Got any ideas?

[sierra]

Bean Sprout is 15. He was diagnosed with ADHD inattentive at 9 or 10. I forget! His little brother had been diagnosed with ADHD ODD about 6 months earlier so we had already wailed and screamed and researched medications. His doctor put him on what seemed to be a pretty high dose of dexedrine. But he wasn't having obvious side effects and his teachers thought he was doing better.

That's how thing stayed until he was 13. Then he decided the medications made him feel terrible. Or maybe he finally got around to telling us the medications made him feel terrible. So no meds for nearly two years. This year he's struggling like heck in school busting his buns studying after school.

His study habits aren't too good. He's not very organized. He honestly doesn't know how to study for a test. We worked on all these skills but while he was unmedicated the skills didn't stick.

So now although he's taking medication again and probably taking close to the right dose he's also far behind in terms of knowing the tools it takes to learn. And he's far behind in courses that build on previous years' knowledge. He's decided special ed is for losers so he isn't cooperating with the school people who could help him learn or relearn the skills that help you succeed in school.

So the ball's in my court. I'm the only person he'll work with on homework.

Being ADHD myself I sympathize on the one hand but I'm very impatient on the other hand. I had to go through this myself in school. But I wasn't diagnosed and I had to get myself kick-started without medications. Unless cafe au lait counts as a stimulant med.

I'm sure Bean Sprout isn't the first kid to get practically to high school before realizing that school is serious and won't go away and the grades don't get any easier to earn.

Suggestions on helping him learn the necessary learning skills? Dealing with his feelings of failure? The rages he gets himself into? The piles of homework that take him hours but could take a lot less time if he knew how to manage his time? Should I back off a little and let him figure some of this out for himself? Should I pour it on in the remediation department at home since he'll have nothing to do with special ed?

I feel like a deer in the headlights!

[adhdtimes4]

We're in a similar boat as you, Sierra, with our 2nd guy. I could pass any test he takes, because I learn it after he's taught it so I can chew up, digest, and refeed the material he's been taught on a daily basis. It's not that his teachers aren't good; for the most part he has excellent teachers. It's so frustrating, because he really has no study skills, and if he did, hasn't the focus to utilize them.

This week, for example, he had a test for World HIstory. "I can study myself," he ventured. I decided to let him go ahead. The teacher had provided him a hard copy of the notes and a study guide. He has the textbook book on CD. (Hint #1. This is a big help.) Long story short, at 9:00 I quizzed him using the study guide. He knew NO facts except those he knew before he had taken the class. He knew the concepts (the causes of the fall of the Roman empire) because of the classroom, but couldn't get the chronological order, which Caesar was which, nor the other stuff.

SO, I got out the notecards, and made a visual and/or mnemonic representation of the whole chapter. The Julian emporers - Augustus, Tiberius, Caligula, Claudius, and Nero, we mnemonically associated with the months July - December, then drew cards (Tiberius began with a big cross to remind that he was emperor during Christ's death.) After I make the cards he uses markers to colorize them to help with memory. He has learned that he remembers colored pictures and words better.

Two hours later, he had all the facts and concepts. But he HAS to see it visually. He made an A on the test, BTW.

And at this point, I have to put all his knowledge in the visual form for him. Biology (shall I explain to you about the phospholipid bilayer of the cell's fluid membrane?), Latin, World History, English vocabulary. As he studies in class, I study too, using the textbook and classroom notes and make the cards or charts that go along with what he is studying. We 'draw' and use mnemonic devices for facts. We map concepts. We use real maps for wars and geography and who rules where and who conquered whom. We use time lines, sometimes using the pictures on the notecards instead of names and places. I do most of this BEFORE I study with him. This has been really key for us; I'm not learning as I go, I already know the stuff, so I'm not fumbling around.

We try to keep up with the teacher, reinforcing what he has learned that day. (Sometimes we're really good and work ahead, and then he goes into class with a working knowledge. This is the best way, but we're not totally there yet.) If we play our cards right, pun intended, the night before the test he reviews what he's learned and he's ready to go.

We're slowly trying to move him into creating the study helps for himself, but by the time he expends so much effort coming up with ideas and making cards, he's tired of thinking. Vocabulary has been our first inroads into him being responsible for making his own cards with their memory aids. (Then he loses the words and/or the cards. AAAAARGH.)

As for the classes that rely on prior knowledge-we had him retake Algebra 1 this year. He scored in the mid 90th %ile on the end of course standardized test last year, and 99th on general math but we knew it wouldn't all stick. Currently he has a C in Algebra, due to careless errors on tests. I still hold that repeating the class was the thing to do.

I'm not sure if this will help you. At times I'm not sure it's helping our guy. Nonetheless, it's the only way we've found that works. If I don't help, he fails or makes a D on most tests. But I can't go with him to college. And then what will we do. Can I get him into shape in three and a half years? I don't think so. But I'm going to take it one day at a time, and take comfort in the fact that he will have a solid core of knowledge as an adult. Whether he is able to put it to use will be another story. I hope he marries a wonderful woman or hires a terrific secretary!

I don't think you should back off, Sierra. Be his special Ed department. Your help can give him the success he needs to feel confident again.

[sierra]

Holy Smokes!

Where do you find the time? I've joked about quitting my job so I could go to school with my sprouts. Maybe that's what I'll have to do for real.

I can stay ahead of the classes myself. But I don't see where I'd find the time to do these visuals. I'm not sure they'd be as effective for Bean Sprout either. He seems to be an auditory learner. Rhymes and things.

Well it helps to know he's not the only middle schooler in the high weeds I guess. And not the only one to turn his nose up at special ed.

[adhdtimes4]

I agree, Sierra, it does take a lot of time, but it has paid off because we are less frustrated. We spend less time reviewing (cramming) stuff he should have learned two months ago. Because he knows it.

And Sierra, I've read your posts - you can do anything! I KNOW you could come up with auditory stuff to put your Bean Sprout back on track.

BTW - a year ago this month, I really did quit my job. (30 hours/week.) There was no way I could keep up. Now I substitute teach 4 times a month, clean a house (best money I've ever made!), work in an office two hours per week, and sell a couple of things online. We haven't missed my income. We all LOVE the extra time.

Except I'm not sure if I really wanted to use my time to relearn cell mitosis or revisit the symbolism in Nathaniel Hawthorne's writings.

I do know that I don't want to homeschool! I couldn't do this all day long.

[BBW4EVR1]

Hey Sierra-
first thanks for getting me here! ;D Second, I don't know how you do it. OUr son is 10 and I have quit my part time job-last day is next Friday. I told my husband that this 4th grade math is getting beyond my level (LOL) and I jokeinly said I will need to go to school with our son if I am to continue to help with his homework. To my surprise my son and my husband thought that would be a good idea!! So who knows I may be the oldest 4th grader in the state of WI come next semester! Aint it great??

[adhdtimes4]

this 4th grade math is getting beyond my level

Don't worry. I've been to 4th grade four times now with my boys, and after a while, even grown ups can understand the GCF and LCM.

[Allanque]

Back to my standard response on study skills...

Go get this book.

It has all sorts of "alternative" study skills from two guys who graduated from Brown - one is ADHD, the other is dyslexic.

It has a few slightly dirty parts (they were college students, after all ), but nothing too bad.

[sierra]

Alla,

I know you've recommended that book before. I've been meaning to take a look at it. Since he's boycotting special ed maybe I should go ahead and look it over.

I'm a good utility infielder when it comes to tutoring. Even math. Heck, especially math. But I'm not so good at teaching basic study skills and test taking skills. I got the skills but I don't know from where. Garage sale maybe?

BBW, Dang it's good to see you here! Glad to be of help!

adhdtimes4 you cracked me up with the Nathaniel Hawthorn symbolism. I had to draw a short story out of a hat and write a 10 page paper on its symbolism in Americal Lit. I got "The Birthmark" by ol' Nate. Story was only about 5 pages long. One of the least-critiqued stories he ever wrote. Finding the number of citations required was a heroic effort involving about 5 libraries. Oh to have had the internet back then! Anyhow I managed. After I got my grade I asked the teacher why she'd torture a random student that way? Most of the other stories were slam dunks.

She just gave me an evil grin.