didi
New Member
Posts: 23
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Post by didi on Oct 30, 2003 21:51:07 GMT -5
Ok, this is too much for me to take in. I need someone out there to tell me everything is going to be ok.
I had a meeting today with the school. I felt out numbered. The counsler, the intervention teacher, my sons 2nd and 3rd grade teachers, the school psych and the vice principal were all there.
After an hour and a half we came to the decision that they need to do a multifactor evaluation on my son. They told me that there is a lot of red flags for dyslexia. They also said that there is a " Discrepincy between acheivement and ability". He will qualify for an IEP to be written.
Everything they told me, I expected. It is just always hard to hear someone say it. It is real now and again I feel like I have failed him somehow. I should have pushed for this sooner. He is 9 yo and in 3rd grade, why didnt we do this last year.
He struggles so much in reading, writing and spelling. But his comprehension is very high. I just want to make it easier for him, take away all the bad in his life. I am scared of what will come next.
If any of you have words of encouragement, please pass them on. I need to hear something possitive today.
Thanks for letting me whine to you.
didi
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MommaToFive
Full Member
With God all things are possible!!
Posts: 113
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Post by MommaToFive on Oct 30, 2003 22:43:31 GMT -5
Didi, Hang in there hun!! It will get better!! I am having some of the very same issues with my 9yo ADHD/ODD/Depressed little man. I know it is frustrating and I so understand the feeling of guilt. But you are doing exactly what he needs by trying to make it better for him!! Hang in there and vent here anytime!! My email is cntrygrlatheart76@yahoo.com... if you want to email me please do so!! I would love to help if I can! Just keep your head up and remind yourself that it will get better!!! |
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Post by catseye on Oct 30, 2003 23:01:14 GMT -5
I know the feeling of being outnumbered, and feeling about this big . Especially when they start throwing acronymns around, or words I havent a clue what they mean!!! At the moment he doesnt have an IEP?? Is he diagnosed as ADHD? Because ADHD does qualify for an IEP... An IEP can actually be a good thing if the school uses it properly... It will get your son the extra help, in the subjects he needs help in.... They also have to make accomodations to meet your childs needs with an IEP... (I say have because it is law, parents still need to follow up and make sure the school is doing what they are supposed to be doing)... Sd8 had to be held back in first grade (yes I will have a 9 year old second grader but she doesnt look her age), her reading and writing are miserable... Heck the girl still cant spell her name without copying it or someone sounding out each letter for her  ... Breaks my heart because I worry I am enabling her, or makeing it too easy for her NOT to learn (by accomodating her)... Alot of these problems were not followed up on by the school last year... The school was too focused IMO on her poor behavior (which I admit was gettin quite out of hand)... This year I have followed up to make sure the IEP is actually being practiced... OOOPS I went off there a bit!!! SRY back to your son, an IEP is supposed to benefit him if used properly... Let us know how the testing goes! and whine anytime you need too!! Good luck cat edited to add I have heard of that test I know they put sd through something like that (I think), they put her through so many tests I couldnt keep up... But it was a good thing in the end!!! |
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didi
New Member
Posts: 23
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Post by didi on Oct 30, 2003 23:14:57 GMT -5
Yes my son is dx adhd and medicated. After starting meds there was really no need to write an IEP for it. He responded very well to concerta and we changed him to strat over the summer. His teacher this year was shocked to hear of his dx. She told me that he doesnt show any signs of adhd. Thank god for that. His teacher and I are very much on the same side, basically we were concerned with his reading. He is in 3rd grade and still on a low 2nd grade level. Now that the psych is involved, and there is red flags for dyslexia...I have to ask myself if adhd was really his problem. How do you know? All of these disorders show a bunch of the same symptoms. How do you decide to stop the meds? No one ever told me that raising children would be like this. I am forever second guessing myself. Didi  |
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Post by Sorka on Oct 31, 2003 8:30:29 GMT -5
Don't feel guilty. Quite often it takes till around third grade to be sure that dyslexia is an issue. Till then we tend to give the kids the benefit of the doubt and usually they will catch up or take off reading by around third grade. There is a normal developmental change around 8 years old that they switch from more concrete thinking to mor abstract thinking and that tends to help with the decoding process of reading.
So that is simply the point you are at and now you really dig in and deal with it. Don't worry it doesn't mean he in not learning.. as they said there is a discrepancy between what he can verbalize and what he reads and gets down on paper. That is the biggest clue.
You may find that he will turn out to not really be ADHD. you are right about the overlap of symptoms, but if there were behaviour problems it is best to address those first and sweep those away in order to enable learning.
The comment on that line that concerns me is that the teacher did not see adhd and was surprised by the dx.. how was he dx'd with adhd? Who suggested it? And weren't his teachers asked to fill out a questionaire/checklist of behaviours? If not I WOULD question that dx
Don;t worry.. get those tests done.. they will help the teachers see where he is at and what he needs.!
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Post by Douglas on Oct 31, 2003 9:31:56 GMT -5
This is no longer strictly true, and in the future will not be such an issue.
It is now possible to examine an infant within 12 hours of birth and run a neurological response test that can map evoked response potentials to vocal sounds, AND SPOT WITH 80 PERCENT ACCURACY THE CONGENITAL BRAIN DEFECTS THAT LEAD TO READING DISABILITIES AT THE ELEMENTARY LEVEL.
I have examined almost 300 infants myself in the second-stage research. There is a government-mandated examination program, a pilot for all of Europe, underway in Norway. There is also a pilot program ramping up at hospitals in South Carolina.
Within 10 years, virtually every child born that is predisposed toward reading disabilities will be caught at birth, and the parents will be able to apply interventions throughout language acquisition and the pre-school years to ensure that the disability never manifests!
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Post by catseye on Oct 31, 2003 9:35:48 GMT -5
I felt extremely guilty when sd was recently diagnosed as hearing impaired... I mean how could we not figure that out!!! geeesssh... Anyway the doctor didnt help when he said the "biggest change we should see is behavior" aaaarrrgghh I have been drugging this kid for over 3 years, and she may not need it??
Turns out so far (again the hearing aids are recent addition) the meds are still needed... So dont feel guilty if we cant figure out that a kid just plain isnt hearing us and pretending too, how in the world are you supposed to diagnose your child with dyslexia... We arent dr's, these kids didnt come with a manual (at least I havent found one yet!!) we are human and doing the best we can...
When the school determined there was something else besides adhd going on with sd8 they educationally diagnosed her with everything from odd- autistic... Some of these "symptoms" (autistic ones) have started to dissappear with the hearing aids..
Sorka I am assuming that the teacher isnt seeing the ADHD because the child is medicated?? And it is a new teacher... Just my guess on the situation...
cat
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Post by mskris on Oct 31, 2003 9:45:14 GMT -5
A couple of things...
Firstly, many children have trouble learning to read (my ds included). Learning disorders aren't usually suspected until third grade because many kids who are slower to catch on do so by then. The general rule of thumb is that they're still having significant trouble in third grade, it's time to test for LDs. So don't kick yourself about not doing this sooner!
Also, a dx of ADHD does not AUTOMATICALLY qualify for an IEP. There has to be a significant discrepancy between ability and achievement, and they have to be fully tested to qualify for an IEP. A 504 is much easier to get with a basic diagnosis of ADHD.
I think in your ds' case, the IEP is definitely the way to go, and will get him the help he needs and extra resources for the dyslexia.
Good luck and be thankful that the dyslexia is caught now - he's young enough to "catch up" with the extra help and will learn to work with/around his disability. Better now than compensating and ending up a high-school graduate who can't read!
Kris
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Post by catseye on Oct 31, 2003 10:01:30 GMT -5
That is right!! I tend to assume the ADHD automatically hinders learning, just on my sd case... It has hindered her learning emmensly, and I have a hard time imagining that it wouldnt! Just because her learning is so affected by it ... There are cases of it not affecting ability to learn!! Thanks for the correction kris!!
cat
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Post by eaccae on Oct 31, 2003 10:34:40 GMT -5
With ADHD - it is hard - are the symptoms from something else manifesting ADHD symptoms or is something like a LD falling through the cracks because of the ADHD. For DS he is definitely ADHD. The meds make a huge difference - he can focus and learn etc. He still has organizational problems because he has an executive dyfunction disorder and we have just discovered he has dysgraphia. It was one of those things where we all, school and us, thought it was part of the ADHD. Well - turns out that it is a separate LD.
If your son was dx ADHD and has improved greatly on the meds with focusing and behavior - chances are that is one of the reasons you are morely clearly able to dx the dyslexia.
Don't feel guilty! There is nothing you did wrong - and nothing more you could have done. It sounds like the school is on your side which is a huge plus! I personally know many adult dyslexics who are very successful! So don't panic! The good news is that you are hopefully on the right track!!
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Hikerman
New Member
Family man who loves his family!
Posts: 15
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Post by Hikerman on Nov 2, 2003 17:07:25 GMT -5
The most important thing to remember is he is now getting the help he needs. If we look back things will always be harder to understand because we look with today’s knowledge. Just like September 11, looking back now makes us think we should have done something different but looking ahead means we will try our best to make sure it never happens again.
Allen
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Post by Stormy on Nov 4, 2003 8:11:33 GMT -5
Didi you have to stop guilt tripping yourself, it's hard to do, I know because I've been there. I completely missed the ADD signs in my youngest completely. We knew of the strong possibility for an LD due to complications with my pregnancy and the rush way he had to be delivered. We missed the Add because there were no behavioral issues attatched. Compared to his ADHD older brother, the lil' guy was a total angel. He was in 1st grade before we got him tested. He is now in 3rd grade. He's been on an IEP and in the SLD class (specific Learning disorder) ever since and is doing so much better. We are in the process of having him re-tested 1 year early because we feel that the original tests were slightly skewed due to not being on his concerta during the majority of testing. I've stopped beating myself up over this and am moving forward. Much better for me and for him.
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Post by Veronika on Nov 4, 2003 18:00:35 GMT -5
Didi, I know it's easier said than done, but you really can't blame yourself for this.
Our kids have a gift, I don't care what anyone says.
When my son was diagnosed I cried for weeks because I thought it was something I did. But it wasn't. It's something he was born with, and he will do great things with it.
Over the years I have noticed how yes, he has difficulty in school, but he's an amazing person!! He's funny, out going, has a great personality, and is great to be with!
I see this as a gift because there are a lot of kids that are dull, lazy and refuse to try anything new.
Try to think more positively. The more information you get on it, the better you willl feel, which in turn will help your son.
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~~~~Erin~~~~ 
