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Post by aimee30 on Mar 15, 2004 21:29:43 GMT -5
My DD6 has few friends. It has been so frustrating. She is a "bully" in some ways and I think this has a lot to do with the friendships or lack there of. Today a little boy in her class called and asked to talk to her. It threw me for a loop  ! No one ever calls for her. I let her talk to him and eventually spoke with the mother. We are trying to come up with a playdate, possibly at McDonald's. I tried to explain to the mother that I would love to let them get together but it may be hard to do. She goes to her dad's house this weekend. We only have one car and my DH takes classes in the evening. Hopefully we can work something out for them. I wouldn't mind asking them over here, but we are getting ready to start on the remodeling of our kitchen. I have cabinets, flooring, wood, a sink, etc. sitting around everywhere. Just hope it doesn't turn out like her last playdate last year. We went to the little boy's house one time and they never called or invited us over again. I tried to call them several times and was given the run around. Keep your fingers crossed for us! |
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Post by Honeysmom on Mar 16, 2004 1:15:15 GMT -5
That is cool!! I really hope you can work something out.
Isn't is fun to see them have a friend?
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Post by swmom on Mar 16, 2004 4:54:26 GMT -5
aimee30 -
I can relate! It's awful when your child goes to a friend's house and they never invite him back. After awhile it seems like the world is getting together but you're child's not included. It's a lonely place to be and we've been there on many occasions.
My dd is 9 now and I'm just now starting to see some improvement in her relationships with other kids. It's taken a very long time and long discussions but it is starting to change, little by little. It seems like with each little success they get a little more confident and become better at getting along with others. Oh, what a painful journey though. I know what you're going through!! Hang in there.
Someone on another board suggested videotaping your child in a social interactions and letting them "see" how they come across. I'm planning to do that at my dd's next soccer game(on the sidelines). I think she'll be amazed at her facial expressions. She frowns at other people all the time but she has no idea she's doing it.
This will be quite an education.
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Post by rosyred45 on Mar 16, 2004 11:25:32 GMT -5
Fingers are crossed for you.
I wish you well with the play dates. Mikey hasn't been invited to one except with the kid he keeps fighting with in school. Wierd, but his mom babysat Mikey and they are only a month apart, so they are more like brothers than anything. I think that's why they keep fighting.
That and the other kids instigates. I know Mikey isn't an angel, but .....
Kaiti
Good luck again
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Post by fivegonefishing on Mar 16, 2004 16:06:10 GMT -5
My daughter is 8 and in grade three. It wasn't until this year that she had play dates that stuck. The child she is friends with is an extremly popular and compasionate child, she has a great mother-role-model. I conferred with her teacher and this childs mother and let them know what to expect and so far so good. I hope it lasts.
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Post by Dad2Brooke on Mar 16, 2004 16:39:48 GMT -5
aimee30, I truly wish your daughter every success. I hope the playdate goes great, and I think nuetral territory with you in attendence is the way to go. I think it is a fairly safe bet to say that most of the parents on this website feel the same way. A little piece of me dies everytime somebody doesn't understand my daughter, or doesn't see past the adhd. I can't easily count the number of times we haven't been asked back, or have been shunned because of Brooke's actions. But, I truly believe the worst behavior is by those parents who are so blinded by the actions, that they can arbitrarilly crush a child's spirit, and never even think twice about it. All I can say to those parents is that the world isn't always a perfect place where everything is just so. Let them spend a week with my daughter and they will see it isn't a discipline problem. Let them see how my daughter cries, because someone doesn't like her, and she doesn't know why. Let them try to comfort her then. Let them see how it feels to find out that other parents have warned newcomers about your daughter, and you aren't given a chance to rebuttal. Your daughter has already been convicted in the court of public opinion. Let's see how they handle that. Oops, sorry I will get off my  Best of luck to you and your daughter. Let us know how it goes.
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Post by 1mom on Mar 16, 2004 21:35:46 GMT -5
But, I truly believe the worst behavior is by those parents who are so blinded by the actions, that they can arbitrarilly crush a child's spirit, and never even think twice about it. All I can say to those parents is that the world isn't always a perfect place where everything is just so.amen, dad2b, amen. 
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Post by finnmom on Mar 17, 2004 15:20:02 GMT -5
Aimee  I just replyed to your earlier post of "blow out", I hope you still have this playdate coming  I´ll keep my finger´s grossed to you!! Good luck!! Marja |
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Post by aimee30 on Mar 27, 2004 21:37:49 GMT -5
Well, the playdate didn't happen. The mother told me she would call early this week, but never did. I tried to phone her several times but never got an answer. I don't know what happened. Should I try her again this week or wait and see if they call us again?
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Post by AnneM on Mar 28, 2004 7:33:46 GMT -5
Oh!! Thats disappointing Aimee  ... I would try to call again ... are you able to leave a message ? |
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Post by swmom on Mar 28, 2004 8:18:52 GMT -5
We've been there, aimee. What I've found is that if the mother is interested and more importantly, if the child is interested, they'll call. Sometimes, the mom is interested, the child is not. Sometimes the child is all for it, the mom is not. I know you must be really disappointed. You are not alone! What happens to us alot is that we invite a child over and we never get invited back. What a slap in the face. It's not much fun to be rejected all the time.
On a more positive note, keep on trying. Eventually, someone will come through and want to be friends. It takes a lot of time but it WILL happen. I'm just now starting to see some positive things happening. And my child is almost 10. We've been down a difficult road.
Hang in there. Good things will happen eventually.
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Post by finnmom on Mar 29, 2004 10:12:27 GMT -5
Aimee I´am so sorry for you! that really s¤¤k´s  You just have to keep trying! There is no other way Sometime´s I wonder...Do some parent´s think at all it may just be that she didn´t care enough to take action on this Some people are so"selffish" or uncaring of other´s feeling´s, even of their own kid´s I´d say; get over this, get some other friend to make arrangement´s and GOOD LUCK FOR THAT!!! Marja |
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Post by catseye on Mar 29, 2004 11:31:57 GMT -5
Im sorry the playdate didnt happen for you daughter! My sd is also the "bully" in most ways, or was last year... This year she finally has a friend who has asperbergers... So far sd has went over there once and the girl came over to our house for sd's bday party... It went well, I am glad to report...
Side note here, the friend is absolutely BRILLIANT!! At almost 7 years old, she speaks spanish, and is reading judy bloom chapter books!! I was/am quite baffled why she has taken such an interest in my sd! LOL The girl just amazed me...
I wonder if maybe an outside playdate at your place would work? I know with the remodeling inside date would be difficult, maybe wait for some nice weather? just a thought!! Good luck
cat
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