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Post by bunny on Sept 11, 2004 23:38:54 GMT -5
When doing homework, I find my DS pulling his hair repeatedly. It's very upsetting to watch  . He also tells me how he just wants to break the pencil and rip up his paper. I know he's stressing, but I end up telling him to knock it off and get back to work  . It's hard to keep being patient... The other night he couldn't sleep, and his dad suggested that he either go back to bed, or get ahead on his homework. He chose the homework  . You should have seen the look that passed between us! He then proceded to complete the assignment with little assistance, and practically no stress. Go figure...  . I don't know if it's a fluke, or if he performs better later at night? I do know that by that time I usually don't have much left in me to give to my kids, so I wouldn't want it to become a habit. Not to mention that some 10 minute assignments take an hour to complete. We're still avoiding the meds, but at times like this (the hair pulling, etc...), I wonder what the best path is... |
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Post by ohmama on Sept 12, 2004 1:26:04 GMT -5
That hair pulling would scare me too. Do you think it is a sign of anxiety or something more serious? It sounds like a good time for him to take a brake for a while till he can calm down some. It must be very stressful for him.
He was relaxed but not sleepy at bedtime so was able to complete the work. Being relaxed sounds like the key. I think you have a smart boy there. Have you tried any relaxation techniques like breathing exercises or positive visual imaging with soft music playing?
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Post by MistyMorningPA on Sept 12, 2004 11:43:52 GMT -5
I agree with the relaxation theory. I've found that ANY argument, no matter how small, sends my daughter running from the homework table growling (well, it sounds like growling to me anyway). If it reaches that point, forget it, she's not coming back to do the work! I guess the work itself is stressful enough & anything added to that stress just pushes her over the limit! I find its better if I go into the next room while she works. I let her know I'm available if she needs help & I can still see her but I'm not right there "hovering". A little music seems to help too. Good luck! I know its frustrating for us parents as well, but with trial & error we can find what works for each individual child!
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Post by aimee30 on Sept 12, 2004 11:51:29 GMT -5
Sometimes my DS gets so frustrated when doing his homework that he wads his paper up, throws it across the room, breaks his pencil, etc. When he gets like this I tell him it's time to take a 10 minute break. I tell him to go get a drink and go to his room and cool off. What he does in his room is up to him. When he is cooled off he has to start his homework over on a clean sheet of paper. But his is cooled off enough to finish his work.
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Post by finnmom on Sept 12, 2004 14:15:16 GMT -5
Hi Bunny Homework...dont you just love it  My ds doesn´t like me to watch over his shoulder while doing homework, I too go to the next room and help him if he ask´s help, otherwice he get so agitated it´s impossible to complete any homework . He wasnt able to go to school last week at all, he was feeling sick hole week. So yesterday he had homework´s of the hole schoolweeck , But letting him do it by hinself, just helping him to move on to the next one, helping when he needed(mainly to say that do this next  ) and telling him to have some breik´s, go jogging for a while and then continue..... All that and there we were, all work done by evening  What come´s to that hairtwirling... has he had done that before? Some kid´s/adult´s have that as a habbit, they pull/ twirl/twist their hair all the time when doing something important. This is just a thought, not nowing your ds or his habbit´s... But you´re not alone with this, if we would poll this subject, you could see that there is propably no one who wouldn´t think homework with a little anxiety |
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Post by catseye on Sept 13, 2004 8:55:37 GMT -5
Well this is going to sound INSANE but I never claimed to be sane  ... I actually found that my sd does better with background noise, I have used a fan, soft playing music before and for some reason it actually helps her... I cant figure that one out!! LOL Might be worth a shot though... Maybe more frequent breaks? shorter break times though? Sorry just throwing out some suggestions, and letting you know we all struggle with these issues~ Good luck cat |
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Post by rosyred45 on Sept 13, 2004 9:31:43 GMT -5
OK, I am insane too, I work better with background noise....But I have realized Mikey doesn't do as well as he used to. It has to be something soothing, not with a beat or heavy bass sound-unlike me.
He might be thinking to himself, If I pull again the thought might come to me-seriously. He's over thinkinging and can't get exactly what he wants out.
At least that's what I think. Anyhow.....Good luck
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Post by camismom on Sept 13, 2004 18:31:19 GMT -5
Cat, that's not insane at all. Cami has done her homework for quite some time sitting in the middle of her bed with her stereo on. She says it helps her concentrate, and I have seen myself that she gets it done quicker that way.
Bunny, as far as your ds, when is he working on homework? Is it right after school? If so, try giving him some free time to just run, play, expel some energy, and take a break from school work before he tackles the homework. An hour or so maybe? Then, to reiterate others here, when he is doing it if he starts to show this stress, let him take a short break to just rest his mind a minute. Trying so hard to concentrate and get it right, but not being able to (in their minds anyway) makes them feel like failures and that's what causes the anger and outbursts. We have all been there.
Good luck, I'm sure you'll find the answer you're looking for.
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Post by bunny on Sept 14, 2004 7:58:35 GMT -5
I think your right about trying to get it right... he gets very frustrated with himself (might erase right through the page!). The hair pulling may just be a habit that gets more intense with stress. He plays with my hair all the time (since he was an infant!), so maybe it's just a tactile thing to keep his hands occupied... it's just kind of hard to watch when he starts pulling it hard. We do our school work either just before, or just after dinner. This gives him plenty of time to play with friends or just veg and watch TV. I pretty much let him decide how to spend the 1-2 hours right after school. His new teacher is WONDERFUL. I spoke with her about different issues and we came up with acceptable ways of dealing with them (he can dictate rough drafts to me, I write them down, then he copies them in his own writing, or he may type them). She has even allowed him to verbally complete some assignments or tests if he's getting too frustrated. All this without a 504 . She gives the kids a choice of 3 out of 10 possible homework assignments. They come home on Monday, and are due Friday. This allows us to pace ourselves and have other activities going on some evenings. No weekend homework ;D. With this method of giving out homework, DS seems less frustrated... YEAH! So things are actually getting a little better, we're able to stay off meds (so far...). Thanks for your input and letting me vent. Bunny |
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Post by rosyred45 on Sept 14, 2004 8:13:36 GMT -5
LET"S ALL MOVE IN WITH BUNNY ;D
She sounds like a great Teacher. Way to go!!
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Post by finnmom on Sept 14, 2004 14:12:15 GMT -5
Hey Bunny
That sound´s great... do you have a spare room ;D
I´am glad to hear your ds is taking homework little less seriously now
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