UGH! Here we go.......

[Eye]

Well, we went to the second meeting with teachers and conselors yesterday. First one is under the "Teacher's don't get it" thread...

Anyway, it seems that our son has NO LDs other than ADHD. . So that's a huge relief for us. They are going to impliment a 504 plan for us. Which SHOULD work out ok... Except for 2 of his teachers. IMAGINE THAT!

His main teacher and his science teacher....

Here's what's going on. Our son has a daily planner, that he forgets to write in. Or " Doesn't have time". The teacher says,"The assignments are on the board first thing in the morning, so he should be writing them down then" YEAH RIGHT!

Now, here's my thing.... Every day for the past 6 years he has been taking meds, EVERYDAY! But, every day for the past 6 years, we STILL have to remind him to take them in the morning. He forgets.

If he's forgetting something as important as his meds, how is he going to remember something as silly as his planner?

I told the counselor this yesterday. If he's not writing down his assignments, how am I supposed to know what is due, and if something isn't done? And the teacher does nothing to let us know about them...

Her policy is, the missing assignments are on her board, and the kids are supposed to look them up themselves. THE KID CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER HIS MEDS!

So, the parent is more than welcome to come up to school and look at the paper.. I understand the concept. But I don't have time everyday to run up to school... The teacher is ALREADY THERE! Why the heck can't she just send me a note?!!!!

Not that I won't do it. But the teacher just seems to make everyone work harder than she has to.

So, my husband and I told the conselor yesterday that we want the teacher to check the planner everyday at the end of the day, to make sure he's written in it. And to put it in the 504... Which won't go into effect til next week sometime, but as we were leaving, we saw the conselor, his teacher, and the science teacher arguing!!! No kidding!

I just don't understand why these teachers want to make it more difficult for him to learn!! It doesn' t make sense to me!

Anyway, that's where we're at now. As of today, he's missing many assignments, including a 6 page autobiography that was due yesterday.

I guess I'm going to go up there today and write down ALL of his missing assignments so he can work on them this weekend.

What I really want to do, is to write a note to the teacher and tell her to send me a list of all the missing assignments WITH instructions!!

OH, yeah! I just remembered... His science project is late, and I told him to get a new copy of the instructions from the teacher, cuz he lost his. OF COURSE! And do you know that she told him SHE DOESN'T HAVE ANY MORE!!!! Can you believe that!

[camismom]

Pardon me for saying so, but it sounds like you are dealing with a major BUTTHEAD for a teacher! But there is a way around it and you are already getting it in place - the 504! This little baby can MAKE her do the things your child needs, including making sure his assignments are written in the planner, and giving him another copy of instructions if he lost the original, etc. Get these things in that 504! If she doesn't have another copy, then make one by God! Teachers really boil my blood sometime!! Sounds like you're on the right road though, so keep it up, and remember the end of the year is drawing closer and next year will be a whole new teacher to deal with.

By the way, what grade is your child in? I mean, a six page autobiography?? Geez!

[rosyred45]

Speaking as a mom that will have a 504 next year, pray that I don't get one of those nasty teachers who thinks their stuff don't stink.

Speaking as a daughter of a teacher, she has a boy in her class-8th grader-who they still have to do that with. It's just a double check, so that his mom doesn't have to come BACK to the school and that the teacher knows he knows what is expected of him. If he has any questions, mom triple checks that because most of the time he says nope, but when it comes down to it, he does need a little direction. And his mom greatly appreciates it.

OK, written by a daughter who is actually appreciating her mother ;D--
Kaiti

[camismom]

Kaiti, your mom is one of those rare breeds of teachers now that actually care about the students.... can we clone her?? ;D

[Eye]

Camismom.. He's 12 and in the 6th grade.. Look what you get to look forward to!! LOL!!!

I wish I could have your mom as his teacher! For the most part he's had some really great teachers..

But this one is a looloo!

[camismom]

Eye, check out my signature at the bottom of my posts... my dd is 12 and in the 6th grade too! I'm already there.... Another thing to add to that 504 is reduced writing assignments. In the future that six page paper might could be reduced to three! Good luck!

[Eye]

Sorry Christy!!! ;D LOL!!! I'm definately looking forward to the 504!!! It's crazy what they expect of him!

Last night he had to do a word search about baseball words, and there wasn't a list of words. They had to guess the words from definitions! I know NOTHING about baseball! And there were 30 of them!!!!

[camismom]

And what exactly is that supposed to help them learn? A hatred of baseball maybe??

[Eye]

I actually made 4 phone calls to people who I thought might know the answers!! My poor kid was so worried about getting any of them wrong! We left 2 blank. What are ya gonna do?!

I HATE HOMEWORK!

[finnmom]

Eye

That theacher sound´s very wierd, does she think that kid´s shouldn´t bother her at school at all I think theacher´s should help kid´s, not hinder I´am glad you got that 504, then you can demand her to work as the best for your child

Good luck to you, dont give up!

Marja

[rosyred45]

Thanks for the compliment, I'll pass it on to her.

NOW GEE, I'm really excited, although Mikey loves crosswords and all that, that wouldn't bother him. He hates to write.....and he's only SIX

GOD GIVE ME STRENGTH.
Kaiti
p.s. I'm going to go make a poll concerning teachers and workshops. I would love to hear what y'all have to say

[callincolyn]

I'm new to this site and I have to say I'm having the same thing happen with several of my son's teachers. His Spanish teacher is the worst this year (7th grade). He has gone from an F up to a C and now back down to an F. He does the work PLUS more from either me or the tutor I'm paying but something happens in between him finishing the assignments and her checking them in. Also, it looks like all forgeign language classes in our junior highs are going to be cut for next year; so if she gives him a bad grade, what do I say to him? It doesn't matter, it's okay because there's no more language program?? I have taken to making the school social worker FAX me his weekly list of missing assignments every Friday so that, when he gets home and calls me, I can go over it and make him go back to school to get it if he didn't bring the work home. He also has a planner, school supplied (paid for by the ridiculous fees), that he hates and just about refuses to use. Ever since I introduced him to the world of assignment notebooks, he has seemed to refuse to use them. He doesn't have a diagnosis yet but I have to say that everything I've read about inattentive ADD describes him. He loses assignments, goes to class without a pen or pencil, forgets binders and books in his locker, loses homework and instructions all the time and always has. He puts off homework until the night before it's due. In conversations with me, he changes the subject mid-sentence. He often seems like he hasn't heard me because he won't respond to what I've said and jumps to something else and if I make him look at me he can repeat what I've said. I've joined this site because I'm honestly at my wits end! If he is diagnosed with inattentive ADD, that may explain why I'M so bloody wiped out all the time and depressed. I'm a single mom and have to handle all of this myself, although it looks like most of the people who post on this site are women as well. He has an appointment with his pediatrician next Thursday to get going on figuring out if he's got it. It has been a long ugly road so far but there has to be a way to make his education less painful for both of us! How long has it taken to get your children diagnosed and were there false negatives along the way? This school year has only 7 more weeks, then he has to go 200 miles away to spend the summer at his father's. I don't know if it would be a bad or good idea to get him on meds before the end of school, then have him disappear where I can't monitor his behavior and side effects; then again, is it a disservice to him NOT to at least give him a couple of weeks of focus in school so the year doesn't end as a disaster? I don't know what to do. If he's diagnosed before the end of the school year, I'm going to discuss it with him and let him know the options since he's 12 and see how he feels about it. Can you tell I'm spinning my wheels?

~AW

[rosyred45]

Welcome home Callincolyn

You will find the the most understanding people here. It's not all women, but predominately. The guys here a OK, just don't tell them too much they might get a big head and think they are in charge or something( ;D)

All kidding aside. Time and time again I have asked what I thought were stupid questions, made comments that I wasn't sure would be taken the right way, and I still get the love and support from an honest and loving family. We are non judgemental and everyone is here to help everyone else.

Again Welcome
Kaiti

[callincolyn]

Thanks much, Rosyred45. For the past 4 years I've thought my son was acting out or lazy or defiant and this has made me start to feel like I'm losing my mind, literally. I don't know how much more I can take without losing my seams. I've cried myself to sleep trying to figure out how I'm going to pay for tutors and how to get some response from my son's school, to no avail. I've decided that there HAS to be a better way and I need to change my expectations of him and go back to staying on top of his assignments and homework for him and try to figure out what might work. I've spent years doing the same thing and expecting him to pick up some responsibility as he grows, but it's not happening with his school work. Of course it figures that we went through a contentious divorce and his father has been a hinderence over the past 8 years - it figures, doesn't it? His father's wife is more interested in our son's education than his dad, but she keeps making suggestions of things I've already tried and don't work. I'm trying to keep my head together so both my son and I can figure this out without me falling apart. I'll figure something out; I always do, if only temporary.

[rosyred45]

Well, I'm not sure of where you are, but hasn't the school said anything about there being a problem? Or I guess since it might be the innatentive, that's why, he's not hyper and jumping all over (like mine, he's 6 and my what an energy level)

And if your ex's wife has been ok and trying to be helpful, would she be able to help out with observations or do you think he might act differently being with his father anyhow? As far as the summer goes anyhow.

Vent away....I always do
Kaiti