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Post by AnneM on Apr 16, 2004 11:27:02 GMT -5
Sam is away for a long weekend .... about 500 miles away ... he is in Scotland! ... He has gone to stay with a friend and his family ... the quickest journey there is around 7 hours.... He has been twice before and I ALWAYS hate it !! ... (but HE always seems to have a good time ;D) I don't hate the fact that he isn't here...(he will be back on Monday) but I hate the " Distance" between us ! I also hate the fact that he has to cross London alone on the underground railway system to get both there and back ... something he is not particularly "used to" ... Oh shucks !! I wish he wasn't so far away!  |
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Post by HooDunnit on Apr 16, 2004 11:35:40 GMT -5
My Ben, who is eight-years-old, is also away for a few days and I too am having "missing him" feels. I just tried to phone him (he is at his grandparents' house) but there was no answer. BOO HOO!!! So then I sent him an email.
I can't imagine Sam going across the underground in London alone. I first did that when I was 28, and even then it was a challenge. But then, I'm a colonial. So it was all too new to me. In Canada, we don't build many things like that undergroung -- it's more work / not needed.
When does Sam get back?
Barry
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Post by AnneM on Apr 16, 2004 11:48:13 GMT -5
Barry Thanks for your reply ... Hey! We can start our own little "Lonely Parents Club"!!  Sam gets back on Monday (so he isn't away for THAT long!) ... and for the underground system I write out SPECIFIC instructions (giving colour and name of the line he needs to get plus the DIRECTION he needs to go in ... ) ... Last time coming home he got the right line but started heading NORTH instead of SOUTH !! Fortunately he realised his error quickly and got off at the next station! ... Sam hates London - finds it crowded, noisy and chaotic... but he says it is a "useful" place (what he means is that the shops are terrific! ;D) Enough of me ... when does Ben get back ?? I can well imagine how much you are missing him!!  |
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Post by HooDunnit on Apr 16, 2004 12:22:37 GMT -5
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Post by AnneM on Apr 16, 2004 12:29:02 GMT -5
Oh Barry!! You have got me going too now !!  Now come on ... between us we have to get a grip on this !! ... ;D I mean - our kids are having a good time right? It is just us parents who are suffering!! ... ... and when they are "home again" they will probably drive us nuts !! ;D ;D ;D ;D |
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Post by HooDunnit on Apr 16, 2004 12:37:14 GMT -5
But Benny is such an angel. Really, he is just like a little cherub that jumped off a cloud. If anything ever happened to him, I'd be so heartbroken. I'm glad that I have the cancer in the family and not him or someone else. Ben is happy with the simplest things. Even just having your time for awhile. He doesn't ask for much and he doesn't get much. He is so overshadowed by his older brother, who is quite self-centered. But Benny thinks he is the greatest thing in the world. My older brother was my hero too. Wheh he died at age 22, when I was 16, I couldn't figure it out. Then 25 years later I began to dream about him and all my grief / loss finally came out. I went to a self-help group. But it was 25 years later!! I had been emotionally frozen for that long!!
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Post by AnneM on Apr 16, 2004 12:56:23 GMT -5
Wow Barry .... Benny sounds like such a terrific kid ! .. and I can really feel from your posts the way you feel about him ...
... and as for your own older brother who died ... that is soo, sooo sad ... it is also sad that it took so many years to "come to terms" with it for you ... it sounds like you had had those emotions bottled up inside for all those years! ..
... and as for the cancer being "yours" rather than your loved ones .... I so very much understand that ... I understand it particularly from witnessing Sam's friend who has leukaemia plus tumour on the heart (17 years old) and seeing the anguish his parents are going through ... to have one's kids going through that is just WRONG, WRONG, WRONG ... and so much not in the natural order of things .... not that it is ever "right" however!
I actually think you need a big hug ... {{{{ BARRY }}}}
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Post by finnmom on Apr 16, 2004 13:03:51 GMT -5
Anne and barry  I dont know if I envy you or feel sorry for you ;D Having a free weekend ahead of you, kid´s taken care and haing fun. I know why you cant enjoy it  It happend´s to me too. firt I cant wait them to go, then I cant wait them to return to me Well, i guess we are just good parent´s TRY to relax and have fun for while Marja |
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Post by Linda on Apr 16, 2004 14:21:10 GMT -5
Oh Anne and Barry...I know what you are saying and feeling.....I have to confess...I miss Paul sometimes when he is in school!!not so when he was younger!!! I remember when he was in boy scout camp every summer for a week...I was very happy he was gone,and also lonesome for him...sighhhhhhhhh Barry...every parent should have a boy like Benny....he sounds so much like my middle boy when he was a kid...he just wanted to please his momma...all the time!!!Not a mean bone in his body. So Anne...I will join your lonely hearts club.  |
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Post by jdmom on Apr 16, 2004 14:50:25 GMT -5
I know how you guys feel! Jarrett went to Wyoming for spring break with his grandparents. His dad is living there and he hadn't seen him since Christmas, so I couldn't say no. But I wanted to. He was gone for 10 days and it was like a 24+ hour drive. I just felt that he is too young to be gone from me for that long. He is only 7. I know that he was with his grandparents, but I just missed him and worried about him the whole time that he was gone!
But he's back now, and had a wonderful time. He is going back again this summer and I'm already dreading it. Oh well, one day at a time, right?
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Post by AnneM on Apr 16, 2004 16:00:56 GMT -5
Oh! This is so nice because we all feel the same !! ... Marja .. what you say about envy or feeling sorry for me is soooo true because I am feeling the same myself ... part of me is like "Way hay ... I am not a taxi driver, meal provider etc. for a whole weekend ... " but the other half says "Oh but I MISS that !" ... and Linda I smled so hard when you said you sometimes miss Paul when he is at school... YESS!! Me too ... (but also as you say THESE days not in the "old" days!!) ... and JDMom all that way for your little guy and I can so well imagine you already worrying about the next trip ... Sam called me to let me know he had arrived in Scotland late this afternoon ... he also said "Mum ... can you just let me know what the times of the trains are on Sunday in case I want to come back then instead of Monday" .... so there is a chance he might come back a day earlier than planned which is fine by me !! But... its entirely his choice... MY dh said to me this evening "One day Sam will have his own life and we won't feature so highly in it any more ... " .... true, true ... but gradually please!! |
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Post by HooDunnit on Apr 16, 2004 16:43:51 GMT -5
I even miss the smell of Ben. After supper and the dishes (which I do in our house), I run Ben a bath and after his bath we do some math together and then I read to him for a while. He's an excellent reader himself, but this is our routine. Right now we have started the Everest series by Gordon Korman. While I read, he eats ice cream or some other snack. Sometimes, I put in bad words or plot twists. He says, " Did it really say that?" After we finish reading (he always wants an extra chapter), he has another glass of milk and says, "Will you lay down with me?" I say, "Oh, I suppose I might." Then he goes and crawls in bed and I fiddle around with anything else I have to do and get ready for bed. If he is still awake when I have my pajamas on, I crawl in with him and we both fall asleep together. When I wake up, usually a few hours later, I go to my own bed. Sometimes Ben has smelled my pajamas and said, "Ah, smell a daddy!!" I think we have a kind of olfactory imprint on each other. It doesn't last forever. Robin is 17 and 1/2 and he has a sign on his bedroom door which says "NO TRESPASSING". But when he was little, he used to say, "If you don't lay by me, I'll have nobody to lay by me." So I would always do that. My wife isn't so much for that. She likes to watch TV in the evening. If she hears too much giggling, she'll shout up from the basement, "Let Ben go to sleep!!!" We laugh uproarishly and say, "We better be quiet, or mommy will get the wooden spoon." So we quiet down and go to sleep. As a result, I now get up earlier in the morning.
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Post by Honeysmom on Apr 16, 2004 17:18:11 GMT -5
I'll be happy to send Honey to anyone for a few days if you are that lonely!! JK That is too bad, but they'll be back safe and sound soon and then you'll wonder why you didn't enjoy your time alone more. I hope you both make it...Becky |
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Post by Amsmom on Apr 16, 2004 18:53:25 GMT -5
Awww...I understand how you feel. I don't get much time away from my ds8, but on those rare occasions, I miss him after several hours. Anne, I LOVE that Sam may want to come back early on his own. |
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Post by AnneM on Apr 17, 2004 11:37:41 GMT -5
Barry - I love the picture of you and Ben being "naughty" together by giggling and reading too late and your wife probably sometimes feeling she has TWO young boys .. not just one! ;D But seriously to me that reeks of such a good relationship!! Honeysmom ... Oh please send Honey to me for a day or two ... I have realised I am just not ready "not to be needed" AT ALL !! ... I promise to send him home safe and sound! ... and Amsmom I spoke to Sam this afternoon and he is still undecided about whether to come home tomorrow or wait until Monday as planned ... I DO believe that Sam - even at his age gets a little "homesick" ... When he was younger he used to get VERY VERY homesick ... now it is "masked" but little things like wanting to know the train times of the day before make me suspect it!! (However, for his own sake I don't want him to feel homesick ) ... |
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