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Post by GSDMommy on Nov 14, 2003 20:09:38 GMT -5
Hey all, I hope no one minds, but I need to vent. This week has been a very tough one. It all started with Sunday night, we had a fire in our garage <husband didn't put his cig all the way out in a plant's soil <which has fertilizer in it>. Then after recovering from this, Monday  I get a call from a staffer at the placement who is telling me there's nothing wrong with my son and he wants to "mentor" him. I try to tell him that my son is high functioning and isn't fine, he has problems. He blows me off and is telling me he wants to take him to church with him, educate him etc...this doesn't sit well with me. Tuesday I get a call that my son <who is in an out of home placement> needs to be hospitalized. I got home Wednesday morning around 2am. Today we had our first "family session" with me on speakerphone and he is telling us he knows he is messed up in the head and doesn't plan on getting better, he refuses to use any of the help anyone can give him. So, needless to say discharge planning has hit a standstill. I am sorry to complain, but this has been more than my psyche can handle. My husband says I am being distant so I feel like I am being inconsiderate of the family at home, and everything is just getting overwhelming. This is my oldest son's 5th hospitalization. I hope it is his last....but it doesn't look like it. thanx for listening....... this weekend is going to be tough, we are going to visit him. Anyone have spare prayers not doing anything I could use them. We all could. |
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Post by catseye on Nov 14, 2003 20:15:34 GMT -5
Ok you beat my week... I am so very sorry!!! Hang in there.... And yes my prayers are out for the takeing my dear, and they are all yours!! Good luck
cat
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Post by Linda on Nov 14, 2003 20:54:28 GMT -5
Vent all you want....you will find much support here...I am so sorry to hear all that has happened to you  How old is your son? This has to be the worst for you. Check back with us and give a update. |
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Post by loveforeric on Nov 14, 2003 20:55:29 GMT -5
:(Wow! You are having a hard time and should know that you are not alone. We are all here for you and my prayers are with you. I hope it is abetter day soon for you and the family. Will also keep your son in our thoughts. Have a peaceful day, Christina  |
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Post by kstquilter on Nov 14, 2003 22:50:43 GMT -5
gsd,
so sorry for you awful week. i also tend to get distant when things get especially bad with dd. i know it hurts everyone including dd but seems to be how i deal with it. guess i'm not sure what else to do.
i feel bad for you and your ds. my daughter finally told me a couple weeks ago how tired she is of needing to take a pill so that she doesn't annoy people. that she knows she drives people crazy sometimes but doesn't know how to stop. she cried some which is unusual for her. but it was the first look i had into how she feels about having adhd.
wonder if this is where your ds is coming from. he may just be tired of trying to fit in and be like others. of taking meds (or not) everyday, etc.
take care of yourself and good luck with your ds. please keep us posted.
karen
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Post by AnneM on Nov 16, 2003 12:30:39 GMT -5
Oh you HAVE had a horrible week .... but as the others say just vent whenever you need to - that is what we are here for ....
I am not surprised you are " Distant" ... you are of course worried and very upset - which makes any one " Distant" !!
Good luck with this weekend .... please let us know how it went.
Anne
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Post by finnmom on Nov 16, 2003 12:37:53 GMT -5
I´am so sorry for your week!!! I hope you´ve got over your visit peacefully and hopely you are feeling better now. this must be so hard fo you! You certainly will get all my prayers, (sound´s like you really have use for them ;D) Hang in there!!
Marja
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Post by Amsmom on Nov 16, 2003 12:47:37 GMT -5
Thinking of you and hoping this weekend went well. I really feel for you. My 7 yo son has not been hospitalized, but there have been some close calls. Do not worry about how you appear to act to others. Your mind and your heart are full, how can you have room for anything else? That is normal and don't worry about it. We always worry about everyone else, don't we? Time to think of yourself and just feel what you feel. It's OK.
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Post by GSDMommy on Nov 17, 2003 11:23:24 GMT -5
Well, the prayers helped. The visit was interesting. I asked him if he was getting help and he was blaming everyone else for stuff. He started a whole group of avoidant behaviors when confronted with the fact that he isn't owning his part in life. He accused the school of conspiracy <where he almost walked into traffic after running off school grounds> and says he is fine. The meds are being managed and one was doubled. I am hoping this turns out well, but at this point I am tired of the whole thing. He is manipulating his way through life and frankly likes being mentally ill. He gets a lot of attention and stuff he normally wouldn't get because he is this way. The downside of the mental health world is they aren't set up to deal with a kid who manipulates this well and uses them to go to theme parks, movies, arcades, etc. What incentive does he have to get well and become a part of the family <we don't do these things, we aren't funded!!>?
I don't know if he ever plans on coming home to be part of the family or if he is figuring out that manipulating people is coming to a halt quickly. I am a tired mom. I have nothing to say to him, he is making up his mind to be a victim instead of proactive about his own mental health. No one will be able to help him until he wants help.
I appreciate the support. There are very few people who have walked this path and usually all you get is judged by others who have no clue. They like to think "it's the parents".......sure, that would make it easy to fix. But, what if it isn't? My case is being shuffled to the back of the case load by his social worker, they can't blame us.....he is the problem. After complete investigations and everything else, they have discovered we are really good parents and know our stuff, but the child isn't doing his share. I have dealt with Child Protective Services because he didn't like us putting restrictions on him. I have dealt with the police after his two assaults on his principal. I have dealt with every health care worker who thought they would start in on the family, only to find out part the way through that they were being manipulated by my son. Gahhh. No one believes me right off the bat. Then they see the behaviors all of a sudden and believe me then.
I am gonna go clean the house, this turned out longer than intended.....LOL.
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