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Post by AnneM on Feb 5, 2004 12:51:30 GMT -5
Wow ... everything has been running along lovely and smoothly this academic year (and looking back two years ago this is a MIRACLE!) ... However, today my 15 year old came home and told me that he was in the playground talking to some friends ... he stepped backwards right onto the foot of the Head of English!! .. He had no idea the teacher was standing there right behind him and it was a sheer accident which I know the teacher himself also accepts ... BUT the teacher gave him a 1 hour detention for being clumsy and behaving (his words) like an "egg" ... Sam (being impulsive and easily angered if he feels an injustice is being done!) ripped up the detention slip and walked away ... Uh Oh !! ... In retrospect Sam realises that the smart thing to do would have been to instantly apologise ... which he didn't think about at the time!! (I think he was too surprised and shocked to have stepped backwards onto a teacher!! :  I am wondering whether to "intervene" here and contact the teacher direct - Sam is quite prepared to either apologise OR do the detention next week ... I want the teacher to know that and I want to nip this in the bud before this blows up which I know from experience seemingly 'small' things CAN do!! ... What do you think?? |
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Post by finnmom on Feb 5, 2004 12:57:35 GMT -5
Anne  Wau, that must have been quite a shock to Sam, steppimg to theacher´s toe´s ;D For your question; could/would Sam reach to the theacher by himself, apologise and explain mayby  If he will not do that, then I think you should if Sam also agree´s with it. I woulnd´t do anything behind your son´s back ;D Hopely this wount turn to snowball, getting bigger and bigger...... good luck! Marja |
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Post by eaccae on Feb 5, 2004 13:00:51 GMT -5
I am thinking that maybe Sam could write an apology note tonight to give to the teacher tomorrow? Apologizing for the accident - that he didn't know he was standing behind him, etc. And then apologizing for ripping up the detention slip. That he would appreciate if he didn't have to go to detention because it was truly an accident but he is willing to do it, etc.
It might show the teacher that he is willing to take responsibility, etc. and then the teacher might not feel that "mom" is trying to get him off (even though i feel that Sam is justified and so are you).
Just a thought. Either way - it probably good for either Sam to write a letter or you to intervene so a misunderstanding of the events doesn't, as you indicated, blow up out of proportion.
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Post by camismom on Feb 5, 2004 13:34:57 GMT -5
OK, I'm going to be the trouble-maker here ;D... BUT .... he stepped on the teacher by accident and he get's detention for it?! That is ridiculous! I don't blame him for ripping up the note!!
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Post by Linda on Feb 5, 2004 14:05:33 GMT -5
I am with camismom here Anne....It was an accident so I don't know why the teacher is making a big deal out of it. I had to laugh too,cause I could see Paul tearing up that slip too..plus going over the teachers head and reporting him.  |
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Post by ohmama on Feb 5, 2004 14:23:02 GMT -5
I think that if or when he writes an apology note he should explain, in a very innocent way, that he ripped up the slip because he felt the teacher was abusing his power since it was an accident and this is what made him angry. And maybe add that he is struggling to understand why this would result in a punishment even though he is willing to trust that he should be held accountable for his mistake because he has respect for the position a teacher has. It may make the teacher examine his conscience.
It may be a little tricky to word it so as not to sound like a complaint but rather an apology. He will probably need your help with this.
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Post by AnneM on Feb 5, 2004 15:10:15 GMT -5
Oh THANKYOU everyone ... !! ...and thankyou also for making me laugh about this and relating to it so well!... Marja you are SOO right that the shock it gave Sam to find himself stepping on the Head of English's foot was HUGE !! ;D and I think everyone of us feels that there was definitely justification here for Sam feeling this was a definite "inuustice!" ... In sympathy (briefly ;D) with the teacher I know the feeling when you feel sudden unexpected physical pain it can make you "instantly angry" ... BUT..... BUT !!!! Sam says... "Let's wait and see what happens ... " He is prepared to apologise OR will accept a new detention slip (albeit begrudgingly!) if given one ... BUT he says there is no way he is doing BOTH !! Meantime I am 'holding back' from adding my 2 cents worth to the teacher (with difficulty!  )... at 15 I guess he need to manage these things independently ... Do you also ever think of your kids "It could only happen to HIM/HER" ... I mean there were a whole BUNCH Of kids in that playground and WHO ends up stepping on the teacher's foot ... SAM of course !! ... |
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Madison
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Tomorrow is another day............
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Post by Madison on Feb 5, 2004 16:14:07 GMT -5
Hi,
Dealing with a EXPLOSIVE tempered kid myself I DO know what your going through!! Seems like he's always going through something with a certain teacher he DOESN'T like! The last thing was about his GLASSES. She thought he was wearing SUNGLASSES but they are his prescription glasses. Teacher told him "Hey, are those sunglasses?" He replied 'NO' and she kept at him and said "Well, I'm going to ask your homeroom teacher about those glasses." He said 'GOOD!' I guess she asked about them and homeroom teacher cleared it up but my boy with his aditude that no one gonna be one up on him says going out the door at the end of the day "HEY...Make sure you ask my teacher about these glasses!!" See.....He COULDN'T let sleeping dogs lie!! He's always got a SMART reply and hate to say it when I get upset at his daddy/my husband I DO THE VERY SAME THING!!! It's terrible....he can make me so mad sometimes and my boy has learned the FINE ARTS of turning around words on people!! ;D ;D ;D ;D His homeroom teacher loves him to pieces which I'm thankful for! She backs him up alot but he's got a mouth on him! He's got to learn not to talk back to teachers. They accused him and another boy of "Horsing around" and they had all the boys write something like 30 times "I will respect hallway rules, etc, etc" but he said 'MOM....I DIDN'T DO IT and they grouped me in with a bunch of boys." I said "That doesn't matter just DO WHAT they want you to do and let it be over!!" He HATED to write all of that and I totally BELIEVE him completely so he was able to do this writting because he knew I BELIEVED HIM it smoothed things over. It doen't pay to make waves in my book. Hope this helps...madison
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Post by Honeysmom on Feb 5, 2004 17:45:16 GMT -5
I am totally the one that this kind of stuff happens to. I think some people are just prone to either bad luck, or lots of "learning experiences."
I agree the detention was too harsh a penalty. But I am also suprised that he didn't get another one for ripping up the slip. It is great that he stood up for himself though.
I also agree that he is getting to the age that he may need to fight some of his own battles. If the teacher persists in making life hard for him, or picking on him then I would intervene. It will be good for him to handle it on his own.
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Post by AnneM on Feb 6, 2004 12:39:17 GMT -5
Thanks Madison and Honeysmom ... I don't think this is any kind of "personal vendetta" with the teacher concerned ... in fact the teacher ISN'T even one of Sam's own teachers!! ... He is the Head of English who just "happened" to be standing right behind him at that point in time ... (Wrong place, Wrong time!!) ...
I think Sam WILL get another detention slip... I don't think he will get out of that one ... Madison I could very much relate to your story ;D ... although the explosiveness has really decreased hugely in the past couple of years ... but there have always been times when Sam just HAS to add "one more inappropriate comment" ... which over the years has got him in trouble on more than one occasion! He also has a huge sense of when something is an "injustice" or "not fair" ... and it is a bitter pill to swallow when he has to write lines or do detentions for something he feels is unjustified...
On the other side of the coin however, he has no problems with it at all when he KNOWS he has been "out of order" ... if he himself feels he deserves a punishment he takes it with no questions asked ... but if he DOESN'T feel he deserves it then he will react against it ... its a tough one ... and I also have on occasions said "Right or wrong ... Just DO it Sam and get it over and done with ... " and generally he DOES once he has got over the initial indignation ...
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Post by Honeysmom on Feb 6, 2004 16:51:02 GMT -5
Anne, it is nice to know that when he has to add "just one last comment" it is usually about something he feels strongly about. Many kids are just plain disrespectful to others, but he seems to have a pretty good head on his shoulders. It is great to stand up when you feel something is wrong. IMHO, is shows a great deal of confidence. Good for him and good for you for raising him that way. ;D
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Post by AnneM on Feb 7, 2004 12:37:51 GMT -5
Anne, it is nice to know that when he has to add "just one last comment" it is usually about something he feels strongly about. Many kids are just plain disrespectful to others, but he seems to have a pretty good head on his shoulders. It is great to stand up when you feel something is wrong. IMHO, is shows a great deal of confidence. Good for him and good for you for raising him that way. ;D THANKYOU Honeysmom....  That is a really nice thing to say ... |
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Post by tridlette on Feb 7, 2004 14:40:01 GMT -5
I am probably the trouble maker here... but why was the head teacher standing so close that he was able to be stepped on? It would seem to me that he was really invading personal space by being that close. As I said, I may be stirring up trouble, but it just seems that a child on the playground should not have a teacher hovering over his shoulder. The boy is 15 and has not been know to cause problems, so therefore, what was the circumstance that brought the two into such close proximity?
Hopefully, there is a perfectly reasonable explanation. But before I would step back and allow "justice" to be done, I would like to have that question answered.
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Post by AnneM on Feb 8, 2004 10:47:16 GMT -5
I am probably the trouble maker here... but why was the head teacher standing so close that he was able to be stepped on? It would seem to me that he was really invading personal space by being that close. As I said, I may be stirring up trouble, but it just seems that a child on the playground should not have a teacher hovering over his shoulder. The boy is 15 and has not been know to cause problems, so therefore, what was the circumstance that brought the two into such close proximity? Hopefully, there is a perfectly reasonable explanation. But before I would step back and allow "justice" to be done, I would like to have that question answered. A good question tridlette !! I am going to ask Sam when he comes home later ... Sam DID comment to me that he really didn't like the fact the teacher was standing "right behind him" ... but I don't know the reason the teacher was there in the first place ... I will ask him!! |
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Madison
Member
Tomorrow is another day............
Posts: 90
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Post by Madison on Feb 8, 2004 13:22:00 GMT -5
The trouble my kid has with certain teachers aren't his teachers either and it's USUALLY a teacher alot of kids have trouble with! The kids feel that certain teachers are some kind of watch dogs. Mine feels they are jumping on his back and others for no good reason just ANYTHING to be on them about and when that happens those kids come back at them full force! Mine is terrible about the "You aren't going to tell me what to do and will always have his last word!" It's getting to the place that he has asked me "Have the school called today about anything?" They usually HAVEN'T but then I'm like "What did you say or do?" The glasses was the last thing. My kid has ALL THE TROUBLE with the YOUNGER teachers!!!! It's terrible. The older teachers that have been there for like 30yrs...NO PROBLEMS but those younger teachers are always trying to pin stuff and yell at the students. I've gotten SOOOO lucky not to have to go to the princible office over what has been said or done! take care...madison
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