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Post by Honeysmom on Mar 9, 2004 17:34:21 GMT -5
I am just curious if anyone else has this problem. Honey wants everyone to respect his personal space, but he never returns the same favor. I don't think he even realizes it. Social cues sometimes really escape him.
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Post by rosyred45 on Mar 9, 2004 17:49:47 GMT -5
I have to say sometimes depending on the situation. He is a very clingy kid, but that's how we are as a family. We all sit together on the couch and stuff like that. He's not too bad when it comes to giving people space, like at school. But most of the time the kids tell each other they are too close or whatever anyway, so they have pretty much grown accustomed to who ever is a very "close" person.
Don't know if that's right, but it's us
Kaiti
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Post by LitlBaa on Mar 10, 2004 21:13:16 GMT -5
This is an ongoing problem at my house! I can't stand for Katie (or anyone else, really) to be up in my face or Velcroed to my butt...and she just keeps on and keeps on...and tries to give us a hug and about knocks us down because she's strong as an ox and doesn't realize it.
Of course, she gets offended when we invade her space. But you all know there are two sets of rules...one for parents and one for kids!
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Post by camismom on Mar 11, 2004 8:51:52 GMT -5
Are you kidding? I can't take a shower, or even use the bathroom without her walking in! Yet, she closes her door when noone else is home but me to get dressed, bathe, whatever, because she "needs her privacy".  If I'm sitting on the couch at night to watch t.v., she lays on top of me, or beside me to the point of making me uncomfortable. Oh well, I guess I should be happy she wants to be close to me.  |
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Post by Dad2Brooke on Mar 11, 2004 12:08:52 GMT -5
Definately two sets of rules. When she wants to be alone, she gets all upset if we infringe on her space. But not the same for us. She can interrupt, hug, kiss, bounce, pull, talk, tap, click or anything thing else with impunity (she thinks). Yesterday morning, I was taking a shower. (We have a dark shower curtain) We have three bathrooms. Guess which one she had to brush her teeth in. (She has toothbrushes and toothpaste in all of them.) I suppose I should be glad that she wanted to brush her teeth. |
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Post by Honeysmom on Mar 11, 2004 16:00:07 GMT -5
Well at least then I know it is not just us!! We definately have 2 sets of rules. And as far as getting some privacy I have found the best way for me to do that is to stay up later than them, which is not easy, but it is worth it. Last week I got a brochure from school telling me about the opportunity to live in the dorms. Here it is required your first and second year unless you live with your parents or are married. I am very tempted to take them up it! Oh well, I'd probably miss them if I did... |
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Post by jdmom on Mar 12, 2004 11:39:15 GMT -5
What is personal space?
Not only am I not allowed any, he doesn't want any either! He thinks his room is just where he keeps his toys until he wants to play with them and drag them into whatever room I am in at the time. If I actually manage to kick him out of the bathroom, when I open the door to go out, I trip over him. Oh well, at least I always know what he is up to. If he is actually in a room by himself for longer than 10 minutes (unless he's playing Nintendo) I know I had better go check on him before he floods the house or blows something up!
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SKay
Member Emeritus
Posts: 1,126
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Post by SKay on Mar 12, 2004 15:27:12 GMT -5
personal is not in his vocabulary. I think I've posted this before, but twice within a week's time men at church came to us laughing, saying that DS6 was in the restroom at the same time as they were and was saying things like "Who's that under there?" "Are you going peepee?"
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Post by finnmom on Mar 12, 2004 16:54:04 GMT -5
I vote someday, depend´s..... If it´s his personal space ;D then YES, it should be respected, but if it´s his sister´s; then the answer is NO ;D He is very strick on his own space, want´s to kiss and hug when it fit´s him best, not any other time  As my own personal space, have someone seen it lately, if so, could you pleace send it back to me I have this same problem with bathroom door´s, they dont seem to stay closed ;D Honeysmom:could you reserve me a bed in your dorm too ;D Marja |
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lisle
Full Member
Posts: 142
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Post by lisle on Apr 2, 2004 9:44:43 GMT -5
We have this problem, but it is decreasing as he is starting puberty. He wants privacy and even shuts the bathroom door. Amazing. Of course, he doesn't flush.
He's done.
I told him a long time ago to use arm's length to judge talking distance. I know this is a generalization, but I think it helps some. His arm isn't that long. I think most of this is spatial lack of neurological development combined with impulsivity and self-centeredness. So any of that we can work on will help. But it will take time.
Ever notice how close boys get to each other with the Game Boy or the Computer? I think this is an influence too. Culture is changing because they couldn't see otherwise. My son and his friend will even share a chair in front of the computer. Grabbing the mouse is a related problem in my family. My son doesn't wait and just does what he wants, even if my hand is headed for the mouse and I am in front of the computer. These nonverbal cues are hard for our kids. But they will be judged negatively if they don't learn them. I like the book for teens called Life Skills by Lingui Systems.
It's very practical and is a workbook.
Hope this helps someone. We have struggled with this since first grade.
Lisle
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Post by CalebsMom on Oct 6, 2004 17:35:54 GMT -5
We have this trouble at school with Caleb. Actually at home too we just deal with it  Caleb I guess is hanging around the "right kids" whatever that means for 1st graders.....lol. I guess ones that make right choices. BUT he "hangs" on them he does this to us as well. I've never thought about "how to talk to him about it" though as I didn't realize he did it at school until the meeting we had last week. |
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Post by vickilyn32 on Oct 6, 2004 20:37:18 GMT -5
Dan was never the kind of kid to get up close to anyone except family. He still is not. He has been to several school dances, and the parents tell me he is the one boy they have never had to reprimand for dancing too close or sitting to close to the girls. He does have girlfriends, but is happy to let them have their space and he has his. He finally stopped sleeping in my room about a year ago,(the kids would take turns when DH was on the road) unless he is sick. If he is, he will still come into my room and ask to sleep in there. DD still sleeps in my room all the time when DH is working. She is still mommys girl, but I think she is starting to outgrow this as well. She is the hugg everyone, touchy, cling on type. (non adhd)
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Post by catatonic on Oct 10, 2004 7:41:05 GMT -5
My Challenge Boy doesn't respect personal space, but in a different way. Whenever I clean the out-of-sight parts of his room (like under the bed) or organize his storage box (for his special stuff), I find things like my watch that disappeared off the bathroom counter, his brother's 16-color pen, his dad's miniature flashlight, my calculator...anything that belongs to someone else that has caught his eye. He's like a magpie. If he thinks it's cool, he'll take it, look at it for a while, then stash it in his room where no one can find it. When a fuzzy sweatshirt came with my husband's Sports Illustrated subscription, Challenge Boy took it and hid it in his closet. If I buy 12 spiral notebooks for the boys' school needs, he'll take 10 of them and stash them in his backpack. Or if it's a box of 24 pencils, he'll put 22 of them in his pencil holder. He's constantly got my car keys in his pocket and my cell phone around his neck.
Why the heck does he do this? I don't think he's trying to steal. Is it just he's so impulsive he can't resist his curiosity about things he shouldn't touch and then doesn't know how to put them back without getting caught? I'm baffled how to get him to stop this. I don't know if it's really invading personal space, but that's what it feels like. We all tell him to stay out of our stuff, but he won't. I bought each of the older boys a locking tool box so they can keep a few things safe from him, but I wish he would just QUIT IT!
Oh yeah, how could I forget...is it okay for other people to touch his stuff? Hahahahahaha. We finally took his doorknob off because he'd lock the door from the inside and shut it before going to school and would take the key with him. (This was after he switched knobs with the garage door so he'd have one that was key operated!!) The kid is 10 years old, do you really think he needs to lock his door before going to school?
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Post by rosyred45 on Oct 13, 2004 12:26:26 GMT -5
Come on Mom, gotta secure the stolen opps I mean borrowed goods somehow so he can keep them.  |
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