Lost my temper

[Honeysmom]

I am so angry at myself. I totally lost my temper tonight at both of my kids. I am not trying to excuse myself, but I had a really really long day. DD 2 1/2 has a ear infection, I had to take her in for shots b/c she refuses to take medicine. DH did watch Honey for 4 hours while I went, and that was great. Honey is being particularily awful today. Just one thing after another. It was left over day and he was mad that we were having chili again, so he threw his on the newly washed floor. Then he punched me in the face when I gave him a dish towel to wipe it up, DH hauled him off to his room for a tantrum and made him say sorry. Then he pushed his sister down in the bathtub and stood on her belly. Then DD bit him. They were both sent to their room.

Then they ran around like crazy people knocking things over and pushing each other down. They had a few more altercations, broke a vase, and then they got into it over a teddy bear. I don't know or care who had it first, but it ended up with Honey strangeling her and she was biting on his arm. I lost it and I spanked them both.

I can't beleive that I did that. I am so ashamed of myself. I feel awful. I very rarely spank them, usually in areas of danger, like running into traffic. I have never spanked them before because I was mad. Then I hauled them both off by the arm (one on each side and I don't know how I managed that) to two seperate time out areas. Then I went in the basement alone. DH is at the grocery store right now so he missed the whole thing.

It is starting again!! I am going to ignore this and pretend that we always run around screaming an hour after bedtime. I know this is not the right way to do it, but I am at the very end of my patience for the day. DH will be home in 10 minutes and I'll unlaod the groceries while he puts them in bed, it is a wonder I don't drink all day.

I just needed to vent and confess the mistake I made. Thanks for listening...Becky

[GSDMommy]

Oh boy.....sounds like you are having my life!! I am sorry mine leaked out again!! I have spanked my offspring at times, but my feeling is that these things happen and it may <who knows> let the kids know we are human too!!

I have had similar days <not all that in one day for a while, thank God.....> and I know there just is no "right" answer for what to do. I think not engaging while thinking about listing your kids on eBay is a great start!! Sibling rivalry is just soooo special!! I grew up as basically an only child so I never know what is a normal amount of this stuff. I sympathize and know where you're at. I had LOTS of nights where the two oldest were up until midnight bickering, fighting and yelling <in an apartment> and I was lying in the other room thinking about plans and options......running away, going headfirst into a bag of Oreos, joining them, going to sleep and pretending it was an episode of Jerry SPringer.......etc. Wonder if this is why my neighbors stopped speaking to me and moved? Oh well.......

It will be OK.....it probably was OK.....hope this morning brings a new cup of coffee and a running head start on the kid herding trials..........hugs!

[mom2tj]

gdsmommy is wright we are humand and we do loose it at times..... I feel for you I too have a 2yo and a older ADHDer it is a battle sometimes sometimes the 2yo acks older then the 8yo

[Honeysmom]

Thanks so much. I was hoping we would wake up to a new day, but we didn't. I have the bribed with a bag of Cheetos right now watching Bob the Builder. I don't hear any screaming and occoasionally a laugh so that is good.

I think I just lost it b/c I am so worried that he is going to seriously hurt her. I can put up with alot of fighting and bickering, but when it comes to real danger then I don't react well. Hopefully today is just full of fighting and Honey not strangeling anyone.

[ohmama]

Honeys mom,
I think you are a wonderful mom. Your situation was off the charts as we all know, and have been there. I hope today is better for you. Don't let guilt get the better of you. You didn't beat or abuse the children. I hope you can get some time for yourself so you can realize you are just human. You didn't do anything wrong.

[Honeysmom]

Oh Mamma, thank you so much. I guess I just felt guilty b/c, or actually more mad at myself b/c I really try to disclipline without spanking the kids. It makes me think of something you said earlier about punishing a person who can't walk without crutches. I suppose strangeling would be in my saftey basket, and that does make a difference.

Dh was kind to me again today and took Honey to work this afternoon so it is just DD and I. That really makes a difference when I get to spend a little time with each kid alone. At least the kids don't seem to be harboring any resentment so we will just move on.

Thanks again, Becky

[ohmama]

Honeys mom,
In my post you are referring to I was upset over the fact that a mother would allow someone else to hit/paddle her child. It was a totally different situation and one that I felt was completely out of order in the first place.

I wouldn't hit/spank/paddle my child because of something they had no control over or that I was annoyed over and I would not let anyone else do it to them. Only a parent has the right to spank as far as I am concerned and it should be for a good reason. I would never give that power over my child to anyone else.

I realize it is none of my business what parents allow but I see this in my minds eye and it puts me in an angry state. I must learn to be more tactful.

[Honeysmom]

Oh Mamma, that was what I thought you meant in that post. I just was saying that I have hard time sometimes deciding when he is in control and when he is not. I chose to spank him b/c his action was dangerous, cohearent or not.

I hope I didn't offend you, I was just using your analogy. Everyone has a different opinion on this subject and it dose not suprise me that some people would end up offended. Jdmom also said we all have a right to our opinion on this one and I am sure we have people who view this from all extremes.

Personally, I do not understand the ramifications of paddelings at school since I have never dealt with or received one. So I guess I have no basis to give an opinion on that. My only advice is what is done is done.

I do have pretty strong feelings or "rules" for spankings at home, but I am too chicken to voice them b/c it is such a touchy subject. I don't want to offend anyone without meaning to.

So if I offended I am sorry......Thanks...Becky

[ohmama]

Becky,
You didn't offend me at all. It would be a hard thing to do. I appreciate feedback and am not easily offended. Sometimes I have learned the most from people who were passionate in their views and have told me straight out what they think and why. As long as there is a point and I can learn from it then it is appreciated.

I need to remember not everyone has this attitude and will try to be more careful in the way I say things. It has often gotten me in trouble. I hope some day I can learn the fine art of keeping my mouth shut.

[loveforeric]

Becky,

I just read your post about losing your temper...

You and I must live in the same house, I can't belive we haven't passed in the hall on the way to time-out....

Isn't it funny how they go awry right as dh steps out...
Amazing gift they have for that.

My two oldest boys fight all the time... I sometimes just sit on my sofa and have to ignore and act as you said, like this is normal an hour after bed time.

My poroblem is if I get frustrated with them I tend to yell and then feel like an awful mom for it...

You shouldn't feel bad, we can only do so much before the rope wears thin and we have to recoup to get a stronger rope... ;D ;D I hope you understood that...My brain is mushy lately.
((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))
Christina