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Post by Kbugsmom on May 13, 2005 16:24:38 GMT -5
Hi, haven't posted in quite a while. My 7 y.o. daughter was started on Adderall a few months back and since this time I have noticed two disturbing trends. The first is that she has been increasingly emotional and aggressive, particularly towards me. The second is that she doesn't seem to have many friends anymore and this is what is breaking my heart.  We have been adjusting the medication up and down and I am tempted to ask the doctor if we can try something else. The thing is, I do not know if the problem is with her medication or if this is part of her ADHD. I am so overwhelmed.  Today my 5 y.o. dd was invited to sleep over at her friend's house because her friend's big sister is having a sleepover birthday party and she wanted to have a friend of her own there. This friend's 8 y.o. sister is someone my 7 y.o. dd is always trying to be friends with (God only knows why). This child certainly likes to come over when our pool is open for the summer, but do you think she could invite dd over for her birthday (dd always invites her to hers)? So now, I am lying to dd about why her sister is spending the night at this house and why the older girl is unavailable for an overnight visit. On top of this, dd's best friend had another friend come home on the bus with her for a playdate, so she couldn't play with her. My daughter's response to this was to yell at me as if this was somehow my fault and whack me in the back with her umbrella before throwing everything down and running to our house. She has been upstairs since then and refuses to talk to me now. I wish I could put a positive twist on this and make this into a special mom/daughter night but I have to leave as soon as dh gets home to go work a 12 hr midnight shift. I am sorry to ramble on about this but I am so hurt for my dd and also hurt by her actions and I am sitting here bawling my eyes out as I type this (did I mention I think I am PMS'ing to boot). I know that I should not get so worked up. Thank you for letting me vent, I am glad that there are others who can understand where I am coming from.  |
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Post by amcfanny on May 13, 2005 18:00:06 GMT -5
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Post by Linda on May 13, 2005 18:31:37 GMT -5
Erin...I am so sorry this has happened. As a parent it is devastating when our kids hurt. There have been quite a few kids that can't tolerate Aderrall..it makes them aggressive and emotional...and there are kids that can tolerate it. Hve you asked your Doctor about this? Maybe a change of meds is in order. |
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Post by Amsmom on May 13, 2005 18:47:07 GMT -5
awww kbugsmom  i do know very well how you feel. we always do everything possible to help our kids feel happy and when something happens that we cant fix, it hurts so much. as linda said, some kids cant take adderall. my ds9 was not able to take any of the stims. they all increased his negative behaviors. i think asking your dr about a med change is a real good idea. to you. i hope that by the time you read this, you are feeling much better. |
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Post by crillmom on May 13, 2005 19:28:44 GMT -5
my son is way more sociable and happier on ritilan based meds than on adderal. in 3rd grade he took adderral and he was quiet and not his usually bubbly self, but it helped his hyperactivity and he was able to perform well in school so i didn't know it could be different. when we decided to change to ritilan i cvouldn't bhelieve the difference, he was happy, bubbly, sociable and GOOD IN SCHOOL. we had the best of both worlds, sometimes one stimulant just works better then another that just might happen in your case!!!!
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Post by kurs10b on May 13, 2005 21:29:15 GMT -5
My son was also very moody and aggressive on Adderal. He was switched to concerta and now most of those problems are gone. He had a completely different personality. Definately look into trying something else.
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Post by Kbugsmom on May 15, 2005 13:33:58 GMT -5
:)Hi, thank you all for your supportive responses. I have had a chance to calm down and get things into perspective. Dd is in better spirits as well, she got to have a friend of hers spend the night last night and they had a great time. I do think it's time to seek an alternative to the Adderall. We started out okay on the Adderall, but things have been spiraling downward in the last 1-1/2 mos. I am going to ask the ped. if we could switch to a methylphenidate medication instead. I hope that we can also see some changes for the better as many of you have. I want my bubbly, sweet daughter back.
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Post by vickilyn32 on May 16, 2005 9:23:15 GMT -5
I think changing the meds is a good idea. It really seams like kids who do well on adderall do not do so good on ritlian based meds (like my DS) and kids who do well on concerta, etc. do not do well on adderall. My DS was the oposite of your DD. Concerta made him a monster, but the adderall works wonderful. Good luck finding the right meds, sometimes it takes a few tries, so dont give up.
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Post by camismom on May 16, 2005 14:40:37 GMT -5
Hey, getting ready to leave work so I haven't read tr
hrough all the responses. I just wanted to quickly say that unless your dd was like this before I would be willing to bet that the recent emotional and aggressive outbursts are a result of the Adderall. Adderall is known to cause this in some children. My child could not tolerate it at all. It literally turned her into a different, much meaner person. So, if this behavior wasn't there before look into a med change and see what happens.
I'll try to get back with you later on more.
Good luck!
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Post by kstquilter on May 16, 2005 21:44:11 GMT -5
i would agree about checking on new meds. but we've all watched this sort of thing happen to our kids no matter which med they are on. the only possible silver lining is that since most of them miss social cues, they don't alway realize how many times they are left out as we do.
it's incredibly painful for us as well as for them. but we've all been thru it. it has gotten better as a whole as brittany has gotten older. but she still goes thru friends faster than most kids.
karen
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mothercat
Member Emeritus
With a little luck and a lot of Gods help anything is possible!
Posts: 1,468
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Post by mothercat on May 16, 2005 22:51:04 GMT -5
What makes the social thing so important ..mentally..seriously does anyone know? Have they done studies or anything on the socialization of adhd children and the pros and cons or the effects .. etc ??  |
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Post by kstquilter on May 17, 2005 9:55:11 GMT -5
i have no idea if studies have been done but it has to hurt their self esteem to constantly be left out of things and to change friends as fast as the chicago weather. they might miss some things but they don't miss them all. brittany has always known when she was left out of certain things. no kids likes to be left out. they are already different and then when they see other kids and kids they used to be friends with do fun things without them, it has to hurt.
change can be hard for our kids too so when they change friends alot, it can't be easy.
i've even tried to help brittany understand over the years, what she might be doing that makes it hard for kids to want to stay her friend. like talking too much, being loud, making all the rules, being bossy, being so attention seeking, reciting all the lines to a movie or tv show while you're trying to watch it, etc, etc! i normally tell her she just can be overwhelming at times and that it tires you out to be with her for long periods of time. i've always tried to help with lots of love and also include all her wonderful qualities. the talk changes as the situation and age changes.
i do think being on meds or getting therapy can help them understand a little better and try to make changes on their own as they get older.
in fact i just found a book on adhd for high school and college students. the first one i've seen. i bought it yesterday and hope there might be something in there that can help her.
karen
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mothercat
Member Emeritus
With a little luck and a lot of Gods help anything is possible!
Posts: 1,468
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Post by mothercat on May 17, 2005 22:24:40 GMT -5
I had to wander because the adhd children seem to get past some of the issues without being bothered so much as other children would be. I kinda wandered if their brains could be compensating in a good way where as other kids dwell and think about things longer...I dont know..just thought our kids might be luckier than the others...things dont seem to bother them as much. I have the one adhd and the other non adhd and the non adhdh is more bothered than his brother by social probs. It was just a thought. |
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Post by camismom on May 18, 2005 9:16:23 GMT -5
I had to wander because the adhd children seem to get past some of the issues without being bothered so much as other children would be. I kinda wandered if their brains could be compensating in a good way where as other kids dwell and think about things longer...I dont know..just thought our kids might be luckier than the others...things dont seem to bother them as much. I have the one adhd and the other non adhd and the non adhdh is more bothered than his brother by social probs. It was just a thought. That's just the opposite for Cami. She does worry about the social probs. She worries that boys don't like her, wonders why. She worries that she doen't have enough friends, wonders why she doesn't have more...and better. She wants to be popular and envies those that are. She wants to "fit in" and feels like she doesn't, and she wants to feel like she is good at something..like cheering, drama, guitar, etc. but she doesn't. I think this is more common in girls though. |
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Post by Linda on May 18, 2005 9:35:24 GMT -5
m/c It is the same way with Paul too....he just moves on...I think a lot of of our kids are toooo forgiving and some do not hold a grudge. |
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