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Post by mom2ry on Feb 12, 2004 15:20:55 GMT -5
Hi Everybody,
My ds age 5 is on a tee-ball team. Obviousely he has problems focusing sometimes when he isn't getting the ball, sometimes he gets mad if another person gets the ball first. My question is should I tell the coach that he has ADHD? He is on medication but sometimes it doesn't help while playing. At the end of last season (not a good season!) I didn't think he would want to play again, but he does. What do you guys think?
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Post by jdmom on Feb 12, 2004 15:40:52 GMT -5
I told my son's coach last year. I think it just helped him from getting frustrated with Jarrett's lack of attention. Once I told him he told me that he sort of suspected it anyway. He was a Boy's Club volunteer, so I guess he's probably seen enough to recognize the signs.
If you told the coach maybe he would be more willing to help and guide your son and not just write him off as a child who is not interested.
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Post by Dad2Brooke on Feb 13, 2004 12:35:46 GMT -5
mom2ry Welcome aboard! I'm glad that you found us.
As to whether to tell the coach or not. I would. I believe that by letting him know and expalining ADHD if necessary, you may head off some misunderstanding later on.
And as jdmom pointed out, if the coach knows he may be willing to go the extra mile for you son.
Let us know how it turns out.
And again, welcome aboard!
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Post by Linda on Feb 13, 2004 13:24:52 GMT -5
Good advice...I would also tell the coach...I think any good coach would go the extra mile.
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Post by 1mom on Feb 14, 2004 20:18:30 GMT -5
welcome!
i understand your concerns. when "turbo" was the same age, i didn't tell the coach. i guess i didn't want the coach thinking something was "wrong" or that he needed to be treated differently than the other boys. not telling him about the adhd was a bad mistake. i believe the coach thought he was a spoiled brat with temper problems.
because i try to walk the line between not wanting my son treated differently (i want him to feel like he is just like other boys his age) and allowing the wrong impression to color the coach's opinion, i changed my policy. i talk to the coach/teacher privately, let them know that he has adhd, play up his positive qualities (energetic, helpful, etc) and then ask the adult to keep the information confidential. once i was asked why it should be confidential and i explained that i did not think the information would help my son in any way. we want him to succeed on his own merit and without using the adhd as an excuse/crutch. also, there is still are still alot of narrow-minded people who do not believe in the validity of adhd.
all that to say that i wish i'd have told the first coach. it would have saved much heartache for all parties. also it would have helped my son learn some valuable team skills had he finished the season, which would have happened had the coach been aware and able to do more in certain situations. i think i did the whole team and my son an injustice and i regret it to this day. on the bright side, we've come a long way from that place today!
please let us know how things turn out.
prayers and best wishes,
1mom
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Post by finnmom on Feb 15, 2004 4:46:08 GMT -5
Hi  I´am seconding everyone else in here, but I would tell him privatly. it´s not for everyone to know but for him to see thing´s as they really are. I would also point out that I dont want any special treatment for my child, only that he know´s. It´s easier to him also, to have somekind of an explanation for certain behaviour. you could also tell him wich way´s your on act´s while a meltdown, and how to manage with those moment´s, the way´s you manage those. The reason why he should know; otherwise it may easily end up in the way where youe son is the impossible troublemaker who is not welcome anymore  Marja |
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Post by mom2ry on Feb 19, 2004 11:21:10 GMT -5
Thank you everybody for your advice We had to take him off the team. Not because of him but because of our schedules totally conflicted with my school and my husbands job. They were having his games mostly on weekday afternoons and we would not be able to see him play most of the time. We asked him if he wanted to play even though we couldn't be there most of the time and he decided not to play this season. He is only 5 so there are many years of sports to come. But he is really interested in karate and there is a studio that has 3:1 classes by our house and it fits into our schedule. So that's what he is going to try right now instead. Thanks again for your advice!! |
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Post by finnmom on Feb 19, 2004 14:00:40 GMT -5
Mom2Ry I´am sorry about the timing problem´s. i hope your son like´s karate, I´ve read so many good experiense´s about marshall art´s with adhd-kid´s. It supposed to be good hobby for kid´s like our´s! Good luck for you! Marja |
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Post by aimee30 on Feb 19, 2004 21:35:09 GMT -5
I've heard lots of good things about martial arts and ADHD kids too. I wish I could get my DD interested in something like that. I know it would do wonders for her self esteem.
Good luck to him!
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