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Post by WasAMom on Mar 25, 2004 14:56:14 GMT -5
This is a special note to all of you wonderful adoptive parents on this site  When I was 16 I gave up my little girl  , but my sister has raised her to be a wonderful woman, she'll be 22 this summer. I haven't ever told anyone about her  , she doesn't know that her Mom isn't her biological mother. She looks just like me, but that's family resemblance right? I don't know why I feel like I had to share this with you, because I haven't told very many folks ever. I just feel such gratitude toward adoptive families, I guess. I have been blessed to be part of her life growing up, but it many ways it has been unbearable. Whatever choices you make with your family, believe in yourself, that you are doing the very best for them. When you feel discouraged about the way things are going, remember what might have been if you weren't there for them. I know that you are a wonderful person, and have a lot of confidence, but as the biological mother I wanted to share my story so that you know how appreciated you are. Even if I never knew where my girl was, I would pray that she was safe and loved, and pray for her family because they were taking care of her! I know this is all mushy, and unsolicited, but I just had to tell you. |
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Post by StrugglingAgain on Mar 25, 2004 15:04:41 GMT -5
What a really lovely thing to say to people you don't even know. My son was adopted by us at birth. He has severe ADHD and ODD, but he IS my son, and I'll do everything and anything to help him. The edge we had is we know the biological parents, so we were watching and probably noticed the symptoms very early. I hope his biological parents feel the same as you. His bio mother has four other illegitimate children whom she kept and his bio father is in prison. Hopefully, we'll make all the difference in his life. Thanks again for reminding me that I'm doing the right things.
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Post by AnneM on Mar 25, 2004 15:15:39 GMT -5
I am also really touched by your note WasAMom ... and although I am not an adoptive parent myself there are some amazing ones right here (Strugglingagain being one and she has already replied! ) ... I know I am not strictly "qualified" to be in this post but your note really struck a chord and I guess I wanted to say a big THANKYOU for being here and posting such a really, really nice note... |
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Post by ohmama on Mar 25, 2004 15:41:08 GMT -5
I took custody of my twin boys when they were 6 months old. It took some years later before we could adopt them. My sister took custody of their twin siblings at the same time (they were two yrs old). The bio-mother (a family member) was very violent and afflicted with many mental disorders. She did not want to give up her parental rights, even though she knew she could not raise them and she didn't want them. She could not be a part of their lives as I had to get a restraining order on her, she was too sick and dangerous.
You did the right thing by giving your child up. Even though it probably was a hard decision. If it was best for your child, then you did the right thing. You are still a part of her life? Then you didn't really loose her. You gave her the best gift a mother could. Our children are not really "ours". They are a gift from our Creator for us to raise. It sounds like you made a good decision for both of you. Give your sister a big hug and lots of love. She is very special.
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Post by AustinsMom on Mar 25, 2004 18:00:56 GMT -5
WasAMom, We adopted our son as an infant also, and it warms my heart to read your post. It is an act of unselfish love to place your child's needs above your own, which is what you did.
Our adoption was through an agency but Austin's birthmother carefully chose our family for him. We were able to meet her, and I know she very thoughtfully made the decision and only wanted what was best for him. Each year I send a letter to the agency telling about his year and send photos of him and us. The social worker who sends them on to her tells me she looks forward to receiving them and has made a book that she keeps them in. I tell Austin that when she misses him, she can take out her book and see his pictures and feel better. I like that when the day comes that he chooses to look her up, she will know all about him and he will understand that she loves him and he is important to her.
Thanks for taking the time to share with us. Your daughter was blessed to have you as her birthmother.
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Post by rosyred45 on Mar 25, 2004 19:26:43 GMT -5
Thank you for guiding me to this post. I have a close friend that just put her little girl up for adoption. She went through an agency that was a Godsend to her. She met the parents, the brother, and they all had dinner as one big family. They both vowed to keep the other informed of any information.
I give her the biggest credit in the world. I don't know if I could have done the most selfless thing that she did.
I have an aunt and uncle that adopted also. The amazing thing for them is that the girls, who are not blood at all, look like my aunt and uncle AND each other. That is one thing that my friend had said made her believe that it was the best thing for the baby.
WasAMom, thank you for making me open my eyes to a perspective that I didn't before. I thought that I had, but I realized I hadn't
Kaiti
God bless you and yours
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Post by tridlette on Mar 25, 2004 20:57:41 GMT -5
I have known so many folks on both sides of this beautiful story.
God Bless all involved. It truly is the children who benefit most from the generosity... of those who relinquish their children and those who welcome those same children.
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Post by savvymom1 on Mar 27, 2004 9:19:52 GMT -5
Thank you so much for sharing your story. It really means alot to those of us with adopted children. You sound like an incredible person.
Both of our girls were adopted at birth (3 1/2 years apart). They have the same birthmom, different dads. We were fortunate to have contact with birthmom during the first pregnancy. She and I got to know each other during our regular phone conversations. I think she felt better knowing about the people who would be raising her child. We became close with our common bond of love for this child. Several years later she contacted us and asked if we would like a baby brother or sister as she was expecting again and unable to care for this baby.
We were overjoyed! How wonderful to have two children. How lucky for them to be real birth sisters. We love them both with all our hearts. They are the most wonderful children and we can never thank her enough for her gift to us.
Just curious Wasamom, how did you come to find this site? Do you or someone in your family have ADHD?
Thanks again for your lovely thoughts. Bless you.
Judy
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Post by WasAMom on Mar 27, 2004 11:25:45 GMT -5
Honestly, I have been a member at both this sight and the old one, this is my pen name. I have a child with adhd that I'm raising now, and I post here when I need help.
You're always so helpful and encouraging, I wanted to tell you friends how much respect I have for you, but I can't disclose my whole story... little eyes read too.
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Post by StrugglingAgain on Mar 27, 2004 20:43:27 GMT -5
Ooohhhh, little eyes DO read, too!!! I'm actually quite careful when writing on this forum OR just reading. My son (8) knows he's adopted, but he chooses to pretend he isn't listening or hearing about it. We've been told by his psych. to not push it...and that he hears us whether he wants to acknowledge or not. And the ADHD, it's such a part of our lives, his meds and behavior mod., I'm not sure that he knows that everyong isn't ADHD!! We've never given a name to the reason why he takes meds...he just does it!
You've been on here for quite awhile if you were also on the other site. It's been gone for months and months. 'SO glad you stayed with us!!!
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