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Post by StrugglingAgain on Mar 12, 2004 21:04:09 GMT -5
I'm sick to death of putting up with the children in the neighborhood. My son is eight and we just moved to this state a few months ago. There are children in this neighborhood who are soooo rude and disrespectful it's unbelievable. Three days in a row, I've had to go outside and rescue my son from six of them ganging up on him. One time they were chasing him with sticks!! Today, they were all standing at the end of my drive and my son was up in the yard. Naturally, I don't know what started any of it and perhaps my son did. BUT let's face it, he didn't start it with SIX of them. I went out to stop it and they talked to me terribly. I just plain do NOT know how to handle it. Each time I've made my son come into the house and not go out for the rest of the day, but that seems unfair to him. He's not able to tell me exactly what's going on..he gets confused. These children are all older than he is, except one. Does anyone have any suggestions?  |
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Post by rosyred45 on Mar 12, 2004 22:34:45 GMT -5
I'm not sure exactly what neighborhood you might be talking about, BUT Here's the pointy hat and broom for the kids......  Take a stand. Let them KNOW that you'll not tolorate any BS from them. PERIOD. I don't care what they think that they are. BULL SH** They do not talk to an adult that way and if they continue to, they 'll be facing trouble. (and I hate to say it, but you'll have to find out what the trouble is yourself, sorry) But if they think that they can do that to you and your kids, what's next? Go ahead, do something to the yard, car, whatever, whopee, you ain't getting away with it. I'm sorry, malicious mood tonight, but don't take the crap from them or they win, just like education. Kaiti |
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Post by finnmom on Mar 13, 2004 3:00:41 GMT -5
Yes, I agree with Rosyred  Face them, make it very clear to them that you´re not tolerating that! Theach your son some kind of an emergency-rule how to act when he feel´s afraid/confronted of them, like coming to one exact place of the yard where you can see him and go stop it right away! This is hard, I´am so sorry for your son, but the raw throuth is that if you let them do this to your son and you, they´ll do this and mayby go even further, as said before! I´am the evil mother of the neigbourhood, who doesnt give up for whinign , who thing´s that all kid´s have to follow the same rule´s when at my house/yard.... Still, they want to come back to play!! Marja |
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Post by 1mom on Mar 13, 2004 7:18:11 GMT -5
excellent idea on having an emergency spot, marja. i wish i'd have thought of that when ds was younger.
i also encourage you to monitor, monitor, monitor when the kids are anywhere near. that way you'll get a pretty good idea of who's causing the trouble (the ring leader). then focus on him---letting him know the rules and that he's being watched. usually if you can get the ringleader to stop, the rest of the kids (who are following his lead) will stop.
another thing that works well for us is to have a lot of individual time with each kid. let your son invite ONE Of them over to spend time at your house. set up a nice play date, snacks, etc. and then after awhile, invite another one individually. if those 2 worked out, then try having both over together. the advantage to that is that the kids will get to have fun, want to return and not have the influence of the main bully there to sway him from behaving/becoming a friend.
good luck!
prayers,
1mom
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Post by lauries on Mar 13, 2004 8:41:40 GMT -5
Wow, what great ideas. I wish you were here to tell me these about 15 years ago with my older children. But it will definitely help me with my 11yo.
Good question because we have all been there & it is not fair to keep your own child inside because of these little creeps.
Always good stuff on this forum, thanks
laurie
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Eye
Member
Posts: 42
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Post by Eye on Mar 13, 2004 10:19:01 GMT -5
Wow! Not cool! I had a situation like that with my son in 1st grade, but it was during recess at school, when I confronted the school, they refused to take action against the "bullies", so I transferred my son...
My suggestion, get the kids parents involved!! It's possible that if they are acting that way toward adults, their parents don't give a rats ass anyway, but it's worth a shot! Kids can be cruel, my son included...
Take a stand. Let those kids know who's in charge. Also, if it gets really bad, get the police involved. Seriously!!! If the police scare them enough, they may quit.
Finally, let your son invite kids that he goes to school with over.. Let him know that there are kids out there that don't act that way, and WANT to play with him!!!!
Hope that helps!! Good luck!
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Post by aimee30 on Mar 13, 2004 11:19:45 GMT -5
I think I would start off working with the other children. Do as 1mom said and invite one over. See how it goes. If things don't go well, then I would confront the other mothers. They may not know that their child or children are behaving that way. It may become an eye opening experience for the parents. Then again it could be that they don't care. Good luck!
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Post by AnneM on Mar 13, 2004 12:43:01 GMT -5
Grrrr... !! This makes me sooo mad .... it also brings back memories of when my son was about the same age as yours and we had some neighbourhood bullies ... all of whom were also older than him ... and I remember one day I spotted one of them riding my son's bike (which he had basically 'taken' from my son) and then I saw this kid get off the bike and jump on it and kick it .... Well I was out there sooooo quickly and I was sooooooo mad .... Fortunately however the older kid concerned was genuinely shocked by my catching him "in the act" and by my very upset response (!) ... but things DID even out after that ... Based on this I would definitely say CONFRONT the bullies yourself .... but then again if they simply answer back and don't seem to care then it can make things much more difficult! I also like the idea of the "emergency spot"! ... I also wish I had thought about this one many years back! |
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Post by mom2tj on Mar 13, 2004 21:23:45 GMT -5
sorry I have no advice to give you the only thing I'll say is MY ds often is the one to start by saying thing that might upset the older ones I am gratfull that so far it hasnt been to much on a issue we have mostly younger kids on your street but he seems to get under the skin of the older ones very quikly... he is not allowed to play with them so far I've been able to keep him away but I fear for the summer comming up  |
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Post by Amsmom on Mar 13, 2004 21:39:11 GMT -5
I hate this!!!! Some say to let the kids work it out themselves and sometimes I do, but not when they are bullies. Today my ds8 was playing with some new kids in my mom's neighborhood and he came back upset, with his shirt full of sticks and leaves. Apparently a kid had pushed him down hard when my son told them where another kid was hiding. I was soooo mad. I went down with my son and confronted the other kid telling him pushing was NOT acceptable and made him apologize. The kid did apologize, but a bigger kid who was with him kept mouthing off to me. I said to the big kid, "I'm not talking to you!!!" and amazingly he shut his mouth. I worry about kids calling my son a tattle-tale, but I won't let them bully him. When they are already friends and just having a quarrel, I just let them work it out themselves, unless it is physical.
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Post by camismom on Mar 16, 2004 9:16:23 GMT -5
My suggestion, get the kids parents involved!! It's possible that if they are acting that way toward adults, their parents don't give a rats ass anyway, but it's worth a shot! Kids can be cruel, my son included... Take a stand. Let those kids know who's in charge. Also, if it gets really bad, get the police involved. Seriously!!! If the police scare them enough, they may quit. That is exactly what I was going to say! |
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