Post by milesofsmiles on Nov 26, 2003 17:11:50 GMT -5
Life, as you would say, was going pretty good. My wife just arrived home from the war after being gone for 9 months, our 6 y/o ADHD/ODD son is responding well to medications and behavior modifications, he is becoming more independent, and is shining with confidence and he is doing great in school.
Suddenly the phone rings on Saturday afternoon. It is the police asking for us and our son to come down to the station to question him about an incident on the play ground a couple of days ago during Kindergarten recess. So we pile into the car and head on down there. We sat down and the officer asks my son if he ever tried to kiss any girls on the playground, then asks if he has ever touched any girls, poked them, where he was playing at recess and a few other questions. My heart sank, I asked how the officer thought he was involved. He said that the girl identified him out of the yearbook as someone she though it might be. The girl, as he described her, had pig tails. (Great description)Our son said he did not know who he was talking about. The officer said he would put my son's name in the report and send it to social services. He ended up interviewing one other child, and one playground teacher before turning over the report. My son was accused of kissing and inappropriately touching the girl. Pretty serious.
We went home and questioned him for hours putting every spin on it that we could. He always came up with the same answer. I knew in my heart that he was not capable of this accusation. That night he prayed for the girl that was hurt, and hoped that the bad people not telling the truth people that did that would be put in jail.
I just felt weird about the whole thing. Why wasn't the school involved? Why weren't more witnesses involved? She picked our son out of last years yearbook, he is repeating Kindergarten so of course there are only going to be a few kids she is going to recognize that are repeating Kindergarten and would be seen on the playground. I did not want his name to be on any report where he was a suspect of anything when a proper investigation was not conducted.
The officer was off on Sunday, so I did not call, I just assumed after we left that the principal was called and the investigation continued.
Monday morning I went to school and tracked down the principal. He listened to the message that was left on the answering machine from the parents Friday night saying that this incidedent occured. He was flying down the hall when I stopped him and told him that the police had contaced us regarding the chocking/kissing incident and our son was named. The police did not even try to contact the school. Boy did my stomach sink then. Now my son might be accused because his shyness and lack of answers might be considered a coverup for what happened. I knew that it did not do it and our continuous roleplaying and senerio playing over the weekend convinced me of his innocense.
I put a call into the officer again and asked to be called. The police did not even call back to me that day. I called the school and the principal informed me that the girl identified 3 other kids that might have done this, there were 2 other teachers on the playground that could place our son on the opposite side of the playground during the time, the teachers in the classrooms did not hear of anything. One classroom did though, but it was not my sons. The principal was convinced that our son may have been passing by but was no way involved. He informed the pd of this, but still had not heard from the investigating officer.
It was a relief to hear that , but now social services has a report with my sons name on it and who knows if they are following other leads. I finally got ahold of the officer late on Tuesday. I asked if he had followed up with the principal of the school. He said no. I informed him of all of the information the principal had and that I was "angry" that all of the leads had not been exhaused before any reports were filed. He said that he followed all of the leads he had at the time (3 kindergarteners, and one teacher), except for the one I suggested (principal). UGGGG, I though the most obvious one!!!! I wanted a copy of the report, but it would not be signed for release to me until today (WED).
So today I called the police chief to find out if this is typical of their invesitgations. He said that by statute he had to file a report within 24 hours of the complaint. Ok, I can see that, but to give a half a$#ed report/effort is not excusable in my book. The chief told me that he had talked to the principal today (6 days after the incident), and recommended that our son not be considered further as a suspect and that his name be cleared from the report. Social services called later to confirm that our son was not a "mal-treater" whatever that is.
I really felt through this whole ordeal that if I had not been making the calls riding up the chain that we would have sat back and been bulldozed. This was something that was constantly eating at me and consumed most of my waking moments. It is over for now. But now there is a little piece of paper on it with my son's name on it. I pray that it doesn't come back to haunt us later in life.
I pray that all of you do not take the systems in place for granted. Provide lots of followup, correspondence, and involvement. Shout from the highest moutain, "this is my child, whom I will protect to my death."
Thank all of you who I contacted individually while I was going though this, your prayers and support are very much appreciated.
Miles
Suddenly the phone rings on Saturday afternoon. It is the police asking for us and our son to come down to the station to question him about an incident on the play ground a couple of days ago during Kindergarten recess. So we pile into the car and head on down there. We sat down and the officer asks my son if he ever tried to kiss any girls on the playground, then asks if he has ever touched any girls, poked them, where he was playing at recess and a few other questions. My heart sank, I asked how the officer thought he was involved. He said that the girl identified him out of the yearbook as someone she though it might be. The girl, as he described her, had pig tails. (Great description)Our son said he did not know who he was talking about. The officer said he would put my son's name in the report and send it to social services. He ended up interviewing one other child, and one playground teacher before turning over the report. My son was accused of kissing and inappropriately touching the girl. Pretty serious.
We went home and questioned him for hours putting every spin on it that we could. He always came up with the same answer. I knew in my heart that he was not capable of this accusation. That night he prayed for the girl that was hurt, and hoped that the bad people not telling the truth people that did that would be put in jail.
I just felt weird about the whole thing. Why wasn't the school involved? Why weren't more witnesses involved? She picked our son out of last years yearbook, he is repeating Kindergarten so of course there are only going to be a few kids she is going to recognize that are repeating Kindergarten and would be seen on the playground. I did not want his name to be on any report where he was a suspect of anything when a proper investigation was not conducted.
The officer was off on Sunday, so I did not call, I just assumed after we left that the principal was called and the investigation continued.
Monday morning I went to school and tracked down the principal. He listened to the message that was left on the answering machine from the parents Friday night saying that this incidedent occured. He was flying down the hall when I stopped him and told him that the police had contaced us regarding the chocking/kissing incident and our son was named. The police did not even try to contact the school. Boy did my stomach sink then. Now my son might be accused because his shyness and lack of answers might be considered a coverup for what happened. I knew that it did not do it and our continuous roleplaying and senerio playing over the weekend convinced me of his innocense.
I put a call into the officer again and asked to be called. The police did not even call back to me that day. I called the school and the principal informed me that the girl identified 3 other kids that might have done this, there were 2 other teachers on the playground that could place our son on the opposite side of the playground during the time, the teachers in the classrooms did not hear of anything. One classroom did though, but it was not my sons. The principal was convinced that our son may have been passing by but was no way involved. He informed the pd of this, but still had not heard from the investigating officer.
It was a relief to hear that , but now social services has a report with my sons name on it and who knows if they are following other leads. I finally got ahold of the officer late on Tuesday. I asked if he had followed up with the principal of the school. He said no. I informed him of all of the information the principal had and that I was "angry" that all of the leads had not been exhaused before any reports were filed. He said that he followed all of the leads he had at the time (3 kindergarteners, and one teacher), except for the one I suggested (principal). UGGGG, I though the most obvious one!!!! I wanted a copy of the report, but it would not be signed for release to me until today (WED).
So today I called the police chief to find out if this is typical of their invesitgations. He said that by statute he had to file a report within 24 hours of the complaint. Ok, I can see that, but to give a half a$#ed report/effort is not excusable in my book. The chief told me that he had talked to the principal today (6 days after the incident), and recommended that our son not be considered further as a suspect and that his name be cleared from the report. Social services called later to confirm that our son was not a "mal-treater" whatever that is.
I really felt through this whole ordeal that if I had not been making the calls riding up the chain that we would have sat back and been bulldozed. This was something that was constantly eating at me and consumed most of my waking moments. It is over for now. But now there is a little piece of paper on it with my son's name on it. I pray that it doesn't come back to haunt us later in life.
I pray that all of you do not take the systems in place for granted. Provide lots of followup, correspondence, and involvement. Shout from the highest moutain, "this is my child, whom I will protect to my death."
Thank all of you who I contacted individually while I was going though this, your prayers and support are very much appreciated.
Miles
It should have never gone that far. 
