bad day... VENT, VENT, VENT!!

[camismom]

First of all, our internet connection is on the fritz at work so I wasn't able to get to the site today, along with MANY other sites. We are getting an "expired domain" page for some reason that none of us (including my supervisor) has been able to figure out. I was off last Thursday and Friday and camping with Andy and his girls over the weekend so I was wanting to catch up with my addiction. So, if I'm missing for the next few days, y'all will know why. We gotta get this fixed soon! LOL

Secondly, I need to vent about ADHD in general. I know it is just one day, and I know we all have bad days from time to time, but Cami had a particularly bad day at swim practice today. According to my mom she was really "out there" today. Not able to concentrate AT ALL. Even Cami admitted to having an off day and "spacing out" too much today. Mom said when the coach would be talking and explaining certain things to them, she would be doing handstands in the water, or flips, and wouldn't hear him. On two different occasions she wasn't even doing the right stroke! They were told to do the backstroke and she wwould do the fre-style. That kind of thing. Mom said that the coach was pretty hard on her, made her do push-ups, and made a couple almos insulting remarks. She told him Cami was ADHD and he said, yeah, ADHD times three. Focus is not even a word in her vocablulary." Now, my mom is a negative person God love her and she can never find the positive in anything, I realize this, but it doesn't change the fact that this ADHD has reared it's ugly head today and made it's presence in her life STILL known.

I saw the coach myself when I was off last week and personally find him good with the kids. He picks and jokes and I don't think if he said these things he meant it as an insult... it's just to Cami and her low self esteem it can be taken that way. I called him this evening and spoke to him. He assured me he would make it up to her tomorrow, give her a pep talk, and bring her spirits back up.

That being said, it's STILL beside the point!! I AM SO SICK OF THIS DA** " DISORDER"!!! It seems like it affects EVERYTHING for her!!! I don't understand it though. I know there are some ADHD kids that do have something they are really good at. My friend Traci's dd is ADHD and excelling in track. Why does everything comes so hard for Cami? Why? Because of this stupid ATTENTION DEFICIT getting in her way! She can't concentrate therefore she misses the lesson and so doesn't pick it up.

My mom told me "as long as Cami is going to be involved in something that requires contration, she will need medicine." I know this. I know this with all my being, but it NEVER makes it easier to hear. I want so much for her to be happy, to feel like a success at something, to not have to rely on medicine.

I am having a major pity party tonight. I am mad at myself and everyone that was ever involved in my upbringing. It's Wayne's fault she has ADHD because it came from him. It's my fault that I married him. It's my dad's fault because he didn't raise me and if he had I wouldn't have even been able to ever date Wayne being he is six years older than me. It's my mom's fault for letting him go.,, etc., etc., etc.

Cami is 13 now. Will she ever be able to get by without meds? I feel so bad for her sometimes.... I have failed her.

[mothercat]

From what I see 13 is a LOUSY age no matter what initials you carry with you.. go ahead and vent ..just having a teenager gives you that right ;D me too ;D

The coach has to be hard on them from time to time..and it is very hard not to be insensitive when it is
a 13 yr old girl with or with out the adhd.

Dont even think of being mad at yourself or Wayne or your dad or your mom...without all of you there would be NO CAMI and that would be a sad thing for the world...
You are dooing as great job as a mom and that is all that counts here.. Cami will have off days..we all do.
Shoot ...you should see some of the off days we are having with Jared at the moment ;D ;D tomorrow is a different day..that is what I keep repeating over and over (mom thinks I am nuts) BUT BOBO is finally seeing the old adhdh light..(more like a beacon) ;D ;D

Have a good vent ....they do help.

AND figure out what is wrong with the computers where you work...you are missed when you aren't here.

[SKay]

So sorry you had a bad day--wish I had some wonderful encouragement for you, but for some reason I'm speechless. I hope things are better tomorrow.

[camismom]

Well, at least one part of my vent was able to be fixed.... I AM IN AT WORK! ..... BUT, there's always a but isn't there? The busy, busy, busy time is starting to hit, so I may not be here much today. It's the start of our end of month, end of quarter, and end of fiscal year. YIKES! lol

As far as Cami, I had a good vent and a good cry. I know today is a new day and am hoping it will be a better one for her. She is starting on Concerta today... another post.... so I hope it helps.

Take care all... gotta run work for now.

[sportsmom]

Christy

{{{{{HUGS}}}}} to you. Don't feel like you have failed Cami~~~We all feel like this at one time or another. I think if we didn't have these feelings we wouldn't care so much about our kids. Like you said everyone has an off day and unfortunately for ADHD kids it is way more noticable then for others. Is Cami taking her meds this summer? If not maybe she could just take one for practice so she can concentrate. Just remember that none of us wants our kids to be on meds their whole life but it all comes down to that same decision~~~~Do we want them to excel to the person they can be or do we let them struggle and feel lost? Cami is only 13, so that means teenage years, the big P will be rearing its ugly head soon and worst of all peer presure~~~she has lots of time yet to try and wean off meds maybe she just needs to find herself first? Please don't think I am pushing the med issue because I would do anything to let my Levi have a break but do I want to go back down the same road I came to get here? NO way it was a long enough trek the first time.

[vickilyn32]

Christy,
Even though both of my kids have found their "thing", there are still times when they are slowed down and are ready to quit. For Dan if it is not his ADHD, it is his asthma or his weak ankles getting in the way. Usually after he has time to chill, he realizes that he still loves the sport (football, basketball, track, baseball) So he will then "pull himself up by the bootstraps" and keep going. Of course I am the one who hears his fits when the coach gets on to him, and listens to him rant about how which ever sport is so stupid, and he is not playing next year, etc. By the next day, he is back again and doing great. It just seems like he needs that off day once in a while to just cut loose and let go. Maybe because on the other days he is concentrating so much, he needs an outlet. I hope Cami has a better day today, if she has an understanding coach, they can help alot. And dont forget to rant here all you need to , so you can stay calm around Cami, she will be needing it especially next year.

[camismom]

Cheryl, Cami is taking meds for the practices, she just missed yesterday. Normally she doesn't take meds during the summer but since this is something that like school requires her focus, she is taking them. She had an appnt. Friday and got a new presc., but I didn't get it filled until yesterday. She took a Focalin for yesterday and obviously it didn't work very well. She's back on track today med wise... but it's a new one so we'll have to cross our fingers it works and is enough.

Thanks for the support ladies.

[finnmom]

Christy

I know I´am a bit late, but still.... I´am so sorry you had such a bad bad rotten day yesterday

It happend´s to all of us some time´s, some day´s are even good and some day´s.....well....NOT SO GOOD. How wonderfull it would be to have a good week or so

I hope Cami can concentrate better now with med´s

Hoping today has been a lot better

[kstquilter]

hey christy,
glad you vented and got the worst of it out of your system. we all have our days. don't blame yourself or anyone else. it's just the way things are. without the adhd, cami wouldn't be who she is and i know you wouldn't change that. although i know we all wish our kids didn't have this.
but 13 is truly an awful age and you know the coach has to yell at every kid there at different times. i don't know a single kid who can concentrate 100% of the time on what they are supposed to be concentrating on whether they have adhd or not.
brittany is 20 and i honestly believe she'll need meds her entire life unless there is some new technology that becomes available in her lifetime. i guess i don't look at it as the worst thing in the world. lots of people take meds their entire life for a variety of things even if it's not their first choice. lots of kids are limited in a wide variety of ways. most kids want to be pro athletes or actors or musicians and will never have the talent needed. and none of it has anything to do with adhd. a friend of chris' was a nice, regular kid who developed asthma so bad he had to take sterioids. he gained a bunch of weight, the kids made fun of him, he couldn't exercise much because of the asthma so had to give up sports. which is worse?
so cami is just like every other kid out there, with an extra special twist thrown in to keep you on your toes!
glad to hear she's on her meds for swimming. you're right, we want our kids to succeed and if they need meds to do it then so be it.
good luck christy and hope today is a better day.
karen

[AnneM]

Christy!!

Sam NEEDED concerta at age 13 more than he EVER needed concerta before that age or since that age ... IMHO 13 is the "monster" of all ages ... and that goes for whether she is adhd or not!! ...

Concerta was a HUGE necessity in Sam's life from age 13 until the past few months .... when he has pretty well dropped it completely ... because it appears he HONESTLY and sheer LUCKILY no longer needs it .... but Sam 'NEEDED' Concerta from age 13-16 inclusive (in fact I don't even like to think where we would be today if he hadn't had it during that time!) so my advice is DON'T, DON'T think too much right NOW about Cami one day not needing meds ... its honestly (IMHO) wayyyyyy to early to even contemplate this!! I am told that by age 16 it becomes clearer whether or not the "child" will need to go on with meds in the future ... but you cannot even start to predict that at age 13...

I am so sorry that Cami (and you in turn!) had a no-good-rotton-bad day yesterday !! ... but then again if Cami was without any meds then this would make sense ... at 16,17,18 this will be " Different" ... she may or may not still need meds ... but it will be " Different" ...

[camismom]

Thank Karen for the words of encouragement and wisdom. I know you are right, I guess I'm just tired of "being on my toes." But hey, who am I to complain? You've been on yours 7 year longer than me! LOL

[kstquilter]

christy,
anytime! i know what you mean about being on your toes tho! brittany may have yucky dancer feet but i think i've been on mine way more than ever has been!
karen