not giving up getting on track

[babytay]

I went home yesterday and got myself together. I get real down sometimes but when I look at my boy I know I have to keep trying.
I was really feeling like I am letting down everyone here who has given me some much good advise. I know better now.

My son told me this morning that he didnt have any friends and wanted to know why it was so hard for him to make friends. Well he used to ask these questions before he started meds. It seems like a flash back. Lately we havent been using meds or natural methods because I am letting him get everything out of his system and I am going to start from scratch with something I dont know what yet.

Everyone who answered me eariler really helped me you just dont know how much.

One person mentioned the parents of ADHD children are sometimes ADHD themselves. I dont know about most parents but I am almost positive I am. I also have a history of mental illness in my family. My mother has been in a mental hosipital since I was a child this year will make 27yrs for her. My Grandfather and my mothers brother also have problems. Believe it or not this is the only place I have ever mentioned this to anyone not even my on husband. This is one of the reasons I know I have to keep trying to help my son. I dont want him to have to go through what my Mother has. I know some people will think this is insane but I havent even told his Doctor because I thought it would make him give my son an unfair evaluation.

Well anyway thankyou everyone again and I am back on track.

[AnneM]

Hi Babytay ... a BIG GOOD LUCK in whatever way forward you decide on ... It sounds to me like you are a huge advocate for your son ... I am sure you will come to the right decision on the way forward....

I am sure your son will not have the same problems that your poor Mum has had ... with the advantage of today's knowledge and available help (which was never around back when your Mum was young) and your own knowledge and determination - it will make a HUGE difference to your little guy ....

... And along the way .. when you need to vent or talk to someone you know where to come!!

GOOD LUCK BABYTAY!

[Honeysmom]

Babytay, I was trying to respond to you yesterday when my whole world caved in so I never got a chance. But I wanted to tell you not to be so hard on yourself. You are a good mom. And sometimes no matter what we decide it seems like the wrong choice for our kids. We just keep doing our best.

Please do not feel like you have to hide anything or be ashamed about your family's mental illnesses from us. I have not met one person on this board that has been judgemental about what anyone has. I think many of us have been treated for things ourselves. I have been on more anti-depressants than you can shake a stick at. I just started Adderall a few weeks back. Some people I would not tell that to, but I know here it is always safe.

I also understand about not wanting to share with the doctor for fear of an unfair dx. I usually want to wait until after the dx to tell all of what the family has, or usually I hold back the story of someone on Dh's side who tried to stab her hubby with a meat fork. It happend years ago, way before my time with him, but it does make for a pretty good story.

Anne is totally right. Any type of mental illness was seen very differently years ago. We have advanced so much in the last 20 years. Don't let fear keep you from getting the help you guys need.

I am glad to see you are feeling a little better. Sometimes encouragement and a good nights sleep will do that!!!

Becky ;D

[hopeful]

I am so glad I read your post tonight. I'm feeling down, my son's meds that were working great nolonger are. For my own family, I've suffered from depression from the moment I bacame pregnant, and yes, I wanted and planned my baby. 2 of my brothers have severe anxiety and my father is on his 4th wife. My husband is adopted but I'm sure there are some problems with his birth family on his father's side (we know his bio-mom). I agree about not telling the doc everything so they don't automaticly diagnose anything and everything.

We are in the process of weening my son from his current batch of meds. We're back to where we were before. My husband needs to be reminded that what we are dealing with now is just like it was before medication. He totally forgets until I remind him. He likes to blame anything bad on the meds. I don't think it's the meds that are creating this awful time we're having. I think it's the meds not working anymore.

My son is angry and frustrated. He's distracted beyond belief. He hyperfocuses on EVERYTHING that catches his eye. And yesterday we find out he needs oral surgery. For some reason, it didn't bother him the 1st time he needed it, thank god it's not bothering him now. But that is probably the only thing that isn't bothering him.

I too look at him and see that I can't give up. I've seen what life is like when he's on track. If feels like no amount of good parenting skills help him, unless he's able to focus. Sometimes I just want to screem, but I know that makes it worse. When I can, I just go for a drive alone in my car, listen to whatever music I want, and I cry. I think I'll try that tomorrow.

I wish I knew what track to take. He's already on a good diet. He's been taking omega 3's and multi vitamins for 7 months now. In April it will be a year that he's been in behavior management. I don't even want to mention how much money has been spent.

I will not stop looking for the right track to get on. I know you won't either. I'm sorry I'm on such a bummer, but I want you to know that you are not alone. Together with the help of others on this board we'll be able to figure it all out.

[rosyred45]

I'm glad no one is decieding to give up, I don't think I'd be able to handle talking to my self. I do that enough around the house as it is.

I give you hope that yours will be a little better with the hugs and kisses that you give. The strength that you resonate for your children will help them in the end.

Where ever, whoever, and how ever you get through, just remember we all love y'all and we are always here.
Kaiti

[catatonic]

Hopeful, your post brought back one particularly humiliating memory of mine. I went out one time, driving around crying with depressing music on, the baby asleep in the back seat. It was pitch dark and pouring rain and I guess I wasn't paying as much attention to my driving as I should have been because I got stopped by the police. Naturally the baby woke up when the car stopped and added her crying to the whole wonderful event. The officer must have thought I was going to drive my car off the bridge or something because he kept asking if I was allright or if I was upset about something. Duuuuh. Like people always drive around at night in a storm crying their heads off with a screaming baby in the back. The big jerk even gave me a ticket!!! Now I confine my fits of angst to the bubble bath where there aren't any stop signs and I don't get stuck with a $100 fine. If a "good" diet hasn't worked for you, you might want to take a look at the Feingold diet ( www.feingold.org ). It's worked wonders for us, along with eliminating a couple of problem foods that ALWAYS cause behavioral reactions in my boy. (Corn syrup and chocolate are the big offenders.) There are also a couple of additional vitamins/supplements that might help you. Take a look at the "Natural" board for suggestions. I find lots of wonderful help there.

[hopeful]

Thanks you Catatonid. We've tried the diets and that didn't help. We tried eliminating certain foods. He HATES chocolate anyhow. We tried all those things before turning to meds.

Thanks for the driving story. As it turned out, I just sat in my car in the driveway and cried.

[mctavish23]

Hi,

I wanted to offer my support for you and encourage you to hang in there. Someone far wiser than me has always reminded me that..."This too shall pass."

Take care.


mctavish23(Robert)

[finnmom]

Yes! It shall past, althought time before that seems really miserable

There has been, and no doupt that there will be, days when only thing that I´ve been able to do has been crying and there has been time´s when only sencier think to do seemed to be screeming out loud. fortunately those days do go away and better time´s will follow them

Catatonic, I bet it wasnt any funny that ime, but now your story sounds so humoristic ;D I´d also prefer bubblebath´s ;D

Everyone; Hang in there! :)I can´t cope without you!
Marja