Post by Veronika on Nov 20, 2003 18:40:21 GMT -5
For a quick history on my boys. Johnathon is my biological son, he's 12 yrs old. Keith is my step-son, he's 13 yrs old. Keith moved in with us 2 yrs ago because his mother couldn't handle him anymore.... but of course she didn't tell us that, we had to figure it out on our own.
After Keith moved in, our family began going through hell!!
Over the past 2 yrs Keith has.....tried to set a fire in our spare room, refused to do any school work, lied to us everyday, told us lies about his mother abusing him, (which in turn we went to court and won custody of him). We were stupid enough to believe him at the time....then after court he admitted to lying about everything. He said "I told you she abused me just so it would look better in court."
He has convinced Johnathon not to listen to us, only to listen to him, has lied to all of his counsellors, teachers, family members, tried to tell my husband I was cheating on him (because Keith was mad at me)....that's his way of "punishing" someone when he's angry. He told his teacher that my husband beat him, then the teacher called Child Services. She told us she didn't believe him, but it was her job to call, that's fine. When the worker came to our house Keith admitted to lying and said Ron did not hit him. The worker told us to get out more, and that Keith was pushing our buttons.
Johnathon has been diagnosed with ADHD/Mood Disorder, when he was 4. He started meds at age 5. School has always been hard for him, as with all ADHD kids. Home life hasn't been a bowl of cherries either. Johnathon has always been a violent and very hyper little boy. The older he got the worse his temper became. He has punched holes in his bedroom walls, our living room walls, broken our things, broken his own things. >:(He had issues when he was younger, but now that he's 12, he refuses to listen to us, (no help from Keith). He looks up to Keith like he's a God because Johnathon has always had a hard time making/keeping friends. When Keith moved in he was the friend that couldn't run away.
With the 2 of them teaming up against us things got worse day by day.
Johnathon's anger got so out of control that one day after Keith told a lie about him, Johnathon jumped out of his bedroom window. :'(That day Ron & I went to Child Serives (in Canda it's called CAS). We explained our situation and they told us we had the option to put the kids in Tempoary Care. That was suppose to last for 6 months. Johnathon went a Group Home where he contracted a skin infection, >:(and we brought him home....he was only there for 1 month. Keith went to a Foster Home, and was spoiled rotten. >:(The foster parents believed all of his lies. So that idea didn't work.
When both boys were brought home, we tried to start over. That didn't work eiher. They continued lying, refusing to listen, and continued to steal....now from my work.As if stealing $50 and lots of other things from us wasn't enough!!They were caught on camera and by a fellow employee. No charges were laid. Keith physically pushed Ron during an argument, and Johnathon threated to hit Ron over the head with a guitar.
We have now placed them back in Foster Care. This time they are together and only 2 blocks away from our house. Their behaviors are still out of control. Keith told another lie at school, said that Ron threw him down a flight of stairs. We live in a very small town, and people at my work were talking about that before I even heard about it!!!They are putting the foster mother through hell! (I'll call her "Pat")I talk to her everyday, and the boy's behaviors have not changed.
They have NO respect for other people, their belongings,(they have destryoed the room they have at Pat's house) they act like it's all our fault that they are there.....which it is not ALL our fault! We don't want them there, we want them home, and we want to have a normal family!! You know, where everyone lives under the same roof!!
I found out today that all the stories Keith has been telling me over the past few months are all lies!!! He's there for that reason! He doesn't know I'm in constant contact with the foster parents, and I tell them everything.
Johnathon told me that Keith wants to be moved to a different foster home because he wants to play video games and watch movies that are rated 'R'. He's not allowed to do this where he is now. Well obviously he's only 13!!!
What I don't understand is whenever I talk to Johnathon he always asks when he can come home. Keith NEVER asks! I know he wants to be moved from the foster home because Pat knows he's a liar and he can't get away with anything. He told us that. He also told her he wants to be moved.
Shouldn't his first priority to be to come home? Not to be moved somewhere else?
I know Johnathon wants to come home, and I know Keith doesn't.
They are in a level 4 foster home, they get counselling from the foster parents, and are helped daily dealing with day to day problems. It's a perfect place for them to be.It's like intense therapy for them. It was NOT an easy decision for Ron & I to come to, but we know this is the best thing for our kids right now because we can't handle their behaviors. We want to get them the help they need, and we had to come to the conclusion that we can't give them what they need. There's nothing more difficult then waking up every morning and not having your kids running through the house. But, we had to do something, and that was our last option. Everyday things were getting worse, and I was on the verge of a breakdown. Ron has high blood pressure and I was scared that one day I would find him dead of a heart attack.
We are going to start having visits with the kids within the next couple weeks. I don't know how that will go. We are still angry at them for the way they have been behaving, and I'm not sure how they will react to us.
I heard today from our worker that the kids told theri worker they don't want visits with us. I don't believe Johnathon would say that, noone believes he said that. But after the conversation I had with keith I don't doubt he said it. I was talking to the boys one night and Johnathon said "Keith wants to come home to play 'Halo'." (A game for the XBox) I said "Neither one of you will be playing that because it's rated 'R'." Johnathon told Keith that and Keith got really mad. He's upset now because of a stupid game!!!! What about his parents??
Sorry this is so long, but alot of members have been asking about what my life is like. I could go on, but I don't think you all have time to read a book!!
After Keith moved in, our family began going through hell!!
Over the past 2 yrs Keith has.....tried to set a fire in our spare room, refused to do any school work, lied to us everyday, told us lies about his mother abusing him, (which in turn we went to court and won custody of him). We were stupid enough to believe him at the time....then after court he admitted to lying about everything. He said "I told you she abused me just so it would look better in court."
He has convinced Johnathon not to listen to us, only to listen to him, has lied to all of his counsellors, teachers, family members, tried to tell my husband I was cheating on him (because Keith was mad at me)....that's his way of "punishing" someone when he's angry.
He told his teacher that my husband beat him, then the teacher called Child Services. She told us she didn't believe him, but it was her job to call, that's fine. When the worker came to our house Keith admitted to lying and said Ron did not hit him. The worker told us to get out more, and that Keith was pushing our buttons.Johnathon has been diagnosed with ADHD/Mood Disorder, when he was 4. He started meds at age 5. School has always been hard for him, as with all ADHD kids. Home life hasn't been a bowl of cherries either. Johnathon has always been a violent and very hyper little boy. The older he got the worse his temper became. He has punched holes in his bedroom walls, our living room walls, broken our things, broken his own things. >:(He had issues when he was younger, but now that he's 12, he refuses to listen to us, (no help from Keith). He looks up to Keith like he's a God because Johnathon has always had a hard time making/keeping friends. When Keith moved in he was the friend that couldn't run away.
With the 2 of them teaming up against us things got worse day by day.
Johnathon's anger got so out of control that one day after Keith told a lie about him, Johnathon jumped out of his bedroom window. :'(That day Ron & I went to Child Serives (in Canda it's called CAS). We explained our situation and they told us we had the option to put the kids in Tempoary Care. That was suppose to last for 6 months. Johnathon went a Group Home where he contracted a skin infection, >:(and we brought him home....he was only there for 1 month. Keith went to a Foster Home, and was spoiled rotten. >:(The foster parents believed all of his lies. So that idea didn't work.
When both boys were brought home, we tried to start over. That didn't work eiher. They continued lying, refusing to listen, and continued to steal....now from my work.As if stealing $50 and lots of other things from us wasn't enough!!They were caught on camera and by a fellow employee. No charges were laid. Keith physically pushed Ron during an argument, and Johnathon threated to hit Ron over the head with a guitar.
We have now placed them back in Foster Care. This time they are together and only 2 blocks away from our house. Their behaviors are still out of control. Keith told another lie at school, said that Ron threw him down a flight of stairs. We live in a very small town, and people at my work were talking about that before I even heard about it!!!They are putting the foster mother through hell! (I'll call her "Pat")I talk to her everyday, and the boy's behaviors have not changed.
They have NO respect for other people, their belongings,(they have destryoed the room they have at Pat's house) they act like it's all our fault that they are there.....which it is not ALL our fault! We don't want them there, we want them home, and we want to have a normal family!! You know, where everyone lives under the same roof!!
I found out today that all the stories Keith has been telling me over the past few months are all lies!!! He's there for that reason! He doesn't know I'm in constant contact with the foster parents, and I tell them everything.
Johnathon told me that Keith wants to be moved to a different foster home because he wants to play video games and watch movies that are rated 'R'. He's not allowed to do this where he is now. Well obviously he's only 13!!!
What I don't understand is whenever I talk to Johnathon he always asks when he can come home. Keith NEVER asks! I know he wants to be moved from the foster home because Pat knows he's a liar and he can't get away with anything. He told us that. He also told her he wants to be moved.
Shouldn't his first priority to be to come home? Not to be moved somewhere else?
I know Johnathon wants to come home, and I know Keith doesn't.
They are in a level 4 foster home, they get counselling from the foster parents, and are helped daily dealing with day to day problems. It's a perfect place for them to be.It's like intense therapy for them. It was NOT an easy decision for Ron & I to come to, but we know this is the best thing for our kids right now because we can't handle their behaviors. We want to get them the help they need, and we had to come to the conclusion that we can't give them what they need. There's nothing more difficult then waking up every morning and not having your kids running through the house.
But, we had to do something, and that was our last option. Everyday things were getting worse, and I was on the verge of a breakdown. Ron has high blood pressure and I was scared that one day I would find him dead of a heart attack. We are going to start having visits with the kids within the next couple weeks. I don't know how that will go. We are still angry at them for the way they have been behaving, and I'm not sure how they will react to us.
I heard today from our worker that the kids told theri worker they don't want visits with us. I don't believe Johnathon would say that, noone believes he said that. But after the conversation I had with keith I don't doubt he said it. I was talking to the boys one night and Johnathon said "Keith wants to come home to play 'Halo'." (A game for the XBox) I said "Neither one of you will be playing that because it's rated 'R'." Johnathon told Keith that and Keith got really mad. He's upset now because of a stupid game!!!! What about his parents??
Sorry this is so long, but alot of members have been asking about what my life is like. I could go on, but I don't think you all have time to read a book!!
There are marriages out there that haven't or are not surviving lesser circumstances. Hang on to each other (you each and your spouses) and remember there is a group of people here who love you both and want nothing more than to help you! ;D 
Your in my prayers
