|
|
Post by crillmom on Jan 8, 2004 11:32:15 GMT -5
how does everyone know how their children are doing in school? Do you get daily reports, weekly or just regular conferences? I know my son is doing well academically because I see the papers that come home. BUt socially and behaviorally I really have no idea. He tells me Mom, I didn't call out today or mom Josh and I were talking today during Math. But all this is from a 9 year olds perspective. What I am really saying is I would like more feedback. In years past he had a behavior mod in effect and everyday I would have an idea of what was going on and the behavior mod really worked for him.. I don't know if it is because he is in fourth grade now or because the teacher doesn't believe in constant communication but I truly would like to know more. I recently lowered his meds and I want to see if it is making a difference either good or bad. Should I ask to observe or is that too much or should I just ask how he is doing. My husband believes no news is good news, but I don't necessarily believe that is the case here. I make medication decisions based on school so I feel I need to know everything. Anyway sorry to vent but I was just wondering how everyone else handles this stuff.
|
|
|
|
Post by finnmom on Jan 8, 2004 11:38:15 GMT -5
Hi Crillmom! We have a little book that travel´s in ds8´s backbag, whenever there is something eather I or theacher want to tell to each other, we just write it down. It´s a great way to share information, although it freak´s me out sometime´s when I just take a look at the book and notice there is something written, usually nothing good  I´ll have goosebump´s of that feeling "Did something happend on school today  " No new´s is deffenately good new´s!!! Marja |
|
|
|
Post by mom2tj on Jan 8, 2004 11:49:43 GMT -5
we have an agenda that all kids have (we had to pay for it part of the school suplies) they wright there homework in it and both parents and teacher has to sign every day I realy like the idea it is well worth the money....... I dont get a daily report only when something special has happend .... If I have questions then I just wright in it and they are always very nice about it and always answer beleive me I ask alot of questions  and I have to add that they are very nice about writting the good things he does he came home yesterday with a special note it make him so proud. |
|
|
|
Post by catseye on Jan 8, 2004 11:50:43 GMT -5
If you recently lowered the meds, maybe it would be a good idea for his teacher to fill out a conners test or something equivelant...
As for teachers communication I have been fortunate, that I get a small summary on every friday... Unless it is something of urgency then it comes the day of the incident or whatever happened... Since my sd8 had such a horrible year last year with reports ALOT, this year has been comparitably AWESOME thus far!!(sd has same teacher as last year)... They have a better look into my sd now, then last year...
We also like finnmom have a little folder that goes back and forth for any pertanent information either the teacher or I may need...
|
|
|
|
Post by AnneM on Jan 8, 2004 13:31:30 GMT -5
I found the step from primary (elementary) school into high school a BIG one when it came to parental/teacher feedback ... In primary (elementary) I found the feedback pretty good comparatively... in high school there is virtually NONE unless of course they want to point out some bad behaviour!! ... The reason I believe is that in High School they suddenly have heaps of different teachers .... Each teacher only seeing your child for one period per day ... so it is impossible to expect very regular feedback from all of them ... or even ANY of them as each teacher themselves SO MANY kids to deal with .... hence the feedback that DOES come is generally when there is something negative to say!!  I found this transition into High School quite hard after having ONE teacher I could speak to when necessary and suddenly having nobody except for a "head of year" who most days doesn't even SEE my son!! I guess I should be used to it by now and after 5 years of High School!! ... (NB I am in the UK so am not sure if its different elsewhere!) My son DOES have a "planner" - which is a book which theoretically (apart from recording homework etc) also is meant to be a communication system between parent and teacher ... but the reality is that it is seldom seen ... and on the occasions I have written something in it I often don't hear back for 2-3 weeks!! ... Sorry!! This sounds soooo negative ... and I don't mean it to ... (Its honestly not all bad!!) ... ...Guess I am just reminiscing about those years in Primary (elementary) when he had ONE main teacher and THAT was the person you spoke to!! |
|
|
|
Post by rosyred45 on Jan 8, 2004 18:31:06 GMT -5
For Mikey, last year in Kindergarten, we had a book that went back and forth as a part of his behavior mod. If he had good am's and good pm's he would get a sticker.
I realize that your son is older, so here this is from what I have gathered from working in a school. I do monitor Mikey frequently, like looking in to see if he's ok or not. the teacher will just nod to let me know that he's ok. She'll shake her head in a wish washy sort of way if he's off.
I am being totally unbiased in what I am about to type. This is my professional observances from directing the after school program here:
-The teachers expect the srudents to do their work, know how to act/behave/etc...
-If the parent has a concern, the teacher does not read minds...also, if the teacher has a concern, the parent cannot read minds.
-I have seen kids falling between the cracks and played middle man for the sake of the kids.
-I've questioned teachers as to work assignments.
-I've questioned the parents as to the understanding of the material given, by the child.
Today, I heard a couple of teachers talking about a boy. I had him last year in the program, so I know what he's about. Well, no one has said a word to the parents. I'm sorry, but with the difficulty that the child faces and his distractability, that should be one of the first phone calls to make.
Please take the incitive when it comes to your child. I thought I was being a bug to my son's teacher, but she said she would rather tell me every day that he was fine and not to worry, then to have to tell me once a week everything that he'd not gotten done.
Hope it helps
Kaiti
|
|
|
|
Post by catseye on Jan 8, 2004 19:45:12 GMT -5
You mean we (with elementary kids) are in the GOOD OLD DAYS?? LOL Now that is a scary thought!! LOL
cat
|
|
|
|
Post by swmom on Jan 8, 2004 20:25:26 GMT -5
I think the tendency is to think that no news is good news. I used to think that.
In 2nd grade, I asked my daughter's teacher how she was doing socially. She said, "Oh, she has lots of friends, not to worry." Nothing could have been further from the truth. She was miserable socially. I think the teachers have so much pressure on them to focus on academics, leave no child behind, etc. Unless the child is punching all the other kids, or screaming at them,
the teachers think they're doing OK. They're not
necessarily doing ok.
|
|
|
|
Post by crillmom on Jan 8, 2004 21:29:07 GMT -5
thanks everyone for all your great replies. I don't know why I am being such a wimp with this teacher in the past with other teachers I would call write notes, etc. I was very forceful. I was a first grade teacher before I had children so I always was very knowledgable when speaking with them. I guess I was glad all his work was getting done this year and he was doing really well academically it felt good to not be the parent with so many concerns. well I did speak with the teacher today and he is not doing as great as I thought. Again academics are no problem which of course I am thankful, but he is calling out and arguing with the other children. I asked her how long this has been going on and she said she wasn't sure but this week has been tough, well sure it has I lowered his concerta from 36 to 27. I did this because at home over break this was all he needed. It seems his issues really come into play at school. I am very fortunate that we do not have too many issues at home.It seems that the school setting with his peers really makes him anxious. Anyway long story short I am going to try just giving him straight ritilan twice a day. It seems to work best for him.
|
|
|
|
Post by catseye on Jan 8, 2004 22:39:56 GMT -5
crillmom Dont be so hard on yourself!! It is ALOT of work nagging the teachers, and keeping up on it all... I think you were just enjoying a reprieve hopeing no news was good news... School is basically the only reason we DO medicate in my sd's situation... I mean if she cant focus she certainly cant learn... Good luck to both of you the rest of the year!! cat |
|
|
|
Post by AnneM on Jan 9, 2004 14:18:10 GMT -5
You mean we (with elementary kids) are in the GOOD OLD DAYS?? LOL Now that is a scary thought!! LOL cat In my experience YES Cats!! ... BUT the transition is gradual ... and honestly not too painful!! ... As they get older the feedback is LESS ... but you kind of learn to "expect" it to be 'less' if you know what I mean?! Incidentally I work at a college which takes on 16 + year olds - and where my son intends to go later this year. These "kids" at that age are given an option whether they sign for their parents to be given feedback or not!!! ... I SURE hope my son signs that feedback may be given!! ... |
|
|
|
Post by geewiznit on Jan 10, 2004 1:18:46 GMT -5
I know this is not an option with most people, but the problem you describe is the reason we put our daughter K in private school for middle school. From our older son's experience in the public middle school (he's does not have ADHD), we knew that the teachers rarely returned a phone call and only contacted us if something was totally haywire. Our middle school was also just plain lousy, with all the burned out teachers and a terrible principal. Our son totally fell through the cracks there, and we had no idea it was happening. It took him until his junior year in high school to get back on his feet, and his GPA was hard hit, ultimately affecting his college choice. We knew the school would be a particular disaster for our ADHD child.
At the private school, the classes are very small, so the teachers have the ability to observe each child closely. One of K's teachers is designated as her "advisor" (she got to choose which one she wanted), and it is her job to act as liaison between the teachers and us. (This applies to all the kids, not just K.) We get phone calls or emails from her frequently to report on both the bad and the good. I am free to call or email her whenever I have a question or concern and she responds immediately. Each trimester we get a a letter grade for each subject plus a full page written report from each teacher describing in detail both academic and behavioral status. We are required to attend a joint meeting with the advisor and our daughter each trimester to discuss all issues, and at the last one the guidance counselor also attended (at the advisor's instigation) to facilitate the discussion of K's ADHD. The school focuses heavily on study skills, research techniques and writing. The homework load is often too heavy, and there are a lot of spoiled brats and snobs at the school, plus K justs detests the mandatory sports program, but the good far outweighs the bad. Because this is such a financial burden, we plan to transition K to public school for high school, hoping that the close attention and good academic grounding she got in middle school will carry her through. We are truly blessed that we can afford this option.
|
|
|
|
Post by Brenda on Jan 21, 2004 23:21:08 GMT -5
Sometimes the teachers don't let you know when something is wrong.My sister in law works at Stephanie's school and went in her class today.She said that she has never seen Stephanie talk so much.So I emailed her teacher today to see how she has been doing for 3 weeks on the lower dose of Concerta.I told her that I assumed that she was doing ok because I haven't gotten any notes.Well this is what she said "Stephanie was very talkative today. She had to sit by herself at lunch due to her excessive talking. I also had to move her during reading time because she wouldn't leave the other children alone. She kept taking there books to look at. As for her work she is trying to sound out the words the way she hears them but we are still working on putting spaces between the words." I hate that she had to sit by herself at lunch and have the other kids stare at her.I wish her teacher could have told me sooner.Doesn't she supposed to tell me when Stephanie is not doing as good as she was before Christmas.She started twirling her hair on the higher dose of Concerta so we lowered it after the holidays.I wrote her a note informing her of this and asked her to let me know if she had any problems .Now I don't know where to go from here.I am so stressed about this.I hate giving her anything but I know she needs it.Why can't she just be like other kids who don't have ADHD.It is so sad to see her try hard and not be able to control her behavior.
|
|
