Day at the Pool

[milesofsmiles]

We spent the day at the pool yesterday since it was 95+. We had a great time. Totally wore us out. It gave me a chance to watch my son interact with other kids.

He is far from assertive, even the 2 year olds were pushing in on him. He just let them. I could see the frustraton on his face, but he never let them know it was bothering him. He just let it build and build, until of course we asked him to come over by us. Oh, the explosion occured. Lucky I could distract him with more water play and his hot head quickly melted.

We don't get to watch him during the day, but I suspect that he lets this happen quite a bit to him. We are going to be working on that with him, but we never would have known if it were not for a day at the pool.

I have to admit I am like that too. I will pull back and let things happen and be the last one though the line, or go off and be by myself for a while. The more I see him, the more I see myself in him. I just have to convince him that I really do understand what he is feeling inside and teach him some of the ways I have coped, and things I am still working on.

MIles

[finnmom]

Oh Miles.... that´s the thought one; how to cope with bullying without exploding finally I think knowing your sefl and that it´s just like you´ve done, help´s a lot... you can theach him proper way´s from your experience.

I´am totally opposite(I dont start a fight thou ) I cant stand being bullied at any way, I stand up defending myself(and other´s too) so it´s really hard for me to watch my kid to take it all and then explode to me of all the frustration I guess it´s a tyr and error all the way, they have to learn how to cope at some point..... it´s just hard waiting that to happend

[Linda]

Jacob dealt with so much bullying in school that he started to fight back. He doesn't take any crap off any bully and that worries me too!! I would rather he would walk away and get an adult but that isn't always possible.

[SKay]

DS seems to get bullied too . . . well, some of it might just be teasing that kids do to each other, even their friends. I don't think it's anything really bad. One thing he mentioned was that the kids make noises when he is about to bowl so that he will make a gutter ball. I think he said that they do it to some of the others too. He doesn't sit and take it, but doesn't fight either. I think he just tries to tell the kids to stop. He even told us that he wants to make sure that his grades are bad next year so that he can go to summer school instead of sports camp!!!!

I, on the other hand, took bullying more like your son (I was in Jr high though). I wish I had some advice for you, but I just don't right now.

[milesofsmiles]

When I saw it, I just wanted to see how he handled it. The closer relationship you have with him, the more he is likely to take matters into his own hands. Someone he does not know, he will stand and take it. Me on the other hand he will let his full rage out. He has varying levels of tolerance. He will tell some kids to knock it off, others he will haul off and smack when they push too far. I want him to go and get help in between those extremes. We will make it we have time on our side.

Miles