I feel so sorry for him!!

[AnneM]

A group of Sam's friends are heading off tonight to the very place where we have been on holiday the past 3 years and the very place that Sam thinks is "paradise on earth!" ...

They invited him to go but he couldn't ... because "college starts again tomorrow" ... !! (These particular friends are able to go right now due to being a little older and being at work etc)

He has been really pretty much fine about it and NOT showing any envy ...except for a couple of comments today where he was wondering whether college was "worth it" ... but I am still feeling sorry for him!! ... because I KNOW how he feels about that particular spot in the Med!! ... Anywhere else at all and he wouldn't have been interested!! ...

Tonight he has been making comments about how he reckons it will probably be "boring there at this time of the year" and "it won't be very hot now" and basically trying to justify to HIMSELF that it would "not be that good anyway!" ....

I must confess however that in years gone by he would have been SICK with envy !! .. now he is a little sick but he is covering it very well!!)

Do your kids do that when faced with disappointment and envy? Try to "justify" that whatever it was probably wouldn't have been good anyway?

[george3]

Does Sam take any online courses? It seems like students here are taking more online classes than walk in classes. The walk in classes are telecommunication classes sometimes. The class is on a giant TV screen with interactive cameras and microphones. He could have taken a laptop with him and done his classes if he was signed up for those classes. The last four masters degree classes I took were all online. I ended up teaching the last one. The teacher was unavailable.

[SKay]

Poor Sam. It's rough growing up--or I guess in this case not being grown up enough like his friends! I think that sometimes we parents feel hurt more from our kids' disappointments than they do! My kids aren't mature enough yet to try to comfort themselves that way. I wish they were!

[Linda]

I guess it is part of growing up Anne....I feel bad for him too but Sam seems to be showing some maturity about the whole thing

I agree with SKay too....we as parents take things harder than our kids do. Wouldn't it be nice to be so resilient again?

[Amsmom]

sam is handling this sooo well, which speaks volumes for his maturity!!!! i love that he is appeasing himself this way, what a good kid!!!

i can only WISH that my ds would handle things nearly so well. he still has crying spress or melt downs when he has disappointments.

[finnmom]

I´am sorry for Sam too, but he´s so mature in his way to react to this that it make´s me feel proud of him

[AnneM]

Do you know it hadn't actually struck me that he was in fact showing real maturity here !! ... You guys have pointed it out ... and I have now turned from feeling sorry for him to feeling proud of him!! THANKYOU my friends for making me see this!! ...

[kstquilter]

i think both my kids try to justify to themselves when things go on that they aren't able to participate in.
the others are right, sam is showing some real maturity in how he's handling this.
plus i work for a woman who's daughter didn't get into notre dame and they both cried for 2 weeks. it was the first disappointment she'd ever had. now how can you get to be 18 and never be disappointed?
i know we always want to fix things but sometimes we can't and the earlier they learn that, the better off kids are. sometimes it's just the way life is and we've all had to learn that.
you should be proud of sam!
karen

[AnneM]

Oh Thankyou Karen !! ...

Sam has THANKFULLY really been enjoying his first week back at college and has been "full of it" !! ... and I honestly think he hasn't given his "friends in the Med" a second thought!! PHEW !! .....

Unfortunately though ADDED to that he also missed out on a fishing holiday in France in October .... AGAIN due to college !! ...

I HAVE however promised him that he can go "up North" (where he has been before - to the Scottish border) for a long weekend at the very end of September to see some friends of his ... I personally HATE it when he goes all the way up there ... but felt I really had to agree to 'something' in light of the two trips he has missed ...