OOOOPS

I kept my mouth pretty closed at the meeting, I did ask about dyslexia, since the number recognition was "19" sd would say "91", and as I have said before the words are written in wrong order, and said backwards at times... The teacher STILL doesnt think that is the problem....

The other thing I commented on, is those asterisks next to sd's grades, which stood for "based on IEP goals, not grade level standards" this was stated at least 4 times, and I told the teacher I didnt like that since sd's standard IS the IEP goals... I just dont think that needs extra attention, stated four times on one page report card... State it once if need be, but geeesh we all know sd is behind... Teacher didnt really say weather she agreed with me or not, but at least she knows I am not happy about it...

Bm didnt make any friends with the teacher either! Bm was addressing that she is only getting newsletters in the mail, not actual homework copies (before it being done by sd), which she wants... Well bm was asking the wrong teacher for homework copies, since sd is doing all homework with the special ed teacher, so that was the problem...

Then bm was asking dh what days sd gets off for thanksgiving, I told bm after dh answered, that the school schedule is on the internet if she needs that information (which is actually IN the newsletters bm just got done stating that she is getting anyway DUH!)... No responce from bm, but hey I tried...

Bm was getting sort of snotty with dh after the appt, wanting to know everything about sd's new hearing aids that are being made... Do you have any idea how hard it was to keep my mouth shut over that one? I WISH I had the cojonas to at least say, Oh dh didnt tell me you were helping pay for this set.... But no me wimpy... I guess sd is so excited about them, sd has been talking about them at her mom's, and all we have had done is the form thus far, but sd got to pick the colors... Dh said bm probably thought we had them and werent sending them or something, I suppose that may be why she was so inquisitive about them...

It seems sf's ex is getting married, (I swear this was an excuse earlier this summer to miss a weekend), this weekend, so bm asked to switch weekends yet again... No biggy doesnt interferre with any plans, this time... We all know how last minute weddings are dont we??(sarcasm) LMAO

The teacher really trumped up sd's reading, she is doing so much better, and actually putting emotion in her voice... Not perfect of course, but improvement definately... Sd also got 100% on a history test, we were very impressed, and really laid it on to sd how proud we are!! Bm didnt once bring up the "special school" as we thought she was going to, havent a clue why she didnt bring it up, hopefully bm is dropping that for now at least...

Also the one teacher brought up the "now that sd is on the right medication" etc thing... I felt bm stiffen there! LOL They all know the only reason sd wasnt on medication for a bit is because of bm... hee hee

Oh well it has all worked out, the necessity was proven, suddenly bm has no more complaints of sd being "sick" even though it is the same medicine... I now have a better understanding of the homework issue, and dont feel nearly as overwhelmed right now... It was a great meeting, so glad I went and kept my mouth mostly shut, I did good even while being so tempted!!

cat

[rosyred45]

GOOD GOING FOR KEEPING THE MOUTH SHUT ;D

I wouldn't have been able to, they probably would have asked me to leave.

Also good to see that sd's doing better in her reading and hey, history can be boring for some, she seems to take to that does she?

Oh shoot, gotta go to work.

Good meeting

[Linda]

They would have kicked me out after I "clocked" the bm

[finnmom]

Cat, that sound´s great. Seem´s like you had a good meeting with threm, and so clad to hear bm didn´t mess up anything AND that you didn´t jump on her ;D Even thou you were tempted, I have to honor your strength on that

[mskris]

Sounds great, way to go!!

Mine went well, too. Ds' teacher mentioned that he needs a lot of redirection during class, but she also said she doesn't mind doing it, so it seems we're okay.

There were no surprises in ds' performance/report card. It was just what I expected. The only problem I had is that she gave him minuses (needs improvement) for effort in every subject. He does tend to have an "it's good enough" attitude, but since he also tends to have anxiety issues, I try not to push him too much. Also, I feel that his efforts are channeled into just staying on task and paying attention, so maybe he doesn't have much left for the actual paperwork? Anyway, he's a good kid and I'm not sure if I should push him to put more effort into schoolwork. What do you all think?

If she's chalking up his distraction to lack of effort, then that's a problem, but how do I know?

Also, his report card indicated grade level reading, but we got home a different report saying he's below grade level. I think that was based on standardized test scores, and there weren't accomodations on the standardized test...hmmmmm. I am applying for a grant for tutoring for him, but I don't want to push it too much if he's holding his own. Math, science, social studies are good - all above basic standards. The only area of concern is reading, which has been the case for 4 yrs now.

Kris

[finnmom]

Hey Kris

Great new´s !!!! He´s doing great