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Post by Allanque on Apr 10, 2004 15:58:58 GMT -5
I'm exceedingly frustrated with my mom right now.
She had told me that if I didn't get into the on-campus apartments, I could see about getting one off campus. Now she's acting like I'm crazy for even suggesting that off campus could be an option.
I guess that I should start getting everything that she tells me in writing...
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Post by rosyred45 on Apr 10, 2004 18:33:01 GMT -5
Maybe she started thinking about it more and more and you started wanting ot be more and more independant. I know that doesn't help a lot, but a mom DOES have a right to worry.
Maybe if you asked her why she changed her mind. If she says she didn't say it to begin with, remind her of the circumstances surrounding the conversaiton. Then if she still doesn't remember, know that she loves you and wants to protect you.
Unless you have a time line, you could always get some info on neighborhoods and such to show her.
Kaiti
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Post by Allanque on Apr 10, 2004 23:51:55 GMT -5
The main thing is I want my own darn kitchen! I want room for a real fridge, I want a stove and an oven that aren't downstairs and a wing over and just nasty. I want to not have half the money left on my food card when there's only 1/3 of the semester left, if that.
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Post by rosyred45 on Apr 11, 2004 11:07:11 GMT -5
OK, I sympithize with the kitchen. Before we had kids, we shared a house with another couple. Everything was supposed to be split 50/50, needless to say it wasn't. Awful funny how quick milk goes and bread and that steak I bought on sale for a special dinner. It just disappears. And the NASTY stove that no one else knew how to WIPE OFF....ewwwww. Did you tell your mom about the way the kitchen is there? I've never been in a campus apartment or dorm, so I'm a little fuzzy as to what it looks like, but isn't there anyone to complain to about it being nasty. I'm assuming like nasty, filthy, yuck I'm not cooking on that nasty. Good luck. I think I can hear your mom now: Oh you can live with it, it won't be that much longer. Besides, do you know how much off campus rent is??? Was that acurate?  Sorry, not a lot of help, but don't get me started about the people that we lived with and WHERE their cat's litter box went and why I always cleaned it out  Kaiti Happy Easter |
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Post by Allanque on Apr 11, 2004 13:07:57 GMT -5
Good luck. I think I can hear your mom now: Oh you can live with it, it won't be that much longer. Besides, do you know how much off campus rent is??? Was that acurate? Actually, rent off campus would be MUCH cheaper, especially since I wouldn't be required to board. |
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Post by catatonic on Apr 12, 2004 9:07:02 GMT -5
Allanque, I remember making a deal with my parents in college...they'd give me the amount they were paying for the dorm and the chow hall as a monthly allowance and I could get my own place and buy my own food with that money (barely manageable financially with a roommate). I had to learn a LOT about money management and ended up eating the same enormousitof rice and beans for the last week or 10 days of each month until I figured out how to shop etc. (To this day, 20 years later, I will NEVER EVER EVER eat rice and beans. Even looking at it makes me sick!!!) But the point is...an agreement like that might help you out if finances are an issue.
I know that as a parent, I think of dorms as a much safer and better supervised environment than an off-campus apartment. Your mother may be scared that something awful will happen to you. She may worry that you're not ready to look out for yourself so completely, without the shelter and protection of campus security, your fellow students around you, library and other facilities close by... Watching your child become independent is terrifying, especially since the world seems to have become such a scary place.
If you're anything like I was at college age (and for your sake, I hope you're not) your mom has watched you make a lot of mistakes and errors in judgment and thoughtless actions and succumbing to peer pressure in foolish ways...all behaviors that seem to go along with ADD and impulsivity. That may scare her even more. Not just the thought of her child going out into the big bad scary world...but the thought of you, OF ALL PEOPLE!, tossed onto the mercy of that big bad scary world.
There's no way to reassure a mom who is scared for your safety, except perhaps to involve her in the process of selecting an apartment. If she feels she has a little control in the situation, maybe it will calm her down.
As a mom, I can tell you that "we'll see" often means "I really want to say NO but don't feel like fighting about it right now...so I'll put off saying NO until there's no way to avoid it." Could your mom's "we'll see" really have been a delayed "no" to avoid a conflict?
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