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Post by fivegonefishing on Feb 9, 2004 10:41:21 GMT -5
Over the three weeks, our lives have been turned upside down more times then I can count. In short, my husband while going through mid-life crisis made a real bad discision and I'm not sure I can live with it. He has moved back into the house but we are far from being together.
I guess my question is, has anyone survived a break-up? We are both responsible for growing apart over the last couple of years but I'm not sure I can forgive his actions. Any suggestions? We are seeking councelling. Feel free to email me if you'd rather not post an answer.
Thanks,
Tammy
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Post by catseye on Feb 9, 2004 10:49:11 GMT -5
I'm so sorry you are going through this... Sending you  I think counceling is your best answer, and you have to do what YOU can live with... Good luck cat |
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Post by ohmama on Feb 9, 2004 11:13:00 GMT -5
fivegone fishing,
My husband and I were seperated for 4 years. He was having some kind of break-down. We did not divorce during this time or make any major decisions. We also didn't date other people. We dated each other the last year and have been back together for 10 years now. I was able to let go of my anger and found out that you can fall in love with each other all over again.
You can email me if you want.
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Post by StrugglingAgain on Feb 9, 2004 20:20:27 GMT -5
I don't know what your husband's choice was that you are having trouble living with, but mine made a poor choice three years ago and it wasn't infidelity. Since that time, I find that I'll never, ever trust him again. Our marriage will never, ever be the same. The problem is (if you call this a problem) we've been married thirty-five years and how do you start over then??? I'm happiest when he's at the office and for the first time in my adult life, I'm testing myself every day with many things to see "Now, what if I had to do this all by myself!!" I not only have an 8-year-old severe ADHD/ODD son, but a grown daughter who would never understand unless I told her the whole story and I wouldn't do that. My point is, I guess, that every family unit has it's crap in one way or another. I still don't know if I can stay, and at the time it happened, all I told him was I'll stay as long as I can, no promises. I know someone on here will suggest counseling, but that was tried twice and was a horrible failure both times. No thanks. So, we all keep pluggin' along......
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Post by fivegonefishing on Feb 9, 2004 23:19:45 GMT -5
Thanks for your honesty. I know and he knows I can survive very well if he wern't here. I think it scares him how independent I am, I've had to be as we've grown so far apart over the last year or so.
I see two possible outcomes; we grow stronger together or he grows stronger to be on his own. Unfortunatly, we realize he has undx'd adhd, which has caused most of our distress. We are now seeking help for that.
He didn't realize when he left how much he would be leaving behind, he now has motive to give this an honest attempt to resolve very old issues. I do hope I can trust him again.
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