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Post by djsmom on Jul 15, 2004 12:38:44 GMT -5
Hello all I am new here and have a few questions. I have an amazingly bright 5 year old little guy with adhd who cant seem to keep it under control when something doesnt go his way. We have be kicked out of several daycare centers since the time he was 3 years old and now today he bit another child. The teachers dont know what to do with him.. THis center he is at now is much more understanding than the last. But he keeps biting children and I was wondering if any one else has had a problem similar to this and if so what they did. We have a meeting with his ped next week to discuss the possibility of meds. He starts school next month and I am so scared. I was wondering if anyone else out there has had similar issues. THanks,
Jennifer
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Post by vickilyn32 on Jul 15, 2004 12:54:58 GMT -5
Hello Jennifer and welcome. I am sure lots of us have been thru something similar to what you are describing. My DS is 14, so I will have to remember back that far, but I am sure there are some parents here who have delt with that problem more recently. I think my DS started showing signs of ADHD in kindergarden. He never went to a daycare center, I was lucky to have my best friend watch him and he was wonderful for her. (I think he was a little in love with her) we had more problems with him pushing kids when he did not get his way or when they were bugging him. I will try to remember what we did and get back to you. I hope you will be happy here, I have found lots of helpful advise from these boards.
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Post by catseye on Jul 15, 2004 14:28:29 GMT -5
OH the nightmares with daycare you have brought back!
My sd was with her grandma (you know the woman who gives everything the child wants to the child! ARGH!) till she was 3... At 3 I had the bright idea that sd needed to get used to other kids before school... Within the 2 years before kindergarten, hmmmm lets see 4 daycares? possibly 5? Somewhere in there!!
I had another great idea (I was young and loaded with them! LOL), so I put sd in gymnastics, they refunded my money with a "please dont bring her back" smile before the first session was over! OH JOY!
Biting was not my sd's thing though, but hitting oh she could get into that! We never did anything really to stop it though, other than run from one daycare to another.... At the time we thought it was our poor parenting... Once sd got in school, and we went and saw her at school (at teachers suggestion), it was too obvious there was another problem...
We started medication right then, and have finally found one that is working and even helping the agression... It took awhile, so I definately suggest if you are putting your son in kindergarten soon to get on the medication trail (if that is your decision rather then alternative medications) BEFORE school... It took over a year for us to get the right dosages... Good luck and I wish I could be more help then "yeah been there done that"...
cat
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Post by HooDunnit on Jul 15, 2004 16:34:12 GMT -5
Hi djsmom and welcome to the forums. I don't know about the biting. At that age, by son would kick other boys in the testicles. He was kicked out of a Montessori school for that reason. It seemed to be part of his impulsity, plus a bit of a vengeful streak. When he got to regular school, he found that HE was the one that was beat on. Finally, I got him in a martial art (Hapkido) and he learned respect and self-control from that.
Barry
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Post by kstquilter on Jul 15, 2004 23:41:46 GMT -5
welcome jennifer,
i also had a child who bit other kids in day care. luckily she was only in actual pre-school for a year, before that she was in a busy day care that was meant for short term care while you were at the mall or movies. she loved it there. lots of different things to do.
anyway, she bit someone one day and i bit her back. i know this gets lots of negative reaction today but it worked. she never bit another child.
as far as the adhd, i think she had it the day she was born only i had no idea what it was. she's bossy, loud, constantly talking, very bright, very kind and generous of heart. she manipulates people and lies. and very lacking in social skills which makes it hard for her to keep friends.
she started taking meds in 2nd grade which made a huge difference in her. she's now 19 and won't take them anymore. things aren't great but not as bad as they'll probably get before she finds her way.
what i've tried to learn from all of this is that our kids will eventually make it to where the other kids are socially, maturity, school and job wise. but they won't take the same path the other kids take, their's will weave and wind around alot more while they stop to look at all the "oooohhhh, shiny things" as my dd says!
i wish you lots of luck and hang around here, you'll learn alot. on your worst days, you'll get lots of cyber hugs, prayers and good thoughts. and on your good days, only the people here will realize how truly wonderful the good stuff is for our kids.
karen
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Post by rosyred45 on Jul 16, 2004 7:05:17 GMT -5
Welcome Jennifer!!!!!
YUP another been there done that, thankfully a neighbor watched my son-who is now 7, and understood what he was doing.
All through pre-k we were trying to figure out what was what. Since my cousin was the teacher with 20+ years experience, she directed me to natural alternatives first to see if htat might have an impact. We looked up the Feingold plan and started there. We are a basic family anyhow, but with the elimination of all artificials and salysitates (still can't spell that word) we noticed an extreme difference in Mikey. And the rest of the family for that matter.
Anyhow, my advice is to look to the natural alternatives for questions about diet. We don't do supplements (or meds), but there is a wealth of information on that too.
The biggest thing I can stress right now is you are not alone. I have been told that over and over. I finally got to the point that I soad to myself, They are Right. We are here for you to pick our brains and ask whatever you want.
Take care
Kaiti
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Post by CalebsMom on Oct 6, 2004 17:32:19 GMT -5
WOW just wanted to say I understand the impulse so far my son hasn't been kicked out of anything *fingers crossed* but he used to hit me and ONLY me oh wait my mom too. NEVER my husband or my father. Just the "women" in our family. He's lessened this although I guess he hit my mom about a month ago for not getting a "toy" well to be honest she pretty much asked for it she's ALWAYS bought him what he wanted WHEN he wanted it.  anywho that's another story....lol We are having issues in school but nothing for kicking him out. The Principal seems to be pushing meds for my son which he's on but we are seeing the Dr friday and getting a change I hope, his teacher is at a loss of what else to try in the classroom. and i'm no help because we don't ave the same issues at home ~ some are but not all. |
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Post by catatonic on Oct 9, 2004 9:54:38 GMT -5
Like Kaiti, I favor the "fruits and nuts" point of view... My son had some aggression issues for a while. Things like hurling Matchbox cars at his brothers' heads. Knocking his baby sister down if she bugged him. Throwing or kicking things when angry. Screaming very bad words at people. Not nice. We use the Feingold program with great success, but it hadn't addressed these aggression problems. When I took corn syrup in all forms out of my son's diet, though, the tantrums and aggressive behaviors stopped as if someone had thrown a switch. Just stopped. I never see him act that way anymore. I don't mean "improvement", I mean totally and completely stopped! Don't get me wrong, he hasn't turned perfect or anything. He's still more easily frustrated than most children, and is more quarrelsome and controlling as well. But he doesn't flip out and hit and scream and throw things and bang his head against the wall. Thank God. You might want to look at simple diet changes. They can make a big difference to behavior. |
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Post by rosyred45 on Oct 16, 2004 18:12:51 GMT -5
I have to say, we went to a family picnic for my husband's work today and it was a pain, they BOTH wanted everything. BUT since I hel dMikey's hand the whole time an ddidn't give him the cotton candy and candy apple and all, it was a really great time. I must say both of the kids were really good. Jeez, what is the world coming too, my kids were really good. I think there is a thank you to all that have come to this board to give me patience  Thank you |
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Post by Seanachai on Nov 22, 2004 14:52:19 GMT -5
Oh my am I glad to see this topic here. I was hoping I was not the only one with a child who cant keep his hands feet and mouth to himself.
I get reports of his aggression from the teacher all the time. I am to the point I tell her its YOUR job to handle him at school. Crying to me to fix whats going on in your class is no good. YOU fix the issue at school I will tell you ho wwe do it at home and you can work with that or suggest an overall home/school plan of parenting.
Honestly though Max is very violent and agressive. When he was 2 1/2 he bit his sister so badly I was investigated by social services. The biting event started and was over in less then 45 seconds. The time it took to cross a room to get her. She was bitten to the point of bruising 23 times. The case unfounded.
I dont know what to do. I am very worried he will end up bigger then I am (his biological is a HUGE guy) and decide to beat on me.
Any ideas on how to curb this behaviour?
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Post by Amsmom on Nov 22, 2004 18:16:23 GMT -5
seanachai, welcome to our forums, we are so glad you are here.  we have a wonderful, supportive forum family and i hope that you will find this site helpful, informative and fun! my son is 8 and began being physically aggressive before he was 2. how old is your son? how do you feel about medication? it is never an easy decision, but one i had to decide on. my ds is on risperdal to decrease his aggression and it has been so successful. there are a few other parents here who have found it helpful. is your ds seen by a psychiatrist or neurolgist? please keep coming back, we're here for you! |
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Post by djsmom on Nov 22, 2004 20:11:59 GMT -5
Wanted to post an update. I put my son on Strattera in August and it has been almost like someone has flipped a switch. He started kindergarten and is in preschool and hasnt had one episode (knock on wood) where daycare or school has called me. In June and July I was getting daily phone calls and meeting with day care center director almost daily. I never was fond of the medication idea but in my son's world it has become night and day and he is learning to read now its so exciting. For all you moms out there thinking there is no light at the end of the tunnel for our children I give you this. Every day is one day at a time. Every day we work a little bit harder and I am a lucky one where things are getting so much better for my son.
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Post by rosyred45 on Nov 23, 2004 7:41:36 GMT -5
Djsmom, I'm so glad that you found something to work for you, as you say a switch was flipped. Congrats.
Seanachai, welcome to the forums. I look around you'll and find a wealth of information. If you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask questions.
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