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Post by TexasMom on May 19, 2004 23:16:22 GMT -5
I just found out that the bullying that Steven has had to put up with all year long continues. Steven had an project for social studies, an anaconda he made out of clay that a kid broke to pieces just before class started today. The teacher and councelor handled it, but...
He's been spat on and called names and everything this year. He's going to middle school next year, so I've put off doing anything, but it occurrs to me that it might be a good idea to put him into another middle school. One where ALL the kids don't know him. He has a reputation given to him by his third grade teacher of being weird. This might give him a fresh start.
Also, there is a chance that for 7th grade we will be going back to Colorado, so this will be the only year in middle school in Texas (please God!). I swear, between the bullies and the Taks, I wonder how the kids learn anything!
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Post by rosyred45 on May 20, 2004 4:57:01 GMT -5
((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))
For Linda AND Steven.
I don't use the word hate very often, but I HATE to see kids get bullied. I got bullied, my kids were getting bullied. One big cycle.
Has it not come to the attention of the school that this is going on? As you said he's been bullied all year. We had a guy come into our school for bullying prevention, not that all of the kids listened, but some did.
One thing that struck me is that this guy said for the bullied kids to
Be Direct: tell the bully I don't like being bullied so stop. Ok, I know I've tried that one when I was little and it didn't work, BUT what did work was to not let the bully get under my skin.
Ask questions: What makes you think that you have the right to bully me? What are you hoping to achieve? And my favorite: I knkow your bullying behavior is an attempt to make yourself feel better. How's it working?
Offer to be helpful: How can I help you with your problem? Change the angle that they are coming from. They won't be expecting it.
Use humor: My sneakers told me they don't care about how you feel about them.
Behave unpredictably: start singing Jingle Bells, congradulate them on a good try, dance around them.
I know you said Steven was labeled as weird by a 3rd grade teacher, so that last one, could either be taken as a "yeah he's definately wierd" from the kids OR it could just make the bullies uninterested because they don't know how to respond to it.
Let me know how you make out. I don't really know about moving him to another school, but it sounds tempting. That would just make the bullies think they won so to speak.
I Hate bullies
Kaiti
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Post by Linda on May 20, 2004 6:32:55 GMT -5
I agree with EVERYTHING kaiti has said..but their are bullys where ever you go so I don't think changing schools will help.I think at some point Steven is going to have enough and he is going to "fight" his attackers.
We are going through the same thing right now with Paul's little brother and his little tormentors have found out you dodn't mess with this "gramma".Our district has security,and it is usually based at the middle and high schools,but they are sometimes called in to the elementary schools.Is this an option for you? O r even the police if you have to.
I feel bad for you and Steven because it is such an ongoing problem.Sorry for rambling here...but bullies really tick me off.
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Post by camismom on May 20, 2004 7:26:07 GMT -5
In our school district, bullying is a definite no-no! The district I work for has really cracked down on bullying this year because a girl was killed at the first of the year by a boy who shot a gun he brought to school to defend himself from his bullies. Anyway, check into your school district's policies on bullying and go from there. We have a policy that a bully can actually be sent to alternative school if other punishments such as ISS and OSS have already been implemented and the bullying continues. Sometimes it is hard to prove, esp. if the bully has friends that lie for him/her and stand up for him/her. But if the teacher and counselor had to intervene to take care of the broken project incident, then they are already aware/witnesses to the problem. I would definitely file a complaint if I were you. Even if you do put your child in a different school next year. Bullies need to learn they can't do this and get away with it, and once your son is gone, they will just find another victim.
As far as another school next year, I would say go with your gut. Also, how does your son feel about it? If this is something he wants then why not? As long as he looks at it as a fresh start, and not running from the problem. This is why I suggest you file the complaint one way or another, because this teaches him that you have to fight for what you think is right.
Good luck!
I'm with Kaiti..... I hate bullies!
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Post by rosyred45 on May 20, 2004 8:13:41 GMT -5
One thing that I already do woth my SACC kids is call them on EVERYTHING. I told them that if they are going to be in my program, their going to treat EVERYONE else with respect. Even if the person or persons are not a part of the program, they are under my care and I don't tolerate put downs. I try to let the older kids have their own space when it comes to getting away from the younger ones, so they can have some time to talk about what they want, BUT they know my ear is ALWAYS glued to their conversations. Everything is my business because I am in charge. They have gotten alot better since the gentleman that has been coming around talking about bullying. Some of the little guys are still feeling themselves through, but they also know that I listen, even if I don't look like I'm paying attention. Then they ask how I know what they said or did. I'm a mom  I know it all Kaiti |
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Post by TexasMom on May 20, 2004 21:55:24 GMT -5
Steven is basically leaving the decision up to me. And it should be at this point.
The teacher had no control over his class, I sat in with him a couple of times and was almost shocked by the lack of control I wanted to move him then, but Steven like the teacher. Any problems I have gone to the conselor and I have taught Steven to go to the counselor. What bothers me now, is that the problems I learn about from Steven.
I am going to carefully consider moving him, BUT I will seriously consider putting in a formal complaint with the district. The informal ones school are almost a waste of time.
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Post by rosyred45 on May 21, 2004 4:24:55 GMT -5
Do you think that maybe the teacher was nervous that you were there? I know that when parents are around my program the kids start acting wild. Thus in order to calm them down I need to get louder than I usually do. Maybe he's afraid that if you heard him holloar at the kids, you'd be upset.
I've had parents come at me from both ends. Some say something along the lines of, Oh your don't need to hollar, they're being kids. While others say It's about time they get talked to about being loud and unruly.
OK, I just had to reread for a refresher, but since you said you sat in there a couple times, it's not just a one time thing.
I would definately do the formal complaint. I would do it over and over and over until it stopped. They are responsible for the well being of your child during the school day. If he has to worry about bullies, it isn't any wonder how they can't learn.
Hoep today is brighter for you
Kaiti
((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))
The squeeky wheel gets the grease
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