Does this ever bother you?

[SKay]

Fairly often I hear people things like "If there had been the diagnosis when I was young, I'm sure I would have been called ADD." or "I'm sure my child would be put on Ritalin if the teachers had their way." It just seems like everyone has the symptoms of this disorder--or think they do. Could this be because people are misinformed? Maybe when they tell me this, I should start asking "What makes you think that?" just to see what they know about ADD.

It makes me wonder if I'm overreacting about my son. Do people ever go for an evaluation and come away with no diagnosis? Do drs ever tell parents that they are causing the problems by the way they are treating their kids?

[AnneM]

You are raising some good points here I think!! ... I must admit that over the years when I have given a brief "overview" of add/adhd to someone it is remarkable how many people say "That sounds just like MY kid!" ... and sometimes I have thought "Good grief does EVERYONE have add/adhd!" ...

Add to that the article that Linda posted here a while ago which pointed out that EVERYONE will concentrate and focus better on stimulants regardless of whether they have add/adhd or not .. and this becomes a more worrying point!!

Having said all this there are definitely children who ARE definitely, definitely add/adhd .... it becomes pretty clear from the moment you meet them ... BUT there are a lot of "grey areas" cases too ...

I don't know the answer here but it is definitely an interesting point!!

[Linda]

It is very interesting Paul's counselor said that a lot of people have traits of ADHD but are not ADHD. I personally have a lot of the traits but have never been dx.

There is also a broad spectrum of mild to severe ADHD too. I would put Paul in the mild to middle end of it.

Thanks for bringing this up SKay...I wonder about a lot of the same things too.

[SKay]

This is why I've been so slow at getting DS diagnosed--I have all these doubts. So many of the characteristics that ADDers display are typical of children, especially boys, but maybe just a little more extreme than other people. So what makes this a disorder? When it becomes difficult to function in society? Is "society" trying to put us all in a box--make us all alike?

I've wondered about the area of learning disabilities too; maybe they are just learning differences. Some people learn well using auditory methods, others visual, and others tactile. We do need to be able to learn to a degree with all of them, though. So if there is a serious lack in one area I suppose we need to find a way to improve it.

Everything is made out to be a disease these days, not our own fault or anyone else's. I just can't agree with that. We do have a will and have to take responsibility for our actions. I hope I don't upset anyone. I'm just looking for answers--thinking "out loud" here. I guess I really need to bring some of these things up with DS's drs.

It used to bother me that there was no medical test to find ADD, but did you know that there is no definitive test for Alzheimer's either? Because it is a degenerative disease, however, and it's effects are very clearly seen eventually, no one doubts the legitimacy of the disease. Our brains are affected by our behavior so I don't think brain scans are the most reliable. One thing that does help me to believe that this is a physical disorder is the fact that proper nutrition, especially certain supplements, does seem to help the symptoms. Anyway, thanks for "listening."

[Linda]

I do know that kids with behavior problems can control their behavior if motivated. Kids with ADHD can't consistently comply especially in overstimulating situations.

Example....you can tell a non ADHD kid to make the bed...get ready for school etc...but you have to break it down for the ADHD CHILD. I hope I am making sense here.

My advice and my opinion is to find the best Doctor you can and go from there. I was afraid to get the dx for Paul too....but I was so relieved to have a name put to it.

[mothercat]

I think that after having been around alot of "normal" children and several adhd children...I can tell the difference...I think that some teachers would like to put children in categories to make life easier sometimes...but there is a difference between a normally strong willed child and a adhd child that has no impulse control..
And YES some do come away with a "no " diagnosis....Bud was not adhd even tho he does have some traits.
I also get tired of hearing ...that kid must be hyper..when sometimes that kid could just use a spanking.. It doesn't matter how many times you "get onto "a child with adhd...it isnt gonna change them.
I think that also alot of the probs today with mis diagnosis is the lack of the parental word...NO.

Not everyone is adhd...just those who cant stop their brains to consider it.

[momto3wolves]

Yes, it does bother me. I'll admit that I've stalled for a long time getting my oldest diagnosed because he's not a severe case, if that's what this is. I still have my doubts. But, I had a lot of inattentive ADD symptoms as a kid to the point that I couldn't do my work. I would've given my left arm to have been able to concentrate. It's a lot better now, but, my husband will tell you, I'm still scatterbrained.
This makes it easier for me to accept, I guess. I can tell you that my 8 yo is a peple pleaser, and is a good listener, but if I ask him not to do something, he'll forget in 3 minutes. Asking him again not to do that, he'll remember and say, "Oh yeah."

[SKay]

Thanks for all your input--so much to ponder that I don't even know what to say right now! (thinking about the hunter/farmer theory now too)

I've heard so many "professionals" with so many different ideas. One says that ADD is purely a physical problem caused by food allergies or other identifiable causes; another says that it is purely a psychological problem; and others have ideas of everything in between--so confusing.

[kstquilter]

yes, it can be a very confusing problem. i guess i can usually tell an adhd child once i've been around them awhile. not that i'd ever pretend to diagnos anyone but i can have an educated guess!
i think we all have traits of adhd and that's where i found it got a little easier. i had read a couple of books and articles that explained how you have to have a certain number of the traits, any of the wide variety of traits, but a certain number and have had them since birth.
that pretty much narrowed it down for me and allowed me to have no problem with the diagnosis for brittany. i did the written list the dr's office gave me and so did the teacher. both of us came up with more than enough traits for brittany to be diagnosed as adhd.
i do think many teachers want to put kids in categories and who wouldn't if you think about it. that's why there are so many labels for people, mainly negative. but it sure is easier to dismiss a group as lazy or ignorant or whatever if they are part of the same group. of course it's not right but i can understand how or why it happens.
i do believe the way school is taught needs to be changed. however, i was also a part of that mid-70's change to make for more creative children. i have to say it wasn't overly successful from my point of view. it takes a long time to make that big a change and then to realize that it may not have been such a good idea. or least parts of it may not have been a good idea.
i think every class room has it's share of children with special needs, either a learning disability, an adhd child or just a child who has parents who are a pain in the butt! to try to meet every child's special and unique needs is a pretty overwhelming job for a teacher with 20-30 kids in class.
as for people who think every kid is adhd, i only told the people who needed to know when it came to brittany, teachers, dance teacher or a friend's parent when she spent much time there. when pushed, i'd say what i said earlier, we all have traits.... and let it go at that.
i tried not to say alot because it can cause such a variety of reactions from people. even our kids are all very different from each other. until you walk a mile in my shoes, you have no idea what my life is like nor do i know about yours. we all do the best we can for our kids with the knowledge and ability we each have to cope. it's no one else's business how you choose to treat your adhd child. we don't even all agree on how to raise regular kids with no special needs. my db and sil are raising my niece in ways i don't alwasy approve of, etc.
sorry this is so long, i seem to be especially windy today!
i guess you could always say "why do you want to know" or one of those other clever answers people have come up with for people who should mind their own business.
karen

[Linda]

kstquilter said:

i think we all have traits of adhd and that's where i found it got a little easier.

I totally agree I have more than my share ;D ;D ;D

[Sorka]

aS FAR AS LEARNING DIFFERENCES GO.. oops sorry... I have a kinestetic learner.. and the paper sent home from the school councelor said.. children with this problem often need medication ... that was a big part of the decicion to pull him from school. Since when is a learning style a 'problem that needs medication'?
UGh!

Denise

[finnmom]

Skay, your doupt´s are so familiar to many of us, at least I can easily relate to that. Although I knew that my son´s behaviour was not because the lack of parenting or rule´s, or caused by anything I did or didnt do.

I know a lot of parent´s will say "that´s my child to a t" or "oh, that happend´s in our house too" but they´ve got it wrong...yeah, their child may seem the same like mine, but mine is that times 10!! there are children who´s behaviour is just lack of parenting or impulsiveness, an true adhd-child does behave like that because he just cant controll his behavour due the impulsivenes and hyperness.

I´ve seen many kid´s who have come without dx, even if their parent´s have been pretty sure he/she´s adhd, because he/she act´s like he does....

I think a lot of this talk about how so many kid´s have trait´s of adhd(having trait´s of it is not being an adhd) is just the fact that people dont really know what adhd is, it´s not just loud talking and fast running but it´s really making living, learning and coping in here so much harder... By these comment´s they try to make adhd more "normal" more like a personal trait than a disorder, so they("the people" ) dont have to consider all the problem´s it come´s with, dont have to take it seriously

AND NOW; I´ll come out of the soap box ;D ;D

[AnneM]

Well said Marja !! You have helped me put this straighter in my own head .... because YES Mrs. Bloggs might hear the "general rundown" of adhd and be convinced that her son Joe has it ... but Mrs. Bloggs is grasping at straws and honestly doesn't know the first thing about it!! ... what SHE is seeing is a non-adhd'er who might be sometimes a bit disruptive in class, might sometimes show some "mild" traits of adhd (which I think most kids do just by virtue of being KIDS!) but she is NOT understanding adhd and NOT realising that to be diagnosed as such is X10 of what she is seeing!! ...

On the other side of the scale I agree too
... I have a friend who's son is SCREAMING adhd at me everytime I see him ... (although like kstquilter says I am NOT setting myself up as a diagnoser!) ... but it is SOOOO obvious ... but she is in complete DENIAL ... has always refused to get him assessed .... that child is walking, talking, running, jumping adhd and he is now 17 and struggling so much because he was never given that "fair chance" that diagnosis could have given him .... THAT makes me sad !!

[Linda]

I think the sometimes is right on with most kids...but with ADHD kids THE BEHAVIOR IS CONSISTENT