Missing school

[Honeysmom]

Does anyone have a problem with the school giving you a hard time about Doctor's appoinments.

Honey only goes to school 2 days a week. He is in 4k on Wednesdays and Fridays. Now, keepin mind he is only four years old, and I do not think I even legally have to send him, maybe I do, but I don't think so.

Anyhow, when they placed him in the W/F class, I asked if he could be switched to Tuesday, Thursday because his Doctor runs her ADHD clinic on Wednesdays and Fridays. The school never gave me an anwser. Then when I pushed it they told me that there was not room in the other class and we would have to work it out if there was a problem.

How do I get them to understand he is 4, very little, and needs to be monitored closely when he is taking meds. He doesn't miss a whole day only a few hours. They make me want to scream, AARRGG!

I suppose it doesn't help that the school psych told me and his teacher and everyone else who attends his IEP meeting that 4 y/o kids are not old enough to show any signs of ADHD or ODD. He just needs better behavior mod.

Ok, I am done ranting and raving for the day. Thanks, that felt good. ;D

[rosyred45]

Hey Honey, almost a dumb question, but are you sure you want to put up with THAT aggravation? From the school, I mean. I know, some kind of structure.

I don't remember where you are, but as far as I know, NJ doesn't make school mandatory until 1st grade. By then, most kids now adays will end up being kept back, unless the parents started at home or they went to a preschool.

I just want to say don't get your self too upset, especially about the school psychoperson(oops). I've dealt with kids that at AGE 2 showed signs of something...odd, add, adhd, now that I have come here, I know half of what some of the problems were.

Quick point: Working at a day care OMG 10 yrs ago, a little girl would throw tantrums. I mean TANTRUMS....20 minute tantrums. not "stomp the feet", I mean through herself around and I would literally have to wrap my arms and legs around her so she wouldn't hurt herself or any one else. NAH no problem, behavior mods would fix that. BS,

Any how, sorry so long, good luck and just keep up for your kid, not the school, if it becomes a problem for the school because of absenses, just remember: you tried!!

Kaiti

[catseye]

Sd8 is in first grade, and they havent given me any problems... I know she has way more appts then "normal" kids though... Between dentist, councelling, hearing dr, pediatrician hmmmm.. I think I am forgetting someone anyway, I have a hard time keeping up with all the appts... LOL

Sorry you are haveing this problem, especially since I think you are correct you dont HAVE to legally send him yet...

cat

[Honeysmom]

I don't want to take him out either. He has some little firends and it is good for him to get out of the house.

The point I was trying to make was that it is not like he is missing the section on how to split the atom, he is missing singing the reindeer song and making a paper hat. I know it is fun for him, but the appts are important also.

[Honeysmom]

They ranted, They raved, They called me to came and get him!!!

I was supposed to pick him up at 2:30, called at 2:15, he has pink eye.

At least I guess I do not have to justify (as if I really would) a few more missed hours!!

[rosyred45]

Just an idea, but since he is at home, just make your own little school up. Nothing too complex, just something that will keep a partial routine going. Make a paper cup phone with string, cut out snowflakes. If you don't have white paper, use junk mail.

I'm sorry, I don't want to sound bosy, but my kids love to do that kind of stuff, especially when they were that little and missing school.

Just make sure to wah your hands!!! I got pink eye from my daughter when she was little because I forgot to a couple of times.
Kaiti

[sierra]

My sprouts have missed school at times because of doctor appointments or psych appointments related to ADHD. One thing I try to do is vary the time and day so they're not missing the same subject each appointment.

Our psych is very busy. Sometimes when I have to schedule an emergency appointment there's no choice but to schedule it during the school day. Since school is usually at least partially the cause of the emergency I don't let it bother me.

It's not a case of truancy so I'd probably get pretty nasty with anybody at the school that gave me heck.

One teacher at the elementary school told the whole class that they could be held back if they missed too many days of school. There were a couple of kids that had missed quite a bit of school due to illness. I had a feeling the district would have been on real shaky footing trying to hold a child back who's missing school for medical or psychiatric reasons because those are excused absenses.

I called the school office to find out what the policy was. Turns out if the absenses are medical then they are excused and the child will not be held back. I told the staff that the teacher was frightening all the children and they were going to wind up with contagious kids in the classroom making everybody sick. And that if my kid caught strep throat or something because the teacher had harrassed sick kids into showing up for school I'd have to call the school district and discuss it with whoever is in charge of health and welfare.

The teacher made a partial retraction that day.

I know there are a lot of wonderful teachers out there that would never do such things as this teacher did habitually. She had so much tenure and seniority none of the staff thought they could challenge her. But if a parent got the goods and the staff realized she was putting them in a shaky legal situation they would either assure the parent privately that the world wasn't going to end or they'd make her stop scaring the students with her manipulative lies.

The hell of it is she's still teaching. My sprouts don't go to that school anymore. I just hope there are some parents this year who will catch on to her and keep her and the school honest.

[rosyred45]

I can say that the schools I went to, if you were absent with a doctor's note, it was excused. If not, it wasn't. Which, isn't fair to me in particular since I'm not going to take my kids to see the doctor if they have a fever or cough, just for them to say he/she has a fever or cough. They are going to just tell the kids to get plenty of fluids, rest.....Sorry, not going to pay for the doctor to tell me something I know.

Didn't mean to rant, sorry, bad day. But if it is an appointment for the well being of the child, then MOST of the time it is excused.

OH well,
Tending to a child with a fever.
Kaiti

[AnneM]

It sounds to me like the school is being extremely inflexible by being so difficult about this ... !!

My son is 15 and although he doesn't often have doctors appointments, when he does there is no query about it ... the query comes from ME these days because he is in a really important phase of school .... and so I try to make the appointments outside of the school day....

BUT at 4 years old and attending 2 days a week this is a totally different ball-game ... !! I am so sorry that your school is being so difficult and not being prepared to meet you half-way on this! ... Is there someone in higher authority there that you could speak to?

































.

[Honeysmom]

This just kills me. I checked, and if they have a note it is excused, if not, if not it is unexcused, and considered truancy after six occurances.

This was followed by a lecture about missing school and whatnot. I very nicely, (and I really was nice) explained that he is 4, this is an optional program, and I will be happy to take him, to the neighboring school district.

So when I called and said he was home today with a temp of 105, I said so you want a note from his doctor and they very nicely said, "no, well just mark him as sick today."

So I guess sometimes it does work to kill people with kindness. I can go and put my pointy hat away now....