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Post by Dad2Brooke on Apr 12, 2004 15:36:57 GMT -5
OK,
Yesterday Brooke (7) got an Easter Basket at home, then went to papa's and picked up Easter Basket #2, then on to Grandma's and Grandpa's and picked up Easter basket #3.
My question is, when does this end and how do we tell her that the Easter Bunny, Santa, Tooth Fairy, and the Great Pumpkin aren't real? (Ok, I threw in the Great Pumpkin myself as a joke)
I have two older sisters who took great delight in bursting my bubble at age 5 in regards to the true nature of them. But, Brooke is an only child. I keep thinking that surely someone in school will let the cat out of the bag, but so far they haven't.
To make matters worse, I think my wife still believes in Santa. Last year, we went shopping and spent a ton of money on Brooke. The next weekend, here Michelle is with another list of Christmas presents. I asked her what they were for, and was told that they were from us. With a sinking feeling I asked her, who was the stuff we had bought the previous weekend from. Santa, she said. To which I replied, Is he gonna reimburse us? Apparently, she did not see the humor to that, and I got to sleep on our really comfortable couch.
So, how do I break it to them. How did you tell your children that they weren't real or are you like me and hoping someone else will do the dirty work?
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Post by anneke on Apr 12, 2004 16:18:08 GMT -5
I was 5 when my mother had to tell my. I got a gift from sinterklaas ( he comes the 6 of december ) and I loved it a lot.
I went playing with my friend and she had the same gift only she got a bik too. and I was realy mad becouse I had been nice too and I just got a little gift and she got the same and a bike. I was furious at santa becouse it was so unfair so my mother had to tell my and after that I did not mind it again.
anneke
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Post by aimee30 on Apr 12, 2004 19:36:19 GMT -5
For starters, I think most people go about it all wrong. If you start when they are younger and do like I do they don't expect a lot of gifts/baskets etc. Here Santa brings one gift and fills the stockings. The Easter Bunny brings a chocolate bunny. The Tooth Fairy gives $5 for the first tooth and then $1 for the front teeth. All the rest are worth $0.50. Maybe I'm a cheapskate, but if we didn't do this we would go broke. They get Easter backets from us but it has a coloring book, crayons, and one small toy (usually from the only a dollar store). They get so much candy from Nanny's and Papaw's that I dont' fool with candy at all.
To answer the question about when should they know they aren't real.....Well, I learned in about the third grade. My son is now in fourth grade and we went through the whole spill last year. He asked me though. He said that everyone in his class was teasing him about still believing in Santa. I tried to explain that there was a Santa living in everyone's heart, but as far as a fat man in a red suit.....Nah! He still gets money from the tooth fairy, he just knows its me. He still gets a chocolate bunny from the Easter bunny and still gets his one Santa gift and his stocking filled. He has also done very well in not spilling the beans for my two smaller kids.
After all this, I guess it is really up to you. I think around the third grade is when most kids learn though.
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Post by Amsmom on Apr 12, 2004 20:32:51 GMT -5
I think the honesty approach makes sense, but i'm just a big chicken. My ds8 is sooooooo sensitive and cries so easily that i have been a coward to tell him the truth about santa et al. he has already heard santa's not real from older kids. my ds told me that one boy said santa is not real, so he knows that boy "wont get any toys." each yr i wonder how much longer i can continue the fantasy. i dont want him to be teased by his peers. my older sister told me when i was 5 also.
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Post by HooDunnit on Apr 12, 2004 23:36:06 GMT -5
RE "the Easter Bunny, Santa, Tooth Fairy, and the Great Pumpkin" -- as I see it, these notions are helpful to the celebration of life. They have their own reality / place. You just need to keep reinterpreting them. The last thing you want to tell your wife is that they are a waste of money, especially if you have only one child. That will put you on the sofa for sure.
It's about having fun and a party. The objective part is that there needs to be a mid-winter festival, a spring festival to celebrate the beginning of new life, and fall festival of thanksgiving, and there need to be celebrations of the various seasons of a person's life -- losing your "baby" teeth is one of them. And so on it goes.
As Ecclesiastes says, "to everything there is a season".
These things are about joy.
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Post by camismom on Apr 13, 2004 7:13:05 GMT -5
Cami kind of figured it out on her own long about third grade. Most kids do, I think. They start hearing older kids talk, and eventually put two and two together. She was old enough to reason that in no way could a man or esp. a rabbit for pete's sake, go to every house in the world in one night, yada yada yada. That got us off the Santa hook, so we now get credit for all her Christmas presents, but she still expects the Easter basket, Easter Bunny or not! ;D ;D
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Post by rosyred45 on Apr 13, 2004 7:41:00 GMT -5
What is going on? No Santa? That's the bigest load of horse poo..... ;D I think that Tara is close to realizing the person doesn't exist, but the spirit does. Especially since we have found things on the porch on Christmas morning and don't know where they came from...  They both know that I used to be the Easter Bunny's "helper" at the VFW, so still not too sure about that one. I'm still holding my breath about what to say too. I don't feel as bad now. Thanks Ralph, you made my day. Kaiti |
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Post by jdmom on Apr 13, 2004 9:06:42 GMT -5
I think you should just let her figure it out on her own. It's less traumatic that way. The last tooth that Jarrett lost...he looked at me and said "Mom, I know there is no such thing as the Tooth Fairy." I said "Why do you think that?" "Because there is no such thing as Fairies." To which I replied "You'd better hope there is a Tooth Fairy or you won't be getting any more money under your pillow!" He just looked at me and grinned. So I figure that this coming Christmas we'll deal with the Santa thing.  It takes all the fun out of it for the parents when they stop believing. It's like the "magic" is gone. |
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Post by AnneM on Apr 13, 2004 11:17:47 GMT -5
I agree with just "letting them figure it out on their own" ... Sam went very painlessly from firm believer, to a "sort-of" non-believer (but still wasn't QUITE sure!) to completely realising that it was Mum and Dad.... it was painless - no tears were shed - no recriminations against Mum and Dad - just a gradual realisation ... ! Personally i think that is the best way! ... I would think that to suddenly tell a young firm believer there is no Santa or Easter Bunny could be very upsetting!  |
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Post by rosyred45 on Apr 13, 2004 11:54:19 GMT -5
Tara had a classmate come in and BLURT in fron tof the entire class that his brother told him there wasn't one and that it was mom's and dad's. So to quickly nip that Tara told him that he was bad and that's why he didn't get presents from Santa. My little darling thinking so far ahead  (btw the kid is still bad)and if I was santa, there wouldn't be enough coal for this kid..... Kaiti |
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Post by finnmom on Apr 13, 2004 13:39:35 GMT -5
Hi Another one who think´s it´s better that they find it out by themself´s. At school they will find it out. I figure it´s better coming from other kid´s, so they dont have to believe it at once, they can question those blurt´s, but if it come´s from mom and dad; you have to believe them, dont´you  My dd almost6, has already told me that she know´s there is no toothfairy, "you and dad put the money in there", but still she keep´s putting all the loost theet´s under the pillow ;D And ds8 told me that santa looked a lot like the neighbour´s son I think this is the soft way to start figuring it out! And hey, every christmast eve, I do believe in santa ;D exspecially if I get some present´s ;D Marja |
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Post by Dad2Brooke on Apr 13, 2004 14:31:07 GMT -5
OK, OK, I'm not a scrooge.
I will just let it happen naturally.
You are only a kid once and you should enjoy it as long as it lasts.
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Post by jdmom on Apr 13, 2004 16:44:23 GMT -5
Amen to that! Remember how much fun it used to be? Remember the anticipation? The feeling of dread when you were bad and mom and dad reminded you of how close Christmas was and that Santa was watching? And you have to admit that the holidays wouldn't be near as fun for you if Brooke didn't believe. That's when she figures out that she'll still get SOME stuff (but maybe not as near as much) even if she IS bad. |
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Post by Honeysmom on Apr 13, 2004 17:00:18 GMT -5
I'll go with the Santa and Easter Bunny thing, but as long as there is Charlie Brown, there IS a Great Pumpkin. I have been watching that cartoon every Halloween for years, (like 20!) My mom told us when we were in 4th grade. I figured it out, my sister called her a liar, and my poor little brother balled. My mom once told me that she picked that age b/c that is when most kids start to figure it out (at least when I was a kid) and there is always one kid in the class who refuses to be a non-believer. She didn't want us to be that one kid. I clearly remember one little boy fighing with most of the class b/c he said that his parents could never afford to buy all of those gifts. The poor kid stormed out of the lunchroom crying. The next day his mom told him and he felt terrible. You could tell he was embaressed. Why do some kids feel like they have to inform everyone else in the class anyway? That bugs me, if anyone tells my kids they are gonna get it from me.  BTW, my DH also spent a night on the sofa last Christmas due to a very similar discussion of parent gifts seperate from Santa gifts, but I only wanted to buy 1, so I am still holding my ground! Becky |
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Post by vickilyn32 on Apr 14, 2004 8:51:06 GMT -5
Well Dan figured it out around 2nd grade, but told me in secret because he did not want to let his sister know that there was no santa. Amber was in kindergarden, and did not find out untill she was in 4th. when they figured out santa, they also figured out the easter bunny and tooth fairy. They still get some santa presents, and amber gets tooth fairy money, but we all know it is just a wonderful tradition.
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