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Post by babytay on May 9, 2005 14:10:32 GMT -5
I know a few of you guys have followed my and my sons problems. He was observed by a behavior specilist awhile ago and I had a meeting with him this morning. It was me the vice principle his teacher and his dad and the specialist. The guys name is Kevin Van Cott. The company he is with is Van Cott & Associates ltd. he was hired by the school and he works with Echo.
If anyone is knows about this kind of thing please post some info. this is all new to me i think the school is trying to help. I know this report he had was overwhelming and it made reference to the fact that my child is unmedicated. i told the guy that the side effects were very bad for my son and we have tried concerta, focalin, ritlan la, and adderal over the years. i have tried feingold but it was very hard to follow because i have two other kids and the diet is very hard.
I was so upset when I left the meeting because they really focused on how children turn out when they have adhd and are not medicated. My child is so moody when he is medicated he crys all the time and it is very hard for him to sleep. he already takes two or three meds for sinus and allergy.
the report was about 10 pages long and they suggested he also may need the 504 plan but I dont know if he will get it. He doesnt have real bad grades and he is very smart. His grades are falling because he spends lots of time in the office or out of class. I am going to try to find him a new doc to. i am also getting a doc for myself. I havent posted much about my boys problems lately it is just to hard to think about.
everyone agreed in the meeting that my boy wants to do well and he wants to please everyone. I was almost in tears a few times but I tried to control myself.
The guy gave the teachers alot of ideas on how to try to handle my son in certain situations. I hope some of these things work. I am so frustrated.
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Post by kurs10b on May 9, 2005 14:57:42 GMT -5
Did they give you a copy of the report? If you read it over a few times and understand it better it may not feel so overwhelming. Just remember that it cant hurt to have all these people on your side to try to solve the problems.
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Post by AnneM on May 10, 2005 15:47:16 GMT -5
babytay  I agree with kurs10b that to have all these people trying to help your dh is in fact positive ... although I fully understand how overwhelming it must feel right now ... One thing that I did think about was that all the meds you said you had tried were all members of the "stimulant" family .... (although I am not certain about focalin but I "think" it is too ... but can someone clarify that!) .... What I am thinking (and as I say this is just a thought being thrown out there!) is that generally if a child has an adverse reaction to the stims this is generally a) because some children just do not get on with the stims anyway or b) because there is a mood disorder present which can worsen when taking the stims ... (there is probably a c) and a d) there too but a) and b) are the ones I am most familiar with... ) Would your doc be open to trying non-stimulant medication? Could there possibly be a mood disorder which would mean looking at a different med altogether? Has this possibility been looked at already or if not could it be looked into? As I say these thoughts are literally being "thrown out there" and very possibly way off track .... they are just what struck me when reading your note .... |
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Post by catseye on May 10, 2005 16:16:03 GMT -5
We are going through something that sounds similar, but it is initiated by ME not the school (independent evaluation is what it started out as!!  )... They had us get the book by russel barkley (sp?) called taking charge of ADHD... We are in parenting classes, and trying new things, that seem (OH I hope this doesnt JINX us!!) to be working...  Or at the very least a start!! I will write more specifics later, right now I have to get home for baseball practice! Will get back on here some time tonight, with book in hand, and see if it might be helpfull!! One more thought put that report DOWN, and reread it later, right now it wont sink in well... Dealing with our children is a REALLY emotional topic, try to put it down for a day or so and reread with an open perspective/mind... Hang in there!! cat |
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Post by catseye on May 11, 2005 8:15:40 GMT -5
I am reading a book (suggested by sd's psychiatrist), its called taking charge of ADHD (yes I know you arent dealing with ADHD), it really has some good things in it...
It has brought to my attention that most of the attention sd is getting is negative... Its making me see how to give more good attention and catch sd doing good behaviors...
The first assignment is to spend 20 minutes a day with JUST the child causing the comotion (dh and I have split the kids he is with bs while I am with sd, and vice versa)... This is strictly play time, whatever the child wants to do... You join them in their activity, with no instructions or questions from you... If child chooses a game of some sort, let them make the "rules" up during this 20 minutes, you can use other times for teaching etc, just not this 20 minutes.. Just play with them, and comment on how nice it is playing together quietly... Tell them they are being good, or playing well... Things like "I like it when we play together quietly", "you are doing better at building that this week then you could last week" compliment them on their behavior or achievements... NO backhanded comments, of why cant you do this all the time etc etc... Just relax and play at their level (for us it has been dolls and I am waaaaayyyy over dolls!! LMAO)...
Anyway next week we move on to my asking simple requests from sd... "can you hand me that towel", "pass the salt" etc... Just real simple things, that would take minimal effort on childs part, yet make the feel how much they are helping you... Of course compliment the compliance from child...
The other exercise the book has had me do thus far, is write down "your worst supervisor", and "your best supervisor", in a job you have had in the past... Then list WHY you liked, or didnt like them... Chances are you will list things, like didnt appreciate my work and did appreciate my work (thus you would be more willing to go out of your way for someone who does appreciate what you do)... Then I had to put my parenting through sd's eyes into the list, and see which supervisor I am in regards to sd... I am embarrased but I was in the worst supervisor catagory... Really really eye opening for me (not saying you have this problem at all, just something to think about!)...
It is working pretty well so far for us, sd has been more complient and actually striving for the praise instead of the negative attention we were stuck in... Thought I would pass it along just in case it is helpfull to you or anyone else reading this post...
cat
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Post by babytay on May 11, 2005 10:34:56 GMT -5
Thanks cat for that information I am go to see if that book is at my library. I am going to look at the report again. The specialist called me yesterday with some other doctors that are good in my area. One of them deals with alot of ADHD patients. I will ask her about the mood disorder problems along with adhd and see what happens. Thanks again everyone. By the way my sons day went better yesterday he did his homework and everything.  sometimes i wonder? I am very thankful for any good days. |
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Post by camismom on May 11, 2005 11:37:31 GMT -5
I agree with what Kurs and Anne already said. Anne made a good point too about the med...all you listed you hae tried are stimulant meds. Talk to the doc about trying a non-stimulant. Strat has worked well for kids that can't tolerate the stim meds and with summer right around the corner what better time to get him started on it. Also, seems like I've read before that Wellbutrin, although a depression med, can help some with attention problems. I would also push VERY HARD for that 504. You say you don't think he'd get it, but I say he is documented ADHD and good grades or not he is struggling due to that ADHD so this qualifies him for it. This would help him tremendously, esp. if he can't find a med that works for him. This would MAKE the school have to help him in giving him more time when needed for classwork or tests, special seating, copies of notes if needed, etc. Schools generally don't push for these things and are good at trying to get out of them because it means more work FOR them. Another thought that comes to mind is pushing them to work with him on behavior modification. Guidance counselors are supposed to be trained in this area. Maybe they can set up some wekkly meetings with him to discuss better ways for him to react when upset, frustrated, confused, etc. In the meantime they can also work with the teachers on ways to help him and derail any potential explosions in their tracks. I know how hard all this is for you and fully understand if you just feel like crawling deeper under your covers to hide from it all. It can be so overwhelming. How much longer before school lets out there? Just keep counting down your days. Enjoy your summer, get some rest, and get enough so you feel recharged to start tackling this come Autumn. In the meantime we are always here whenever you need a good vent, cry, or whatever. Take care girl! |
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Post by catseye on May 18, 2005 9:28:28 GMT -5
Just wanted to add we were told the same thing, when we decided on wellbutrin instead of something that started with an "L" for sd's depression... The psychiatrist said it MAY eliminate the need for the adderall xr 30 mg as well... Unfortunately so far I dont see that happening for my sd, but she is HIGHLY ADHHHHHHHD... cat |
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