How do I do it?

[tridlette]

Oh Mama, I have to say, I really do see the point Madison makes. Put them in school, and one way or another it will be the best for the boys. If they love going to school, GREAT! If not, make them stick it out for the year. You will still be there to support them every day after school, homework time, play time. And come next year, you will be renewed and refreshed to re-enter your roll as educator full time. Consider this a trial sabbatical for you and a trial school year for them! If you are all convinced before June that the change isn't working, you have time to plan your new curriculum calmly and with renewed energy!

But I think with a supportive school, you will be seeing great strides for the boys. Also, consider that they ARE growing up, and may choose different courses. One may love school, and the other will need to come home with you again. Be prepared to give them that option as well. Remember, they may be born together, but they are indeed two individuals. I spent many years as "the girl twin" until he chose to go to the Vocational-Technical High School and I finally felt free to be me. Oddly enough, after living away from him for 6 years now, I have been noticing ALOT lately, that I can actually catch myself behaving is such a "Dennis" behavior! It is almost like a de ja vu thing, I notice that what ever I just said or did, was more him than me. I guess maybe you as a parent might understand it like a singleton might not. I don't know, but I am rambling again!

Anyway, do keep us informed on how it is going. I am trying to decide myself what course is best for Patrick, public or home school. It is reassuring to know that I am not alone in trying to make the best choices.

Laurie

[HooDunnit]

RE "I think I will give school a try." Sometimes the school itself is not the problem. Principals, in particular, can sometimes be real schmoozers. The problem can be the other kids, the peer environment. Sometimes that environment can be brutal. That was the problem for my ADHD-son at age ten. I hope it is different for yours. Each individual situation has to be judged on it own merits, as you are doing. Good luck with it!!

Barry

[dansmommy]

I don't think a good principal is powerless over the peer environment though. DS's school spends a lot of time with an anti-bullying curriculum and also emphasizes respect of peers and adults (by both kids and adults). If the school doesn't have a plan about how to keep a positive peer culture, maybe it's not the school for your kids. Christie P.S. I've never homeschooled -- always been sort of a homeschool wannabe though. Have you looked into "delight-directed learning"?

[AnneM]

I have read through this post and I must admit I too agree with Madison and your sending them to school to see how it goes ... and I am keeping my fingers soooo crossed that this works out well!!

The potential positives are BIG ... and your boys have specifically requested to be there ... i contemplated homeschooling many times over the years but never actually did it ... my son is now in his 12th (and final) year of school ... over the years he has had many reprimands & many after-school detentions but he has ALSO had many pats on the back and rewards ... he has had GREAT teachers and TERRIBLE teachers ... he has made some GREAT friends and others that have not been so great! ... It is a 'mixed-bag' and I really hope for your boys that the plusses will outweight the minuses!!

GOOD LUCK to you and your boys with this new adventure!!

[ohmama]

I think I made the right decision too. Thank you all for your support. I especially appreciate the advice that gives a different point of view... it makes me think of all the possibilities and I can evaluate much better that way. I know I tend to be over protective. I guess school is not always a lions den. I hope.

[HooDunnit]

AnneM. In our school district, there are many families that homeschool their elementary school age children. Our son Robin was in a Montessori school from age 3 and 1/2 to about age 7 and 1/2. Then his impulsivity took over and he wouldn't stop kicking one of the other nice children in the testicles from behind (every time the boy bent over). So he was booted out. Then we tried the public school system. That lasted until the end of grade four, when his verbal impulsivity led to him being beaten up every day by groups of grade seven kids. At that point, age 10, he was diagnosed as ADHD, somewhere between "great deal" and "severe" -- he was two points from the top of the chart. So we homeschooled for five years. But then he discovered that girsl are attractive sexually, and he wanted to go to high school (funny how boys aren't much interested in girls in primary school, but later " Discover" an interest in them). So he is at a private high school now and doing very well. In our school district, there are some but few students doing high school entirely by homeschooling. But, in my opinion, middle school was a good time for Robin to be out of school The reality is that families often go back and forth between homeschooling and the school systems. Just because you try homeschooling for a while, does not mean that the school system might not be later better for your child. I take kind of an instrumental value -- if something works, go with it. If it doesn't work, don't persist, but try something else. Something will eventually work. My youngest son is is grade three and loves school. He is very social and not ADHD. My problem with him is that he is weak in math for some reason. So we work on that every evening.

Barry

[AnneM]

HooDunnit said:

But, in my opinion, middle school was a good time for Robin to be out of school

This is interesting Barry ... and I certainly homed in on the above quote ... because if you mean "middle school" as around ages 12-14 I WHOLEHEARTEDLY agree with you!! This was my son's toughest time at school - his "lowest" point ... and the point where I seriously considered homeschooling .... Up until about age 12 he loved school .... and this past year again (since about last Xmas when he was 14.5 years old) he really seems to enjoy it again .... but that period in between was tough ... he was in more trouble at school during that period than any other ... and in fact looking at statistics the "expulsion" rate raises hugely at around that same age (12-14)... dropping right down again by age 15 and continuing to drop from that point.....

Hmmmmm !!!