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Post by Jorgy on May 12, 2005 22:46:57 GMT -5
I don't know how much more I can take and I hate saying that because life always hands out more. I hate not knowing if I am doing the right thing by Jake and nothing I do seems to help. I am tired, why even try anymore? It is all such a struggle and I know that once I get through this problem, another one will pop up. I wish someone else could make the decisions, I wish someone else could live my life. This is too hard...
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Post by StrugglingAgain on May 13, 2005 5:44:55 GMT -5
Oh, jorgy, I'm SO with you. I'm tired and worn out, also! Get this, we're TWO weeks from the end of school. My 9 year old ds has been in the principal's office THREE times this week. I talked to his teacher last night and she said he just sits and stares at her and won't do a thing. Then becomes disruptive and and talks back! MY son??? OMG, I'm soooo embarrassed. Now, he has to spend his downtime between meds in the principal's office every day till school is out.
So sorry you had a bad day. Wanna share what happened? It helps a little to get it off your chest. We're here to listen, ok?
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Post by Amsmom on May 13, 2005 6:11:00 GMT -5
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Post by Linda on May 13, 2005 6:17:59 GMT -5
:-XSue...you are so right.....Life will hand you out more...all we can do is still keep plugging away. I think you are probably making the right decisions for Jake..try not to second guess yourself. You are a great mom. You are strong and you can do it...we are here for you.  |
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Post by Jorgy on May 13, 2005 8:43:05 GMT -5
It is so good to be able to come somewhere where other people understand...
amsmom, I am on antidepressants but not in councilling at the moment because we were "released" a couple of years ago when everything was going well. Guess maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea again...
Linda, thanks for the confidence, it helps and yes I am second guessing myself which does nothing but make me feel inadequate. So I guess I better stop it!
Struggling, I so understand this frustration! I thought I had made my decision about what school to go to next year only to talk to Jake's teacher and hear the most discouraging things. It hurts to hear this stuff, even though I have to. It hurts to hear that your child is not like other kids. It hurts to see him struggle. I am so proud of all my kids and I want others to see all the good in them too. This teacher is young and I know she didn't believe me on how Jake was on decreased meds. Now she says she sees and understands but she doesn't. She doesn't live with him 24/7, she doesn't have to make decisions on the whole picture about the whole kid. She sees such a small part of him. No one can see our kids like we do, I guess. We see everything and we see it all through the eyes of love.
It seems like everyone has an agenda. Both schools want him as a student to boost enrollment and inhance funding(on the public school part) I am the only one who just wants to help a little boy. At least that is the way it seems.
Dh doesn't want to listen to any of this as he doesn't want to be responsible. His whole family lives by the motto "ignore it and it will go away". I am a doer. I don't like sitting and talking about it, I like doing something concrete and solving the problem. We are a good match!
Today is the first appt with the nueropsych. I am hoping she will take Jake as a pt and help me find some solutions that are workable. Maybe she can help me problemsolve this school issue.
Thank you guys for being here. I feel bad that I have been gone and then come back with problems only and no energy to help support anyone else. It seems like all my energy is being used to help Jake right now.
God bless, Sue
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Post by finnmom on May 13, 2005 11:36:09 GMT -5
Sue to you, I think we all know, in some levell, what you´re talking about. You just cant help that feeling of loosing all the control of one´s life  You´re doing the best job by taking care of Jake and his future. You are a great mom  please take a moment to take care of yourself too. And dont worry of being the "taker and not giver" in this forum, I appresiate you so much, for all you´ve been through and done for your family You are such an asset to this forum, so keep on venting girl  |
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Post by amcfanny on May 13, 2005 12:21:46 GMT -5
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Post by camismom on May 13, 2005 13:45:34 GMT -5
Jorgy, I fully understand how you feel and have said those very things many times over. Yes, only people with ADHD kids themselves can fully understand what it's like to walk in your shoes and can truly see your son for who he is. You are doing the best that you can and that is all you can do. You love your child, and are there for him. You are fighting for him, and worried. Do not second guess yourself because that's all you can do. As Linda said, yes life will always throw more at you...the best way to handle it is to take it one day at a time.
Take care my friend!
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Post by vickilyn32 on May 13, 2005 14:22:05 GMT -5
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SKay
Member Emeritus
Posts: 1,126
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Post by SKay on May 13, 2005 15:38:46 GMT -5
Wow. It seems like you are going through much of the same that I am. So many times I've wished people could see DS the same way I do. Yet, I'm also having to face new things with him all the time. It's getting to the point where when things DO go well, I don't get as excited as I did because I know it won't last long. I do still try to show enthusiasm to him, though. My DH isn't much help either, although he wants to be. Anyway, I didn't mean for this to be about me, but I just wanted to tell you that you are not alone--we are here for you. |
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Post by kstquilter on May 16, 2005 12:02:22 GMT -5
i hate to even say anything here today. i'll post a thread of my own shortly. but i can so relate to this and dd is 20. i still don't see it ending.
karen
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mothercat
Member Emeritus
With a little luck and a lot of Gods help anything is possible!
Posts: 1,468
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Post by mothercat on May 16, 2005 22:32:08 GMT -5
We all have been there...maybe just one thing that will help..I started looking at Jareds life (adhd) as a challenge instead of one problem after another.. I can meet the challenge one day at a time and it is getting easier. If I sit and wonder why everything seems so bad and wandering if it will ever end .. believe me I have been there too..I find myself sooooo depressd it is hard to even get off the couch. I take each day and say I can get thru this easier than yesterday..and looking for all the funny things in life helps alot too. It does seem to get better..there are still bad days but not so often now and my confidence in meeting each day head on gives Jared more confidence the same way. They pick up when we are all flustered and depressed and it affects them too. Tired..I have Jared , grandma, my parents , my teenager, and hubby to deal with..along with the other stuff I do..I would be dead on my feet if I actually let my self think about things. If I stopped to second guess every decision I have made ..OMG I would be a basket case. We do the best things by instinct..that is why they call us mom  so dont go second guessing yourself. (BOBO says it is like buying a christmas tree..I look at the first one on the lot and then after an hour and a half of freezing his nts off I drag him back to the first one and say thats it. ;D ) Point is you are doing a great job and you are the best thing that ever happened to Jake so keep up the good work and dont lose the faith. If you make a decision it wil be the right one by instinct because it is in you to protect and do what is best for your child. We are all there for ya! I allow me ten minutes alone of the morning to contemplate the day.. I also allow me ten minutes at nite to reflect and say thank you for all the small things.. try it.. it may only be twenty minutes but hey watching the sunrise is awesome.
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